Chapter 1: Chapter 2: Chapter 3: a journey to anywhere. Chapter 4. Just when I thought that I passed the spiritual threshold - that this whole enlightenment journey would be a breeze from here onwards... Oh boy was I wrong. I was so, so wrong. Reality tends to forcefeed humility to those on the spiritual diet, and I'm nearly choking on it. Every single day, I am humbled to the utmost degree at the sheer beauty and complexity of this world. From the wild-foraged coral tooth mushrooms to the quirky humans stuck in psychological homeostasis, this infinite place has an infinite number of things to learn. Every time I think I know something for certain, Reality says, "Nuh-uh, JJ. Here, let me show you that the opposite is just as true." And then I'm like, "Well...shit." A week ago, I moved to my Elsewhere - an intentional community that's also an outdoor school. Even in a week, I have learned so much about communal living and so much about myself. In particular, I never realized how selfish I am. Helping the people around me, giving without receiving, doing mindless chores - all of these have pushed my ego buttons. Ego wants to have it like before: self-indulging in psychoanalytical woe-is-me bullshit, receiving without giving, and being lazy. But now, I'm too busy to think too much about myself. I'm thinking about how I can serve others. And whattya know - I definitely feel happier than I did at my parents'. As an INFP, I struggle with concrete goal setting, so I aim for ideals. I wrote down a few in my journal a couple days ago, so I'll paste them here.  Here's what I want to learn in my time at this community: I want to be totally relaxed in conversation and exude the energy of "I am worthy to listen to; my words matter; I am comfortable with myself." Right now, I am not totally relaxed in conversation, and I exude the energy of "I am unworthy to listen to; my words don't matter; ignore me." I want to be flexible with requests from community members. Instead of internally groaning whenever someone asks a favor, I want to be willing and receptive to help. I want to learn how to establish boundaries. To say 'no,' to redirect, to stand up for myself in a respectful way that benefits everyone. I have the habit of being a doormat. I want to have some sense of humor, to be able to react quickly with humor in a conversation. That means practicing "yes and", caricatures, and the fake-out. I'm normally a pretty dull conversationalist. I interview more than I converse. Finish the health coaching certificate. Work at a wellness center in town. Work with clients that I resonate with. Something I haven't talked about yet: I've been working on an online certificate for the past several months. Deepen my friendships with two people in particular.  Deepen my relationship with the leader of the community. Have some of his zen rub off on me. Learn his ways.  Banish epstein-barr and strep from my system using the Medical Medium heavy metal detox protocol. Clear skin, clear hearing, clear thinking. I've cut my animal protein consumption in half and doubled my fruit and vegetable intake. I feel a lot better. Write one song per week, keep learning covers.  Keep writing on the forum.  I feel more aligned than ever, but I still have no idea what my purpose is. So I'll just keep on chuggin' along and follow the bread-crumb trail of the Universe. I'll voluntarily continue this process of self-uncovery and surrender. I'll take this journey to Anywhere.