I have a certain kind of sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant males.  I find myself in a submissive role around such men. However I'm often left feeling guilt over my attraction.  Is this healthy attraction?  I also get feelings where I feel like I want to be raped by such a dominant male (like a strange rape fantasy) in such a way that it repeats or continues the inner trauma in me. I don't know why I get such dark thoughts. It feels like a relief to recreate/relive traumatic scenarios because it feels like familiar attachment or at least a memory of such bonding /attachment.  Also being controlled sexually by a dominant male creates a false sense of security, but security nevertheless.  But I don't want any random male to do this. Only the male I'm attracted and seduced by and someone I connect with.