This is a very important point. I've always observed this with myself that it I find a man as "the man," I am kinda nervous to test him. I feel I might lose him as you say.  Maybe one of the reasons why women fall in this trap and end up suffering, they never tested him because they thought he was the top G, classic trap for manipulative relationships.  I'll note down your valuable insight because it's a trap/mistake I don't want to make again. Self awareness of one's own mental traps.