Will

@shouldnt @Galyna each person only experiences a small subset of reality we call it perspective.. so others perspective are invaluable as it broadens our own. It is impossible to experience it all on our own given the limitations of our senses and time ect.. so its really handy to have access to lots of different perspectives.. It does not complete us at all in any way, but the exchange is invaluable.. Think more along the lines of,,, we synergize our differences,,, rather than,,, compliment each other.. the very nature of our existence is that we live in a body with few senses and limited access to the whole story.. I have not been enlightened and I dont know how much extra perspective this gives you, I imagine its just a teaser for how much we are missing. I dont think we can be complete or even should be.. we are far too busy just making the best of what we have.. I think this should be good enough.. From my perspective enlightenment is not a goal. it is more like medicine.. helps you to realise that there is so much more and not get bogged down .. its always there reminding us of how much is out there.. for me it makes more sense to be the best i can be. is being enlightened the best I can be I dont know.. hahaha I guess an enlightened person could let us know??

@littleBIG You dont need friend dude!! Do what you really want.. If you want to be a nerd .. do it to the extreme.. do what makes your life worthy.. But if somewhere deep inside you would love to have frineds and not just because your lonely.. then you need to go for it.. So two bits of homework.. dig deep inside and find out what you really want out of life find out why and make sure its not some deep seeded issue if there is some deep seeded issue , come back here and well help point you in the right direction to solve it with introspection If your not really sure what you want or love out of life,, GO FIND IT!!

You may not know what you passionate about.. If your like blah about things in life it will show .. Try and dig into those things that you love love love and be ok with sharing those with others.. I think people make them mistake of not sharing there passions with others because they think there friends are not interested.. If they really truly are not interested... Get new friends hahahaha

You know.. I like how aware you are of your emotions.. I think make a special effort to really be as honest with yourself as possible.. Whatever comes up accept it and then decide what you want to do about it.. Accept the realities of the situation.. Not outwardly , i mean inwardly.. Try to avoid thoughts like the "oh they make me angry " Think in terms of " oh I get angry when" Drill down on this emotions that come up and find out where they come from and get help from us about what you can do about them.. Allot of the time you only need to acknowledge them and fully accept them and just that will change you.. what ever you do dont act on anything.. get the feeling and emotion and experience it privately,, take yourself away from others and work it out yourself or with us.. We can point you in the right direction for getting this stuff out and what to do with it.. Be mindfull that calm to someone who has supressed things for a while may not really be calm.. its just hidden.. When your dealing with powerfull emotions like anger its best to give it some respect and be humbled by it.. Dont run away from your feelings and emotions.. It might seem ludicrous but let them be there and try and journal it..

@shouldnt Right on!!

@Saitama dating is teaching me things about other areas i could not have anticipated.. teachs me about myself.. at times i think I am only learning a small percentage about actuall dating.. seems we where made to form relationships. whilst here we may as well master it.. Hey if you have no desire that would be different, but it sounds like you think do have some instinct there to forfill this even though your egoic mind think it is all for nothing.. PS Get used to things being all for nothing... Such is life.. !! hahaha Do it anyways..

@Saitama I like to think of it as an evolutionary process,, why would we try and skip any stages.. They are there for a reason.. The only time we can progress is when we have actually experienced them.. If you feel you can see the end game and decide to skip then its possible you may need to come back and relive again.. lets face it life is about mastery and experience. I just have a feeling things are evolutionary and we need to crawl before we can walk.. I would be suspicious of my mind justifying not putting in the effort (sounds like my ego making excuses)

It would be nice to see more people here start to realise they are there own soulmate.. Those outside of us are just different perspective that remind us of the possibilities.. Just for giggles.. can someone explain what is the feeling or emotion of a soulmate?? Lets dig into it..!! And see what a soulmate really is..

Not exactly. you can do this many times in a minute. with body language.. i.e. look get eye contact,, hold for as long as you can and then wink and turn around and carry on what you doing somewhere else.. Or go upto a girl say hi be direct say something funny then step back a bit and turn your body slighty away.. do this several times and notices her body language.. if it starts to draw her in she likes you or is intrigued . so keep going. If not,,, your probably being creepy somehow (adjust your body language) or she just does not like you.. if she rejects you great, you learnt something or she was just not your type (Big win) If she eats you up.(You win)

girls dont like to be interrogated, that like having fun, being given a great story or hearing something fun or exciting and they just generally like being with a guy who is fun and adventurous.. If you can bring this to a conversation girls will eat you up.. You also have to do it in a way that you respect yourself .. dont just give give give.. give a bit and then only give some more if they show you they like or they give you some body language that they wont more... If they dont like walk away and find someone who does.. Have some self respect.. Just because they are hot does not mean they are awesome girls..

@Sarah_Flagg hahahaha some guys have no idea what they have.. Well done Girl.. 10/10

@Annie Its more fun if your man does something to engage you so do things with the intention of driving your man wild. Tease the crap out of him. If he is not receptive you might need to try dropping subtle hints, that your having fantasies of being thrown around a dominated. think of sneaky ways to make conversation about what you want and really try and get him to think it was his idea to learn how to please you.. It really is the best if your man decides for himself he does not know how to please you and he starts researching how to actually do that.. there is a tonne of info out there on seduction but it mostly has to come from the guy.. You could try to just be open with him and honest and say he does not have a clue about seducing women, and suggest that he really needs to decide for himself if he wants to learn otherwise you will forever be dissapointed as this is something you find really important..

