I feel a bit suffocated and stymied with my femininity. I see males  around me are quite active, assertive and dominant. They take quick decisions. They are good at cutting down too much fluff and emotion whereas I'm more like " girl crying into pillow not wanting to leave bed." I kinda admire the cutthroat masculinity in males. Of course I love my graceful chaotic femininity, yet it is not helpful with achieving goals. I see masculine people doing better with goals. My submissive female instinct causes me to surrender very quickly(imagine feminine sexual surrender). This makes me passive, submissive,docile but also less strict. I always imagine I  feel the need of a man(masculine figure/archetype) holding a whip and acting strict/disciplinary to make me do things. My submissiveness craves dominance to complete aspects that lack in dominance in my psyche. I wanna achieve this on my own and integrate things that I lack. I remember months ago Emerald(from Diamond Net) did my tarot reading and told me that I need to become more masculine or add masculine aspects to myself. She was right on the money.. As a strong feminine, I feel very comfy, girly girly and less purpose driven(please I don't want to sound sexist, so please don't make my thread into "I'm sexist" nonsense, I'm just trying to be honest about how I feel as a woman).  So I wanna ask - how to be more masculine ? Additional information (added later)- I need to cultivate masculinity but finding it difficult because I don't naturally posses it. I have always been surrounded by females. I never talk much to men. So I'm kinda closed off to their masculinity.  There is no male in my life right now. I think having a male helps with such things. To have some influence. Like whenever I'm surrounded by many men, I watch them, learn from them and I feel motivated to do better, I try to rub their qualities on me little bit, generally dominant males help me achieve this. Also the men that I allow in my friends circle are feminine tame gay type men because if I allow those masculine dudes, they will quickly try to get sexual with me. So there's an inherent "fight off" feeling with such men and I don't allow them to be my friends. I kinda push them out to avoid sexual tension. I only allow the girly type men to come close and become friends.. Masculine men obviously generate some primal fear in me(images of forceful sex etc creating fear ) not that I'm afraid of such men but it can be a bit challenging to be around them unless it's a romantic scenario.