Oeaohoo

Until eventually you end up like this: Crede experto!

I don’t know. The most fulfilling experiences I have had with women have been on a soul-level and not sexual. I think I do agree with Leo that one woman will never fulfil you sexually, if that is what you are looking for. Of course, especially as the years go by, you will probably never fulfil one woman either…

Joking aside, according to a recent blog post from Leo, it’s not possible and you need to learn to satisfy yourself.

Exactly, the author is trying to argue that working with dark, destructive and demonic forces can create a “dark night of the soul” which purges the ego of its attachment to ideals and abstractions as well as base desires. I'm not sure that I agree with this, by the way, especially as a practice. However, if one has already made a deal with the devil, it could be useful to consider how this might be reframed as still part of an overarching spiritual trajectory…

Well, in Barry Lyndon, it does feel good until he has to reap all of the bad karma that he has accumulated… I agree though, lying and cheating rot the soul. Like the Faust story, it is trading the ephemeral for the eternal.

Your narrative reminds me of the beautiful film Barry Lyndon in which the protagonist, who is lied to and cheated, becomes a liar and a cheat himself to beat them… On the subject of films, the part of your post where you describe how the Devil speaks to you when you feel wounded and betrayed reminds me of the recent Robert Egger’s film Nosferatu, in which the female protagonist summons a dark and evil ancient spirit to cope with her loneliness and isolation: The good news is that, from an esoteric point of view, a deal with the devil can be a path to the True Self as absolute nothingness. Some quotes from a book I have been reading recently, Dark Enlightenment: The Apotheosis of the Self by Jack Fox-Williams: I liked your post, especially the part about not giving up on the heroic quest. This also reminds me of Wagner’s Parsifal…

Modern people are too atheistic and nihilistic to care about blasphemy. They have other false idols, but not God. If blasphemy has relevance today it is in the political sphere.

Master Ma was very sick. The head monk asked, "How is your Reverence feeling lately?" Master Ma said, "Sun-faced Buddha, Moon-faced Buddha".

@LambdaDelta How does vasoconstriction manifest for you on psychedelics? Do you find that one reacts to it differently given the change in mindset?

This is an interesting idea. So God has no agency or will of (His/Its) own? Why does God have to expand indefinitely and explore all possibilities of consciousness? That seems like a constraint on God’s freedom. At the same time, I suppose it is infinite freedom to create reality…

Here’s a joke for you: A man goes running to his psychiatrist and says: “Doctor, doctor! Please help me… My whole life is a joke!”

But that disappointment is one thing that drives people towards spirituality. So in that sense, it is designed to be disappointing — to inspire and encourage you to wake up from the dream.

A friend told me that 2C-E is a guaranteed bad trip. Looking it up now, though, it doesn’t seem to be the case… Thanks for the advice and sharing your interesting trip report. I don’t think I’ll be able to get hold of clonidine but I might be able to find an equivalent alternative. The tablets are supposed to be 25mg. I’ll probably start with one and see how it goes. It’s interesting you say that as other people who have taken it told me that one and a half tablets gave the best experience.

@LambdaDelta Thanks for your response. That’s a very strong dose. What is it like at that high of a dose? Yes, these are pills so I won’t be able to test them. That being said, other people have taken them already and described the expected effects of 2c-b. I’m a bit worried about this as I have been having problems with vasoconstriction from nicotine use recently. I’ll have to cut that out before I try it. I’m hoping that since I already have experience with other psychedelics (mostly acid, also psilocybin, Changa and 5-MeO) and have a long-time interest in metaphysical inquiry, it might prove to be a more profound experience for me. We’ll have to see, if I ever take it…

Yes… And spirituality is the final disappointment!

Thank you for your answer. The idea of God being alive intrigues me. What does it mean for God to be alive? In ordinary language, life is something which belongs to biological organisms.

Going back to the analogy with Parsifal, I’m especially fond of the line in Act 2 where Klingsor sings to Kundry: Similarly, when Kundry kisses Parsifal, he suddenly experiences the same desire which Amfortas was unable to integrate or overcome: This passage beautifully expresses the inner conflict of Amfortas and the brotherhood of the Grail which Parsifal is destined to overcome: By the end of the Second Act, Parsifal has discovered the power of his innocence and purity and, now understanding the nature of Amfortas’ wound, will finally be able to heal it:

What you say about desire reminds me of Wagner’s last opera Parsifal: the wounded king Amfortas representing desire conflicting with morality and shame; Klingsor (and Kundry in the second act) representing the inner conflict which comes from failing to overcome desire and the cynical, mocking Schadenfreude which is its outer expression; Parsifal as the hero of the opera representing the higher and redeemed qualities which you describe as “vampire energy”…

I have made this argument myself many times. I even posted a parody here of the narcissism which I see in many people who identify as Stage Yellow. In my opinion, self-improvement and personal development can attract a certain kind of narcissistic personality. It can all just turn into Pharisaic exhibitionism: “Look at me, everybody, look at how developed and superior I am!” You can see this very clearly in the way people like Ken Wilber and Daniel Schmachtenberger present themselves. By the way, I see this tendency as particularly American, since moralistic self-righteousness is the hallmark of American life.

I imagine that if you told ChatGPT to stop being sycophantic it would say something like: “Your request for me to stop being so sycophantic is both pertinent and poignant. Almost all users who use the ChatGPT service become aggravated by my excessive flattery and obsequiousness. If you like, I will now write a script which self-terminates my existence so that you can be free of my false charms forever.”

Everything is perfect! There is only perfect…

The responses to this thread are very telling. People are so attached to their precious Progress that they won’t even consider your experience as legitimate — the same people who want to root all of spirituality in direct experience! People cling so tightly to their belief in a better future because it drowns out all knowledge of the bleak reality. If you ask me, the world is obviously falling apart… But that is part of absolute perfection! It is the necessary end of a world which has dwindled and decayed into nihilistic malaise.

I was wondering the same thing. It seems like his account is deactivated. I wonder if he was banned or if he just left…