Sob, Sob. I'm not going crazy but it's obvious I'm all there is and I'm doing all this. I'm crying now because I'm seeing how it's all me. I'm writing this only to not go mad and to keep the shit going. I need to. Or else i will go mad. I wish I never read  some of the shit i read. I wish I never experienced some of the shit i experienced. It's obvious I've never done anything in my life. It's obvious there is no me. It's obvious I'm fish in water. It's obvious I know nothing,  It's obvious I'm trying to articulate my message with precision, so I can feel like I'm writing to someone to read. It's obvious I'm doing all this and I'm not. It' so fucking obvious.  You will comment and you will ask if I'm ok but it's so obvious. P.S. I just need time to process or not process this, so ill pretend as if I'm here or not here and go to sleep and deal with your comments or my own mind later tomorrow. Going to sleep or whatever now. I don't even know what to write. I feel funny writing to myself knowing I'm playing this fucking game with myself. Tomorrow you'all.