Deziree

You have to take loyalty into account. In friendships there's no loyalty. But a relationship is iike a contract, you are allowed to be legally loyal to your partner or it could be grounds for divorce. This has been in built as a social structure since centuries. Nothing oogabooga about this. All relationships, even the "normal" ones, involve power dynamics, projections, triggers, and the negotiation of individual needs versus collective well-being. The difference lies in how these are managed and whether they lead to growth or destruction. The "deep mechanisms" you saod, the search for security, connection, development, and even the "oogabooga", are present across the spectrum of human relationships, but their manifestation and outcomes vary wildly based on individual health, communication skills, and the presence of pathology. It seems we crave these relationships because they uniquely satisfy a confluence of our most fundamental human needs, for security, belonging, intimacy, and personal evolution, all within a framework that often aligns with societal expectations and biological imperatives.What aspects of this resonate most with your "yellow perspective," or what further questions does this spark for you?

This is like asking why we need wifi. Really good points on the strength of relationships. One of the most profound mechanisms at play is the craving for emotional security and co-regulation. In a healthy long-term partnership, people often find a sense of safety and predictability. When one partner is stressed or upset, the other can provide comfort and help regulate their emotions. This creates a feedback loop of support that reduces anxiety and fosters a sense of well-being. It's about having a safe harbor in a sometimes turbulent world. As children we need parents, as adults we need partners. Partners are definitely a lot more than just friends. Friends can never ever give you that intimacy you're looking for. Humans also seek to create shared meaning and a shared life trajectory. A long-term partnership allows for the building of a joint future, shared experiences, traditions, and a common narrative. This collective identity can provide a profound sense of purpose and belonging that goes beyond individual aspirations. It's about building a life together, which can feel more robust and meaningful than building one alone. From an attachment theory perspective, early childhood experiences with caregivers shape our "attachment styles" (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized). We often unconsciously seek out partners who help us replay, and hopefully, resolve, early attachment patterns. For those with secure attachment, partnerships offer a space for continued secure connection. For others, a healthy long-term partnership can actually provide a corrective emotional experience, helping to build a more secure attachment style over time. It highly depends what you are seeking in a relationship.

Some of my musings (from one note) This is your time. The knight has arrived in full armor. You are a living, breathing, human being that deserves to connect with how the air feels right now, warm or cool, how the scents filter in through the window or how the steam rises in swirls from a mug of tea. Breathe in now and grant yourself this time to integrate your experiences from the day into your growing body of wisdom. Stanford Professor BJ Fogg writes, "In order to design successful habits and change your behaviors, you should do three things: Stop judging yourself Take your aspirations and break them down into tiny behaviors Embrace mistakes as discoveries and use them to move forward." Now that the day is behind you, take a deep breath and think back to anything that felt even a little bit like a mistake today. Breathe in and see if you can let the judgement go. Rest with it a while. Let your body relax as you welcome kindness into your bones. Notice compassion sinking in where tension used to be. The musician Patti Smith wrote, "The transformation of the heart is a wondrous thing, no matter how you land there." What if you brought curiosity to anything that didn't go your way. What is the real message you have for yourself? What is the feeling that still lingers? Is it a residue of frustration? Shame? Anger? Embarrassment? Ego? If so, speak to that part of you with kindness. Ask what it would do differently? You are always the victor if you are learning. If solutions emerge, just break them down into their tiniest pieces. There's nothing you need to do right now but rest. Breathe deeply. Notice, it is not only your habits that are changing. You are developing the habit to look straight into the heart of difficulty and use it to move forward. These are the treasures you are discovering along your fabulous path.

