Thanks!  My pleasure. I'm happy you see the value of it. It's good you feel the physical sensation. If that trauma sensation is not being put into awareness or not taken care of,  that will eventually manifest as anxiety, depression, suicidal feelings, mysterious bodily pains,cancer, etc. In my first few months of digging deep into my past, I was overwhelmed by the the number of painful memories flooding my consciousness. I focused on one painful memory, and in the middle of dissecting it, another painful memory came up. After one session which lasted about 2 to 3 hrs, I always got exhausted and would take a nap to recover my energy. This work of digging and dissecting your past or entire history is very serious and is naturally time, energy, and will-demanding. But it is the only way to go. What else is more sensible and rewarding than understanding yourself, your past, healing your trauma, and feeling good about yourself?    It was a very long, winding road. I started with going to the psychiatrists and taking meds. It was a waste of time. I never suspected psychiatry as almost like a fraud. I just assumed every institution is legitimate and trustworthy. But as months go by, I could not ignore my perception that psychiatrists don't have a deep understanding of mental diseases and just blindly follow their protocol.   That realization was very horrifying to me. And I was disgusted by psychiatry. Treating mental-emotional diseases is as serious, even slightly more serious than treating physical diseases I must say. How could psychiatrists charge spiritually broken people a fortune after bullshitting them? I was lied to. And my college friend who had GAD and depression was also lied to. He murdered himself after 6 months of seeing his psychiatrist (who was also my psychiatrist) and taking meds.    So I took everything in my own hands. I did much research and bought a few books about my condition to have a deep understanding of it. One of the books I read was The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. His non-duality teachings did not help me. It just confused me instead. But the meditations he mentioned in the book were useful. I imagined a white light inside my head. Then I moved the white light to my neck, arms, belly, until it reached my feet. I did it for a few months. It increased my focus and made me more aware of my bodily sensations. Eckhart's "silent watcher" is powerful. It allowed me to "get out" of my feelings and observe them instead of being taken over by them. And I loved his "24/7" meditation which is to be very present all the time, in every situation. I started feeling the pressure on my feet while walking. I carefully observed the shape and color of the branches and leaves of trees and watched them swayed in the wind. It intensified my focus and concentration. I still do this form of meditation now, especially when I'm alone in nature.   I came across a book about self-love. I intuitionally (intuitively) knew that would be a game changer. I spent a few years generating self-love. It was very difficult because there was much resistance. I had very low self-esteem and much self-hate to love myself. But I pulled it off. Now I have deep self-love. And it's unshakeable because it is unconditional. The greatest form of love is unconditional. It is easy to love somebody or something if it's beautiful. But if it's ugly, it is very challenging or impossible. And I know self-love is what you need. Start with recognizing your positive characteristics. Acknowledge and be appreciative of the things about yourself (especially something about your personality) which you naturally approve of. When you look in the mirror, notice and admire parts of your face and body which you find beautiful. Do this long enough until you notice the general positive feeling you generate when you think about yourself. When your self-love becomes stable, it will be very clear to you. You won't even question yourself whether you have it or not. Then you can level up and try to generate Unconditional self-love. I can't give details on how to do this. I don't have enough time and energy now to cover another complex topic. I might do it in the future.   It is very natural to me to contemplate things. This must be one of the major reasons why I had pure O ( a form of OCD). I have always had a natural curiosity about things, especially things most humans are not interested in, since I was 4 years old. It is through deep contemplation that I understand and discover useful methods for solving things.    I love being alone in nature. I regularly ride my bicycle or talk a walk in places like this. From time to time, I pick a spot and just sit there, contemplating or admiring and appreciating the beauty and mystery for 6 hrs straight. It always refreshes my soul.  https://goo.gl/maps/ky5Xrtn79r37B3Cr7 I love beautiful women, especially if they are authentic. Being with them and enjoying them also helps in healing yourself. This might make you envious.