11modal11

@Ero also im saying that any "paradigm" of thinking i could do could not keep up with the paradigm im "percieving" if that makes sense

if anyhting this stuff has made me more psychopathic to an avg joe, beacuse acknowledging nonduality - i just want to freely play around with this field and manipulate it as self extension jsut like on my body i wanted to manipulate it to grow muscles or change hair color or somehting

@Ero wait thats why im confused. "Lower consciousness state" what does this have to do with enlightenment? This is what im asking essentially almost in a nutshell. Even if I perceive nonduality everything is ultimately anextension of self, but why would that place limits on how i engage with it?

@Ero lol sorry

or even more clearly, i shift in an out of engaging with the world more like a person but when i choose to engange as a person my engagement is very selfish. i studied a lot of bentinho massaro for a year and practice what he calls true simultaneity, so while ultimately i see reality as this field, then i go back into person world consciousness, but my person is very...douchey.. lol

@Ero i dont know really what a paradigm is lol. here i think what the confusion is, is that my perception is one way but my thinking is very different. so what im perciving is this field of osscilation, but i dont feel like a "good person" in any sese i dont even feel that i am really a person anymore. but a lot of the posts on here are baout being a "better person" and people tie that in with enlightment so noe i am confused as to what that is. id say i feel like a "concentration"

@Ero if your saying it has literally nothing to do with thinking and has to do with breaking reality down then i understand. that is not what most people say esp. on this particular forum.

to be most accurate i percieve no things or people only this field densifying as "people or things" like i literally see this

what im seeings seems a lot closer to "god mode". Nothing I think seems like "stage turquoise" these thoughts are those of a selfish asshole lmao.

@Ero no i see a field, i dont see any people with egos, im saying thats what people on this forum are saying which is confusing me. people on this forum say "oh ego this ego that". Or "an enlightened person thinks this or that or is at stage turquoise im saying i only see an osscilaitng field of vibration as "reality" - wtf is an ego im confused now.

@Ero I understand what you're saying. Currently my paradigm is I am literally perceiving reality as this field of oscillation. As in this is what i seen. There is obviously no seperation - It is this happening, this movement or dance so to speak. I have no issue with noduality, i clearly experince this at every second. The confusion that was had was all of the posts saying "enlightened person would do x. etc. or when spiral dynamics get thrown into the mix an all this talk of love and green thinking blah blah. it seems to muddy what i could actually realize with confusion.

also what is an ego? and if you say its not real, then no one has an ego, so you cant even say youve met someone with an ego so your other statement is invalid, and if you say they only believe they have an ego but its not real. then who is they and how can they be a they and you be a you, and why is your definition of real correct? why isnt an ego real then, if one can say they are the arbiter of real then anything can be real or not real depending on perspective, but whos perspective if no one allegedly?

@NoSelfSelf You're not saying anything...i still dont understand...a label to point to who i am? what am i pointing to? why is this definition of what an who i am better than any other that sounds like unelightenment. enlightenment sound like some arbitrary label for who i am. why would that be me automatically as opposed to anything else? your description is contradictory it doesn't make any sense.

@NoSelfSelf what is "an ego"? even that is unclear

@NoSelfSelf and if you define "Ego" as any sense of self whatsoever, how can you say "I" how can even type this post? "no self self" that doens't even make sense - your identifying with a negative, that is still an identity. and if you identify with everything than your ego or identiy is "everything" When i try to remove all sense of self i do not feel happy, i feel extremely confused, stressed and like a solipsist and I cant talk to anyone. Like a dumb mute. That is not happiness to me.

@NoSelfSelf dude i learned about ego when i was like 12, anyone who thinks they "Are" their stories is a moron. And obviously i didnt think i was ONLY my body/mind if i was having mystical experiences like i described - clearly something more is going on. But even after your post i still dont get it. I get oh yeah everything is god, ok yeah obviosuly, and clearly from direct experience i have some metaphysical stuff going on, but WTF is enlightenment Leo says it is none of that, Sadguru describes an experience, Hawkins says its vibration. No one has the seemingly same definition for this, and all these seeming rules and posts on here just make me confused and stressed esp when spiral ddynamics comes into play, what stage would my behavior even be again? and most importantly again WTF is enlightenment in a clear succinct way?