Note 1 (from my OneNote) Think back to the last time you felt frustrated with yourself. Was there a voice of negative self talk you heard inside your own head? There is a secret in that voice, and it is time that secret is revealed. Martin Luther King once wrote, "There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love." If you feel down on yourself, might that just mean: you believe in yourself? Look at those disappointments of yours. Bring your frustrations out of the shadows. Shine a really bright light on them here in the Fabulous world, where it is safe to get a really good look at them. One is never upset that pets do not speak French. They never could. So there is no frustration to feel. If you knew you weren't capable, you might not feel disappointed at all. But maybe, in truth, we do know what we are made of. We know what we deserve. Maybe the deep disappointment only exists because there is deep love. And belief. And strength that has been hiding. Maybe that frustration is proof that you know you can do it, all those hopes of yours. Now is the time to galvanize that negative energy and befriend it. Mark its good intention, but don't let it run away down an endless spiral. Redirect next time. Remind it of the path you're already on here in this fabulous world. Let that despair feel some relief that you are tending to those hopes. Maybe that's what it wanted all along.

This does seem like a religious post. But anyway, goodluck on your way. Hope you find what you're looking for.

If reality was not structured this way, over time eventually everything would get so corrupt that the universe would turn into a grotesque abomination, a monstrous sphere of unimaginable corruption that would fly apart from incoherence and disorder. The purity of Truth is the mechanism by which all corruption, all evil, is cleansed from the system. How does God cleanse corruption? By annihilating you along with your corruption inside itself. You die and become Nothing. This wipes the slate clean of your bad habits and evil ways, healing you in perfect wholeness. When you die you are reabsorbed into God, into an infinite ocean of Love that annihilates everything, including of course your sense of self. You become annihilation itself. You are the very corruption that needs to be cleansed in order for the Universe to maintain its health. When you die, you become Infinite Truth. From this place of perfect purity you can be reborn as an innocent child, ready to get corrupted all over again. Death is God’s washing machine for dirty minds. Your mind gets dirty enough, God kills you, washes you in Infinite Truth, then throws you back into the game. In this way God’s purity remains Eternal and the fly-wheel can keep turning forever. Nothing ever touches the Source except Nothing itself. This ensures that God remains eternally spotless. Pure Infinite Truth. Endless.

Kindness speaking to myself - saying this. Will you notice that crack in the cement now that the daylight shines upon it. Will you observe the light between the blades of green grass? The next person you see, will you pause to remember you can only see a tiny fraction of their complex existence? It is in that moment that an opportunity exists for kindness.

It still exists. As you travel through the fabulous world, with its huge moons sitting just on top of the horizon, you will come across these moments that offer pause. Seneca wrote, "Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness." Sleep now so that you will be rested for the unknown opportunities that await you.

Kindness speaking to myself - saying this. The night flips a switch. The same places you knew by day, for the next few hours, all exist in shadow. Every tiny crack in the cement you stepped over.. the steps between blades of grass.. they spend equal time in darkness as they do in light. People, too, have a side you can see and a side you cannot. In his book Happy : Why more or less Everything is Absolutely Fine, Derren Brown states, "we are terrible at reading each other's thoughts. Yet we consistently behave as if we have been endowed with this entirely handsome ability." It is a thought he has mulled for some time. Seven years before the book's publication, he wrote, "Each of us is leading a difficult life, and when we meet people we are seeing only a tiny part of the thinnest veneer of their complex, troubled existences. To practice anything other than kindness towards them, to treat them in any way, save generously, is to quietly deny their humanity." As you rest tonight, breathe in and imagine every little thing you saw today as it must look right now. What was once bright is now cast in the dim of this moment. But you know it is there.

I'm still trying to figure out the root of truth. The foundation of truth. Truth is based on something obviously.

Leo made a post about survival and truth etc. It resonates a lot. I really want to go over that post again and again. It made a lot of sense. But unfortunately I couldn't get through it enough because I was limited in my capacity. I want to study it though thoroughly as it made a lot of sense to me. Truth seeking is definitely an endeavor I wish to be invested in long term. But then there are obstacles to it. I think the biggest obstacle is surviving itself. If we are living as meager as we can, how can we handle the truth alongside reality. Maybe some other day I'll reflect back on this same thing. What is the root of truth? And why we don't actively pursue it? For now it's just bread and butter and survival at its best.

