Sorry for the rant below, but i want to provide as much clarity and nuance as I can. So back in Feburary i had a peak experience on LSD, where it felt like there was a mass of tension in my head that was dissolved(for lack of a better term). I had done LSD before and never came close to this kind of experience. After the tension fully released, it felt like the top of my head literally opened up, and after that i felt a weird substance flow through my body. This led to the peak where i felt bliss flowing through my body, and surge of confidence, euphoria etc. Since then i've done a handful of trips, some of which i've gotten close to a similar release, but never quite to that degree. It's always the same pattern though, there's this tension in my head/face and the degree to which i can relieve it is the degree to which i break through into higher tier feeling and being. Even now while i'm sober(Not fully sober i'm on welbutrin (an amphetmaine anti-depressant that actually helps relieve the tension in my head a tiny amount), i can feel that same tension in my head, and when i meditate and breathe there is some kind of release, but nowhere near the point where i can fully release it and let it go. It also is related to my breathing, i've noticed for a while that i had some trouble breathing, and was constantly having sinus problems and nose bleeds. But when the tension release it feels like there's a mass of tension around my nose that is also released and my breathing clears up. I also noticed that I was able to more fully feel tension points in my body, and it was like I was more in tune and inside my body. I also noticed increase in coordination during these breakthrough trips (I'd say i'm mildy autistic given some coordination problems, and repetitive habits etc) So... a few concerns and thoughts I have on this situation are as follows: 1. I am chasing this peak or high, i've been doing this basically since the experience happened. I feel that same tension/pressure in my head while sober, and it feels like there is a block there. On the one hand it feels like i'm just chasing a high and this is just a dead end of self defeating behavior. On the other hand, there's clearly something to this knot and tension located in my head that is affecting me some major ways... it feels like my head is contracted( like much of my body) and for whatever reason the LSD opens the mind/head right up.  2. How do i resolve this conflict? On the one hand, i'm a drug addict chasing an LSD high. On the other hand, there's a contraction in my body (the head) and seeking a way to release the contract is a wise move. I'm a stiff person, i have a ton of tension in my shoulders, back, head etc but i wonder if the release of bliss and sort of astral body i get from releasing the knot in the head is normal?  3. The knot is also influenced by meditation and breathing. I've noticed that the few peak experiences I had, when i would breathe into the knot it would help loosen it up and facilitate the release. I've also noticed that when i used the zgochen technique of becoming aware of the experience of being aware, or turning attention towards it self, it has a big effect on the knot.