I am still so much tripping rn that I will not remember this later, so, I basically talked myself into a compelte terror before the trip, and then over the span of the trip Valerie showed me the fabric of fear itself and that I am literally creating all of it. The terror is literally fear of nothing, it's just fear. Like the color red.   On another note, reality completely merged into one substance. Music, my thoughts, imagery, it feels like one thick, gooyed substance that I can scoop around, and I can shape it literally with my pencil. I was taught that, the intention, the idea of reality, the supposed terror, the bad trip, those were just figments, and that's all that exists. So, if I want absolute terror and fear, that's what I will have, I can just create it with my pencil. I am in a complete, controlless control. Everything feels so completely imbued with meaning, and as I write this it feels like the music is flowing through the visual-mind-substance or whatever.   Anyways I just wanted to give you guys a quick update, which somehow pulled me into this sharade. But ye I am still tripping balls.