Maybe. I think the OP meant regular porn. The porn you're referring to might not be consumed by the majority statistically speaking. I didn't vote for that.

I voted a net positive. Does it reduce the rate of rapes? Who knows. Great points by that neuroscientist.

I'm a bit confused about the current state of affairs tbh. I want to collect all of my physiological and psychological stuff together. Currently I do a lot of meditation, evening and morning walks in between the hospital visits. It's like life comes with different stamps and you're the creator of your own life. I also want to have some entertainment programmed into my life. I don't want my life to be just a cheap thing. Make better decisions every time. Don't be stuck.

So it's time to go over my life once again. Things are going slow. I'm battling an infection and the doctor prescribed me antibiotics. I'm not that great at raw survival. I have to struggle a lot before I make measurable progress. I'm not going to divulge into a lot of the things. I want to protect my internal state. Start with a fresh new slate. Social media has been ruining my life a bit and I'm thinking about controlling it as much as possible.

This video makes me very sad. Sad days. One person attacking another and having a probability of losing their career. How strange. Cancel culture at its finest. I'm glad the tide is slowly turning. Reality is whipping itself. Some people can see through the bullshit clearly. Victim hood doesn't pay forever. I mean at some point this had to come to a halt. At some point it goes beyond what's manageable. Most unlikable obnoxious self proclaimed victims that feel entitled to damage someone's career.. I think the video illumined a lot of what was going on in my mind about the cancel culture rhetoric. You cannot be British and just not want to be proud. We never wish bad on anyone. Safe trip back. We should never in fact. So he handled it right. I hate how overly sensitive society has become. The security guard of your building works very hard so that you feel safe. Some people just cannot be grateful enough.

Yes. We live in society. The baggage we have to deal with is social survival. If anyone wishes to avoid this, they would have to be living in a remote cave somewhere. That is survival too but I'm not sure what it would look like, probably simplicity. Sophistication of technology and evolution comes from a cohesive society that has norms and a structure designed for competition, progress and survival. Why are we researching ways to cure cancer? We wouldn't be doing that in a cave because we wouldn't need to. Social empathy drives collective progress. Self deception yes. Pure truth no. Living among humans has a price to pay just like living as a chimp among chimps. We are pigs. Yes we are capable of much more than pigs. But at our core being, we cannot escape the pig matrix, aka being an animal that mates and reproduces for continuity aka survival. This is a 100% true. But dealing with shit all your life itself is life. That shit you're soaked in is the truth of the nature of reality. You have the benefit of living with social civilization and the conditioning is the added baggage that goes with it. It's like living in a cage of lions. You might get food to eat in the cage but you also have to fight lions. This implicit baggage applies to almost every aspect of life and living. You can minimize this baggage though as much as you want to, to your degree of convenience, as in living on the fringe. True. You get social survival in exchange. Yes. Politics is survival of the common man. That's why politics is so polarizing, it cannot be neutral. Politics is hard core in fact. There is nothing soft about politics. That's why the elite don't care about it as the outcomes of political situations don't affect them financially. Politics is appealing to the lowest common denominator because their survival hinges on it. I mean you cannot be a pig and not be roiled in shit at the same time. Truth is separated from self deception but truth alone cannot survive on its own.

Social survival also aids physical survival and physical survival aids social survival. I don't understand how anyone can miss this essential link.

Absolutely!