@11modal11 also wtf "stage" would this behavior even be? red? going for mystical experiences and favorite choices of life to indulge in every day? I had exhibited both orange and green in hs, so is it even possible to revert to red without reach stage 2?

and i was extrmely selfish. i was probably the most selfish person you'd ever meet. I only cared about my own personal hapiness which pretty much involved riding around the city on my bike going to the park, listing to my favorite music and talking to random people and reading books at the library, accumulating as many mystical experiences as i could, and drinking lots of coffee. I cared zero about anyone else, i thought zero about anyone else. I was in my own fantasy world, it was amazing. Again now i am just stressed and confused. and enlightenment seemed interesting, so before i say fuck it and give it up and go back to doing what i described which was generally whatever i felt like doing at each moment which felt amazing 24/7 , i would like a clear succinct definition of WTF this actually is. Leos is very conceptual and I do not understand. Also It differs greatly from Sadhgurus and others which i heard in a video which sounds like a state. Leo said its not a state. and Hawkins says something completely different also, its vibration. In that case I was way closer before.

@Ero Can someone PLEASE explain to me WTF enlightenment is then in a in clear succinct way. Before I came across this concept i was feeling unbelieveably amazing every day living in the moment and doing pretty much whatever i felt like each second then i stated noticing all these weird things happening like syncronicites etc almost like reality was cuing my preferences for me. I would think something and it would appear in some way, or I'd meet a person who liked all the same stuff as me. I was also having all these mystical experiences like percieving reality as a vibrating field and perciving energies and stuff that would seem paranormal It was crazy so I started researching the law of attraction, spirituality, vibrations then eventually enlightenment. Then I started on this forum and now I am just confused and stressed all the time thinking that i'm not supposed to be happy and that i'm supposed to suppress myself and disengage with life and just sit there all day in discipline and become a solpsist with no identity and reach stage turqiose. I am now just constantly confused. Please WTF is Enlightenment.

It almost looks like a "light twister" like a mini tornado but everywhere

My every moment perception of reality has now moved into what I can only describe as an "oscillating field of movement" thats really the only description I have for it. Does anyone else have this experience? Is there any information on this?

That will also mark the day that this Leo concept, this idea, some illusion, has finally begun the transition into the Coral vMeme dun, dun, dun....

Ultimately, I can't wait to see the day that "no one" "writes" this "book" concept so when that nothing is delivered to you when your illusory money goes to the illusory bank account of the illusion you've created for yourself you call Leo it doesn't matter, because you are already God, you already have it all, nothing ever happened ;).

Neither of you "have clothes" in this specific debate Leo is making an assumption that just because something is his concept of an "illusion" or "illusory" it is not "real." Whether something is "real" or not is based on the defined concept of "real." In the situation. Just because something is an illusion also does not mean its "not real." What is real is a point of view including the existence of Leo. Also Leo could be said to be God or God to be leo or leo can only be god when there is no leo communicating from one perspective or leo is always god from another by mere fact of existing with no seperation "of which we know", but ultimately this "real" or "not real" neither of these are ever correct inherently hence nonduality. Every single thought and perception can be real if it fits your definition, Your ego can totally be real if it fits your definition of real, etc. Nothing is inherently "real' or "not real" because it is a concept itself. No label can be utilized ultimately, neither this nor that. YOU CHOOSE what is "REAL." That very well may be "an Illusion" to Not Leo or No one but its Real to you unquestionably. Once "real" is involved, becuase it is a concept means that it is up to interpretation, so to say "this is not real" OR "an illusion is not real" or "because somthing is "an illusion" - a concept i am defining it is not real" is definitely not absolute, along with "this is real."

@Saumaya haha yes i am agreeing with you completely