1. Come up I was laying in bed with an eye mask on, listening to the John Hopkins spotify playlist through headphones. Pretty soon I was tearing up a bit by the music. But after a while I stopped paying attention to the music and instead was confronted by the strange and alien seeming situation that I was in - I was a biological creature needing to drink and eat, a young man laying in bed high on acid listening to classical music, the son of a single parent mother who is in a different country, a brother of two siblings. All of this seemingly obvious observations and facts, suddenly turned into an alien whirlpool of random thoughts that I had no connection to, I could not relate to them anymore.   2. Confusion Suddenly I had no idea why I am in this situation. Why did I take acid? Why am I listening to strange sounding music that I enjoyed just a few minutes ago? Why am I so confused? I had zero context to what I was doing or why. It seemed completely bizarre. I had no ground, nothing I could be sure of, everything seemed alien, even the thought that I am part of a family. It felt like something has slowly showed a crowbar into my mind and then, with a sudden jerky movement clamped it sideways. I tried to get a grip on reality by thinking about my little brother which normally brings about positive, warm associations in me - but not this time, I felt like a cold alien creature. I tried to eat the food that I love most, delicious mango - but it tasted like soap.   3. Psychotic reaction I was confused beyond comprehension. I thought that I must have taken something that was not real AL-LAD, something that fucked up my psyche, because this experience seemed to have no beneficial elements at all. I had no insights, no emotional releases just stupid confusion. It felt unbearable, I was convinced that "I did it this time". I have come to the logical conclusion that I must have taken a substance from a untrustworthy source (even though a tested the substance) and that I am legitimately mad now. At this point I had no hope that things can get better, I accepted that my life is over and that I will be in a madhouse from now on. I knew that I am not able to take responsibility for my own survival anymore and that I should contact a friend who can bring me into a hospital and help to distribute my materialistic possessions to my family members.   4. I called a friend By a miracle I managed to use a smartphone to call a friend to put the responsibility on her to hospitalize me. I was talking completely gibberish which made her laugh. For me it seemed rude that she laughed at my condition but it helped me a lot to hear her voice and to see her face (video chat). After about one hour of total confusion and alienation from everything I began to notice that by talking to her I was slowly regaining my cognitive abilities and after two hours I felt quite normal again and could laugh about it.   5. What was that? I don't know what to make out of this trip. Was the dose too high which caused my ego to snap? This theme of confusion is something that is recurring in some of my trips, this time it was by far the most intense. Some trips are very insightful and healing but sometimes it is just confusion. Do you have any similar experiences?