I am blessed right now with having a lot of free time with very little responsibilities since I am currently visiting an online school which currently requires very little effort.  However, I notice myself just wasting a lot of time. And it's not even like I enjoy the time I'm wasting. When I'm actually being productive and work on my projects I feel much more alive and happy, yet I still avoid it.  Why is that? Shouldn't I be pulled towards the things I enjoy? Where does this resistance come from? Is it an issue of identity? and how do I fix that?