Artimus

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Everything posted by Artimus

  1. Hey everyone. I've been gone for a little while now. So much has been happening... First off, thank you all for your advise in my last post. Things have been tough but I took everything to heart and have been trying to work on myself. I found a small therapy clinic in my town that is run through a local church. It's been a pretty big help with a lot for me. So it's been a few crazy weeks since my last post... I blocked my ex from my phone and have just been avoiding any situations to run into him. Things seemed to be going alright for a while. My parents both had to work late about a week ago and so I was just chilling at home and he just shows up.. I tried to tell him to leave. That it wasn't okay for him to be here anymore.. and he just tackled me down and started rubbing all over me.... I could smell nothing but beer on him.. I was able to finally get out from under him and run out the door to my neighbors house. They called the cops... So now my parents are pushing to press charges.. and I don't know how to feel about it... I feel bad for him... I still love him deep down.. I know what he did was stupid.. but is it really worth all of this again... I tried to tell my parents to give him a chance to get better and they just lashed out at me and said that I was sick.. am I? I just don't know what to do...
  2. @zoey101 @Jamie Universe thank you. I'll be moving to my aunt's this weekend.. I don't know what will happen.. but I'm trying to stay open to it all..
  3. @zoey101 thank you I love yours too!
  4. @Arman lol not sure what to tell you I loved the style so this is how I look. @Solace Thank you
  5. @RichardY @zoey101 Thank you guys. I have given things some time to settle down and allowed myself to do the same. I told my parents I'll go to my aunts house so that I can work through these crazy emotions away from all of this madness. My parents are set on perusing the charges... It hurts... but I'm going to just let things work out however they will.
  6. What do you mean? I guess I'll consider leaving... Maybe if I'm not around, that whole family can heal... I don't get what made things turn out like this... Doesn't really seem fair.. I'm only 17... I just want things to be normal...
  7. My parents are pressing charges on him... God I hate how messed up I feel.. I know he was wrong but I feel like this is all because of his brother... I don't want him to end up like his brother... My parents are pissed at me because of how I've been feeling... They said they are considering sending me to stay at my aunts house... I heard them fighting about it and my dad thinks that I am sick... Am I wrong for feeling like this? I feel like there is more to all of this than what they are seeing... But am I just insane..?
  8. Hello, my name is Artimus. I feel like I have done something aweful and single handedly ruined a family... I was dating this really sweet guy for almost 6 months, and about a year ago, I was at a party with him at his house and everyone got drunk and was being stupid... I was looking for Nathan but I couldn't find him. I walked into his room and his brother was in there. I asked him if he saw Nathan and he just stared at me, so I just went to leave.. he grabbed me and forced me in the room... He raped me and then just left... When I got my strength back I just left the house and went straight to the police... They went to the house and arrested him infront of everyone that was still there... When Nathan finally found out what happened he was destroyed... we broke up... But we still talked every once in a while.. About a month ago he called me one night and just started screaming at me.... He said I ruined his family... That if it wasn't for me his brother would still be there, his mom wouldn't be depressed all the time and his dad wouldn't be an alchoholic.... I couldn't understand why he would say that shit to me... I didn't ask for this... I haven't been able to sleep... I can't get his words out of my head... I feel so guilty... I didn't want to hurt him... But he says I ruined everything.... I feel despicable...
  9. Thank you guys. I'm just trying to stay away from everything for a little bit.. I need time to breath and get my thoughts straight.
  10. @Karin12414 Thank you. I read your posts and I admire just how far you have come and how strong you are able to be despite that time... I would love to talk and get stronger. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
  11. Thank you guys. I told him that I don't want him to call me anymore and blocked his number. I talked to my mom about it, and she said that if I want to go to therapy I can, so we are looking for someone.... I know I need to stop worrying about him and his family.. I would never do anything to hurt them... It was his brother and he should be mad at him.. not me... I just wish things could be different..
  12. @Nahm I'm sorry for complaining... I really don't know what I want to do... all I can think of that i'm any good at is drawing... but I don't see me making a career from just that... I don't know... I'll stop bothering you all though.. I'm sorry...
  13. How..? I won't talk to any of them anymore... But idk what to do...
  14. Thank you guys.. I feel so conflicted.... He called me again last night... I think he was drunk... He said a lot of stupid shit... He kept calling me a slut.... And a liar... Then he kept telling me to go over there so that we could fuck.. "c'mon, it's not like you haven't done it yet! What? Do you not think I'll be as good as my brother?" I can't stop hearing him say that.... I feel so sick.... I told him not to call me anymore... I didn't want any of this shit to happen... He was so loving before.... Not he just hates me....
  15. @RichardY He said that I could have not told the cops and split up his family.... He said his parents are hurting bad... He was a really great person before this... The sweetest guy I knew... I know it was his brother... But my heart is so broken over hurting him... I can't believe he can hate me so much....
  16. I don't know... Nathan said it was my fault... He is really hurting... But I know I didn't ask for this shit... But he said I didn't have to tell the cops... I feel like I did what I was supposed to... But it wasn't supposed to hurt him... And now he hates me... I feel like shit for it...
  17. I'm sorry... I don't understand what you are saying...