Hi,
I'm currently stuck at the negative values release in the Life Purpose Course. I was able to sort out three negatives themes in my thinking. My problem is that with one of them, I wasn't able to determine any specific traumatic event which caused that theme. In fact, I don't think that there even is a specific event.
So, for basically all my life, I have had this need for approval/low self esteem which is still leading me to seek approval from other people by being very agreeable, avoiding confrontation and just having a big fear of rejection.
I think that a significant part of that has to do with my dad. When I was a child (from age 5 on) he really wanted me to play the piano and the violin. So he basically forced me to practice daily. Now, I am thankful that he did that because I'm pretty good at playing the piano now. But at the time, I hated it.
So, my theory is that I practiced the piano to please my dad and therefore receive his approval and love. And because he didn't show his love that much more often, that was one of the only ways to get it from him. So I think, this paradigm: "Do what other people want from you and you will get their approval" sank into my subconscious mind over the years. And I really can't remember a specific traumatic event in that context. Of course we were sometimes fighting about it and multiple times I was on the brink of stopping playing the piano/violin. But every time, depending on my age, my dad either talked me out of it or simply didn't allow me stop. But I don't really see these fights as anything traumatic. I rather think that the sheer amount of instances led to this belief.
So, I don't know how to eradicate this negative theme by using the negative values release because, as I said, I don't think there is any particular traumatic event attached to it. Should I just take one of the many fights/discussions me and my dad had and use this as a substitute for this traumatic event? Or is the negative values release just the wrong technique for dealing with that kind of stuff?