(first off you made really good points) living a completely ethical life is practically impossible due to interconnected global systems. it's nearly impossible to live a life free from complicity in these harmful systems, even for those who strive for ethical consumption. It is fairly understandable that empathy conflicts with truth on a foundational and ethical level or let's say the other way around, that truth conflicts with empathy in lieu of survival. I agree that it's nearly impossible to be completely 'pure' in our consumption, and that many forms of suffering are indeed out of sight, out of mind for most of us. I acknowledge all your points while defending my stance on empathy versus truth. I'm just saying that it's a bit more nuanced than truth is brutal for survival because empathy is woven even into this brutality. You might say that these electronic chips needed child labor but what if these same mobile phones were used in emergency services saving lives calling ambulances. Do you see this as empathy in motion? Truth might be brutal but empathy is not just about feelings. If a life is saved, this is empathy in action and this action is survival too. Do you look at it with this perspective? However, I don't think acknowledging these realities necessarily negates the importance of striving for empathy or for reducing brutality where we can. While brutality might always be a potential in human nature or within global systems, the degree to which it's expressed and tolerated is precisely what we have some agency over. My point about brutality being 'phased out or replaced' wasn't to say it disappears entirely, but rather that societies can and do evolve to diminish its overt forms and establish norms that condemn it. The fact that we even discuss and deplore child labor or environmental destruction, for example, is a testament to an evolving empathy, even if the systems haven't caught up. Do you consider this? Just trying to add a bit of mine to your perspective as well. I basically agree with you wholeheartedly but adding a bit of nuance where empathy is concerned. Perhaps the 'truth' you speak of and the 'empathy' I talk about here aren't mutually exclusive. Empathy can be a powerful motivator for seeking out those uncomfortable truths and then working to change the systems that perpetuate them. It's about finding a balance between acknowledging the harsh realities and not becoming paralyzed by them, instead channeling that awareness into action, however small. The alternative—accepting brutality as an unchangeable constant—feels like a more dangerous reductionism to me. So how about enmeshing both. To some degree both go hand in hand. With survival surplus as you said, we begin to think of empathy more and more at the top of the chain. What I'm suggesting is that empathy isn't just about feeling good, but about driving change. Positive change like technology that helps disabled people operate better? The fact that we can even have this conversation, that there are movements dedicated to ethical sourcing, environmental protection, or human rights, suggests a collective moral evolution, however slow and imperfect. This evolution, I believe, is fundamentally driven by empathy, by our ability to recognize and respond to the suffering of others, even if they are distant. My argument wasn't that brutality vanishes, but that our societal response to it can change. The 'dormant' brutality you mention is precisely what empathy seeks to expose and, ideally, diminish. The "truth" you're highlighting, while painful, can also serve as a catalyst for greater empathy and, consequently, more informed action. If we accept the 'cost of truth' as simply being harsh without any call to action, then what's the point of uncovering it? For me, the discomfort that truth brings should fuel our desire to mitigate harm, not lead to resignation. That's what I meant. Of course I don't condemn brutality, in a more moralistic frame, yes, but fundamentally our survival is connected with brutality but love and empathy are core components of driving change to accommodate max survival I'd what I meant.

Good points. But there's always a but. You can't survive without empathy. This is also a truth. I understand that the core mechanism is brutal. That's how nature designs it. This is a very reductionist evolutionary pattern of thinking, the cavemen, hunter-gatherer nomad reductionist type. Stage red survival is very typical but it evens out as more empathy begins to seep in, as in collective consciousness, yes it takes time but it has to start somewhere, it's very threatening to the survival impulse because the brain is programmed that way through eons of evolutionary patterns of survival and is deeply rooted in conflict. But. Where's the but here. Truth exists on multiple levels of reality, as you said. You can have the truth of collective cohesive survival or you can have the truth of individual survival. Collective survival truths will clash against individual survival. So it's not the matter of truth, it's about how relative that truth really is. Your explanation is birthed somewhat from Maslow's Heirarchy of needs. It slowly gets replaced by higher consciousness broad spectrum.

Wasn't truth less about survival and more about leading to God or am I missing something?

I have to look into productivity apps.

Haha😂 omg. Dude you click.

I think I will need to jump on the bandwagon of elitist mindset, that in some way I'm someone special to neutralize the feelings of being made to feel like an outcast, it's just hard to deal with everyday, it's like I have to become more biased myself in order to deal and cope with biases floating around me. I was a victim of biases after all. It matters who is victimized. It matters who is being oppressed. I'll later feed this into chatgpt.