Ok just did my 3rd session, my first 30 minutes Shamanic Breathing session. This one was quite intense after all. So the settings are the same as usual, besides it being around 16:45. (Jesus, my hands are trembling while typing this, and my back of the neck is hurting). Ok I made sure to stay focused and I tried to go as deep as possible (with my focus) "into it". As I was doing the breaths, it slowly felt like as if I'm going to faint (you know, this light feeling you have), and I was a bit scared of that. I still pushed forwards. It got to a point I was feeling like I could die and I tried to relax into it. Now let me clarify this bullshit of "relaxing into" this dying: At like 2 points I was whining like a little child crying for help (in my head, it showed in my breathing, like I was crying for help almost), and I still continued. There were maybe like 2-3 times that I had to slow down my breathing because, damn, it was hard for my body a bit but it was mostly because I felt it is hurting my physical hands. But I believe that it was an automatic response of my mind as well because maybe it didn't want me fainting here lol. At those moments that I experienced like I'm dying - it is like being in fear. Being in fear. For one of the first times in my life I remember what it means to fear. Most of my life I just try to escape fear. Being with this fear is something I've probably experienced as a child more often, thus I recalled  that feeling for like one of the first times in my life. It is very obvious for me that this death = freedom. It is the ultimate freedom. It really humbled me, and showed me that I have a lot of work. But I'm so damn happy I know what I need to do - To practice surrendering more to death! To die into things! This is how I'm gonna be fearless and build strong confidence and do amazing things in life like I see other people do, to live from my heart!! Close to the end I believe I got a really tiny glimpse (because it probably involved some thinking) of death. Maybe not, but I was for a moment imagining how it would be if I were dead now (still aware, no fantasies, but I did have some of this 'deathly vibe' to be able to imagine it more clearly). I don't so remember what I experienced though. If I felt like a child whining crying for help while crumbling into my own breath (dying) while feeling this current in my body - I must fight the enemy! I am a warrior on a mission to fight the enemy! Who am I kidding lmao, as if I didn't know this all this time?? Ever since I was a child I had this intuition that one day I'll fight the ultimate enemy and be free, just that I never really knew what it means. And then I'd be shocked because I'd discover that - The ultimate enemy is me. And it will be the hardest battle ever, but it will lead to ultimate freedom - Death. (By the way I didn't have any visuals or any illusory thing)