Hi Everyone, I have something to share, this is more about my inner emotional process of coming to terms with the inner conflict I keep feeling.

First of all, I love serving the evolution of everyone here with anything I am able to offer anyone seeking to improve/heal/awaken or surrender and make peace with. It's such a joy for me because I am the recipient of the positive quality of anything that comes through me for another person, no matter whether they are able to receive it or not.

That is why I love this place, because there are people who are ready and willing to heal and grow, and thus my abilities are put to a good use of meeting other people's needs for expansion. I am not in a place in my life right now where I'd be able to or had the energy to start and sustain my own platform for whomever would be interested, and so this is a great opportunity for me to still contribute, while still having enough energy to preserve for myself and my ongoing healing and awakening process.

But I can't get behind anything Leo says/does here and it makes me feel as if I was a silent ally to something I fundamentally disagree with, and find incredibly destructive.

It began with Leo posting a bunch of things in the dating/relationships sub-forum where the quality of the content was that of a 15 year old horny boy, rather than an awakened being. Then I found the George Floyd topics, where Leo blatantly started victim shaming the poor guy.

Then I saw Leo dismiss the things that called him out and pointed out his toxic tendencies, and he accused them of self-bias, and said to me himself 'oh this is the big me talking, the GOD that is all of us', as if Leo had no personal accountability for the things he's saying here behind the excuse of 'being enlightened'. Here's some news, the BIG LEO is all of us, therefore hiding behind the bigger self is as ridiculous as pretending someone else's mother is really your own.
It's a massive spiritual ego-trip, and it is a complete conflict of interests for me, because the more toxic this place gets, the more I feel like I am a silent ally, and the less I find it productive for me to even offer anything to anyone, because most of it gets just drowned in a pile of dismissal and blame-games pretending to be spiritual.   May I also point out that while thankfully this isn't a cult, having a spiritual teacher unwilling to acknowledge his massive blind-spots is extremely unfortunate.

Maybe other people feel the same way, if anyone feels similarly, may this be a permission to honor your feelings and intuition. I'm still somewhat emotionally attached to this forum so I don't know how easy leaving for good for me would be, I had left for quite some time but I came back because I still found joy in serving others. And now that motivation is withering away once again. It is not that I don't find it lovely to serve, it is that I find it equally important not to be an enabler and a silent ally to toxicity.

Whether I disappear forever, or this is just me venting here, thank you for being here and being on this journey with me, whether you feel like it or not, on the journey of healing and awakening, we are all in it together no matter the roles being played by each of us.

Love to all of you guys!