Since elementary school I've only wanted one single thing in my life: A girlfriend. 16 years later: Absolutely nothing has happened there. Last summer I was so depressed that there were only two chocies: Start doing pickup and all that, or kill myself. Unfortunately I chose the first. Since then my life has been a nightmare so bad I didn't even know it was possible. I've been on around 40 dates and every single one of them just end with a message the following day where they say they didn't feel the chemistry. Right now I've just had the worst night of my life, where not a single girl at the club I was at wanted to talk to me, and I probably approached around 30 of them. So far this year: All food tastes like ash and it has become so difficult to work out that I give up most of the workouts. I really wish I was dead. The only thing that keeps me alive is that I care too much about my immediate family to commit suicide. Now what?