@HERO_ Feedback loop I designed just for you (updated with steps 13, 14 and 15): 1. close your eyes 2. sink into your body 3. feel your emotions 4. label your emotions while staying contact with your body --- you mentioned failure, target that first then work down the list of "negative" emotions 5. recall a memory that links to that emotion (may just end up being association/s) 6. remember to keep your eyes closed and stay in any of those associations that come up 7. ask yourself, what is behind the feeling that I'm experiencing relating to this association 8. any other emotions, prepare yourself, experience them fully, the body is learning to understand these new commands you're providing it in doing so, its learning how to bring up emotions as you ask it to in response to your associational mind-body memory 9. focus on your breath for a few moments away from other associations and emotions while not blocking them out either 10. shift to the emotion of compassion on the experience you're going through, do this for 30 seconds as a practice run, as you get better and better at cycling through these steps, learn to transition between this state and love so that you learn to transmute that state to the level you've automatically learned to do, that you've developed a natural instinct for anticipating the amount of time you personally need to devote 11. notice any changes you're experiencing and now here's the step where I'd advise that you start a journal to help you encode the experiences you've had in this practice so you can recall the benefit of doing it, in doing, increase the likelihood of continue to do it 12. in this journal I want you to repeat the above exercise with/without the noted transitions but in doing so, I want you to mind map those associations in a more regimented manner, going back to the earlier question of asking yourself "what emotion is behind this emotion", taking that to the next set of associations and the emotions that are behind there In the beginning it'll be difficult to perform these steps but as you improve your proficiency your mastery over your emotional intelligence will become second to none.    Go through the same process with your: - feelings of shame - family dependency or dependency in general, work through any feelings associated with the idea of independence    13. have trust in your intuitive intelligence to notice patterns you performed in step 12 and then translate those insights into actions you can take right now to begin repatterning those associations, for example as it concerns any associations relating to dependency, do the opposite of withdrawal that may have arisen when you say perhaps wanted to shy away at an independent move. The same can be done with shame, by focusing on say pride and performing a corresponding action that produces said pride you can train your relationship to pride and better transition naturally away from feelings of shame 14. before bed read your journal which would include your experiences in step 13 and remind yourself in the morning of those insights   15. remind yourself throughout the day of these insights you've uncovered, this will trigger dopamine (makes you feel good) and a positive progress feedback loop for yourself