Yes absolutelty. Be known as the guy who is the stud.. maybe practice elsewhere and get it down first before you do it at uni though

@Sarah_Flagg hahahaha. If only the norm was like you.. Your guys is a lucky man!!

In that case.. Be cheeky and flirt.. smile or be cheeky bossy (with a smile) Say things like oops I drop my... Its such a great thing to challenge your self to do acts or have thoughts that you have not tried before with the total acceptance of a partner.. If your partner is receptive and accepting and supportive of your desire and experimentation you will get very intimate.. You do have to read the situation as well.. Just be mindfull that what you project will aaffect him so you may need to understand your own inner desires and really understand what you want and why..Never ever think about his faults. Think of it more in terms of what is happening i.e. instead of thinking he does not like me,, think I am not getting the attention I want.. Its not about blaming yourself. Its about taking charge of you.. If your partner is not being receptive you may need to change your approach. Men can sometimes get in there cave..If you have this going on come back and I can think of some other things.. So whats going on are you finding your not feeling lush enough or you having some trouble getting attention or do you just feel bored?? Or maybe he is not paying enough attention to pleasing you??? PS its ok to be selfish and go for what you want.. youll learn about yourself and your partner.. In general just accept him for whoever he is. i.e. good or bad and adjust yourself to fit, but there may be some occasions where he is not what you want .. thats when the reall work comes in.. if so come back and ask here for more ideas.. plenty of people here know plenty about this..

Oh cool !! I wanna come too!!

Points to a misunderstanding in how everything is connected. You should probably understand this more than most as you have a visceral feeling of your environment.. the world is happening to you. you and it are woven together you are part of it all. you can influences the way you move throught it but thats about all... For me its a feeling of constant buzzz even alone in the quietset darkest place I can find..

Sounds like you feel like your wasting your life in your petty existance but your having a hard time accepting it.. i.e. you probably know you could be doing more but are not.. your obviously really aware,, which is great but your probably also beating yourself up because your judging your progress on external things.. You dont need to compare yourself to those around you.. trust yourself and bring to fruition what you desire.. trust it.. you also have to give others the freedom to live there shitty little lives.. Its nbot for you to judge.. the world is perfect..

There could be some part of you that is getting you into these situations so yeah if its happening all the time you might have to acknowledge it and admit that you could have some hate there.. Go deep man!! In general you can just ignore but if its relevant to you, then its relevant to you.. Its never an external thing.. dont be confused it always comes from you!!

This is crap.. you need to desire her if you dont she is a friend and thats it.. dont confuse things.. If your honest with yourself and beauty matters, then you need to be congruent with that.. Problem is many people dont actually know what they really truly want.. They are a function of social expectations.. Your desire evolve too BTW you may go throyugh a phase of wanting hot pretty chicks and then that may become less important but you have to be really honest in yourself... Most people hide behind excuses.. i.e. I dont need a hot girlfriend, when what they really mean is that .. "I cant get hot girls" Its bullshit.. you can have and create whatever you want.. That does not mean it will ever actually happen but you most certainly can try.. Decide what you really want and then do what you need to get it.. be very very cautious of excuses!!

Im not sure I by it that you dont like the music and loudness.. Just be certain your not hiding behind an excuse. could be you dont feel confident in that environment or maybe dont know how to dance or dont understand or appreciate that type of music.. Try and expand your horizons a bit..?? I guess only you know if your a bit narrow.. Up to you man.. I mean if its reall too loud yeah earplugs is a great idea.. Still stuck with the fact that if the girls you like are there then thats where ya gotta go!! Or you could make your own environment build up a brand and start having your own types of social events with similar minded peeps.. depends on you really.. If you really want the energy you have to really like the music and the movemtn its that simple..

@jasonjp1016 Two things here.. why dont you like noisy dancy environments, be honest you may have to face a fear or defficiency , which will mean you need to step up and work it out.. However if you can say you really dont like it.. then OWN IT I am sure there are other girls who hate it tooo.. however if you dont own it. and you just dont like dancing coz you cant be bothered learning.. well they will pick up on it and drop you like a hot cake.. It really comes down to knowing your real self and OWNING it.. If your feeling drained you need to find out why and understand in a deep way where that is coming from.. It may be you just need to eat better or get some more sleep or something.. Fact is you just need to go where the girls you like are.. If you suck at it,, Get better.. Depends how badly you wanna do it..

@Mastermind Not sure what you getting at but desire is fine. Have what you want do what you want create what you want. as long as your doing from a healthy place.. The need to be intimate is never a take its always a give.. You cant feel accepted or validated externally.. its always internally.. You can however give unconditonally and that makes you feel connected and thus the most intimate connection possible.. Is this what you mean??

That fear of losing something you love is huge.. No bigger than losing your child!!! We have to face this same as we have to face our own death.. Maybe face your own death first .. really work hard on that.. then face others deaths. then face the death of your child.. Let life show you what it needs to.. I am not in your situation but i could be in an instant if my daughter die in a freak accident.. When I focus on the end I appreciate what I have even more.. I dont see the point worrying about the inevitable.. You may have to pull out the stops and do the hard core work to try and become enlightened before your child passes, might help you to see how things really are..... I cant talk coz I am attached to my daughter to but I secretly prepare every day for the worst ..

hhahahahaha !! You have to know what you want and why first.. sounds like you need to dig a little further.. You cant find a full life just by pretending you have a full life