All the love you need is within you, of course. Where else would it be? You are the only one that can understand and love yourself completely, because you are yourself. You're just using other people as a proxy to feel bad about yourself, but in the end, it's YOU deciding that you should feel bad because someone thinks a certain way. There is no reason for you to delegate your self-worth to what other people think, it is just an arbitrary survival mechanism you have unwittingly taken on. Reclaim your authority. The only one who can judge is YOURSELF. ITS ALL YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. You judge yourself for being judged by others. You judge yourself for being spited by ignorant people. You use other people as an excuse to feel bad about yourself. This is the real tragedy. Learn to love yourself. You know yourself better than anyone because you are you, and you know that you deserve love, so love yourself. Give yourself permission to do that much at least. You can literally decide to love and accept yourself right now, but you feel resistance because your ego desperately wants to cling to the game you've created. You can be less messy and less ugly. You can strive towards better versions of yourself. Just don't delude yourself into thinking you can fully control people's minds and perception of you in the process. Even after improving yourself there are going to be people who think you haven't improved at all, and you need to be ok with that instead of trying to manipulate what they think of you. This isn't even a bad thing. This weeds out people you wouldn't want in your life. It gets rid of people who are unable to accept you. It gets rid of people who are unable to mesh with you. It's a natural filtering system. If you are constantly trying to maintain a false image in order to keep your status in some group, it is a parasitic relationship because it makes you suffer needlessly, and it will eventually fall apart because it is based on falsehood. You're being too clingy, just learn to love yourself without all the extra trouble and baggage, go straight to the source which is YOU.