My past experience: I did 0.5 grams shroom for the first time when i was 18. After that i have increased the dose from 0.7g, 1g, and 2g. Now 21 year old i did 3.5 gram shroom.  I decided to do 30 min of do-nothing meditation before my trip. I ate 3.5 shroom. The effects kicked in 30 min and I started to get bright colors everywhere and mild visuals. I was sitting outside in a comfortable chair watching the clouds and the sundown. I was very happy and at peace just watching the clouds breathing and morphing.  Unfortunately this did not last long before my mind started to go down the path of insanity. So after like 20 min i started to get thoughts just going on loop over and over again. At first I tried to just let go of my thoughts, but it only got worse. So I started to get frustrated that I was not in control. It started to feel like the do-nothing meditation on crack. My thoughts were like going at 1.5x speed. I have a small supposition that the 30 min of do-nothing meditation was the cause of the bad trip. It would only get worse as consciousness started to get more fluid. My thoughts started to feel more real. Where the duality between reality and thoughts started to break down. My thoughts went from normal stuff to more extreme things like violence. Thoughts about killing people, torture, hell and just terrible bloody thoughts. Then it just went down in a spiral where they would go on loop for what seems like forever. Whenever i would try to distract myself with music or try to control my thoughts it would just drag me further down the spiral of evil and devilry. My old personality was forgotten and replaced with the devil. I started to say stuff to myself: “This is not me, I would never harm anyone” I started to fear myself. I did no longer trust myself so i decided to stay put and not move. I was afraid I would do something stupid in public. I could hardly recognize myself anymore of what I have become. It was like i became a different person. Now here is the scary part. In this altered state of consciousness I really started to believe I was the devil and i enjoyed being the devil. That I am meant to inflict pain and suffering on others. It felt like being the devil was the only thing I knew. There was no empathy, no love, only darkness and insanity. I just staretd to laugh so hard, since i knew i had lost my mind. Now on my peak of the trip things started to just get weirder. My thoughts started to morph. They took on nonsensical forms and different dimensions. It's difficult to explain. I was so overwhelmed to the point of insanity. I started to feel like i was losing my fuking mind. I would even start to have auditory hallucinations. I know someone is just going to say “its just thoughts don't worry about it, just let it go or whatever”, but in this state you really can't use logic. All logic and social conditioning goes out the window on shrooms. Logic is just imaginary. I could see how consciousness stretches into many different forms and how fluid It can get on shrooms.  I am still not truly able to even understand my own trip. I am having difficulty even remembering my trip sober. Since nothing really made any sense, it was all just a bunch of random forms and thoughts. Anyone else got this? I always thought psychedelics was suppose to show love, infinity, ego death, beauty and god. I guess i was wrong. It was like this trip showed me the darkest part of myself. I only took 3.5 grams so I knew the trip would end so I had no choice, but to ride out my insanity until my trip started to end. This was definitely a bad trip, but deep down i kinda also enjoyed this suffering. I was fine the next morning, nothing too traumatizing. I have experience much worse trip on weed then on shrooms.