By Arthur
in Psychedelics,
Dear Actualizers,
I would like to share some of the insights I got while having my first experience of the psychedelic 5-MeO-DMT.
(Apologise for badly written English) I did not experience a breakthrough, physical death or the Absolute. You won’t find information on those topics here. However, I still got some interesting insights about reality. I won’t post my dosages, since every person’s dose will vary with the purity of the substance, method of administration and body tolerance. Start small and increment the doses with consecutive trips. I’ve done 3 trips so far. Each one presented me with a different insight. Before the peak After about 5 to 10 minutes of taking the substance (not when smoking), the first affects started to occur. Heart rate increased, slight shivering, nausea, slight burning sensation in the chest and feeling of tension in the forehead. These might sound terrible, but they were not that bad and I was just able to relax into it despite discomfort. The visual field became kind of fuzzy as well, everything was still there, but it felt like looking into a curved mirror. My motor functions were fine - I could walk and grab things fine. But in general I had a slight buzz, similar to when you have maybe a beer or two. Peak Insights After about 15-20 minutes, all previously mentioned feelings completely faded away and I entered incredible state of consciousness. My awareness got multiplied by 1000, like I’ve been meditating since birth. No other non-psychedelic substance ever came close to this. It’s really indescribable state that needs to be experienced. In that state, I got hit by three facets of reality: 1. First trip showed me that everything we experience is there because of Love. I came to the trip expecting something massive, something huge and scary, but it was none of that. It was a very gentle, very personal and warm feeling of Love. Not romantic love or love of you family, it was much a deeper feeling - Love for reality. This love was so strong, that it allowed Everything to exist. You can do anything to it, stab it, cut it, spit on it, and it will still love you. You can manipulate, delude yourself, tell lies and it didn’t matter. This love doesn’t judge, doesn’t moralize and doesn’t separate. Honestly It felt like I got caught with my pants down, and this love was looking my whole life saying “its ok”… I cried my ass out for a good 10 minutes. I realized that me, and everybody else, forgot this feeling of Love. This Love was manifesting itself in every perception. I looked at a bucket next to me and busted into tears. Everybody forgot that they are here to experience Anything they want. I thought to myself “wow, how beautiful this reality is compared to non-existence”. I knew that I will forget this experience, and that everybody forgot how magical, beautiful and Loving reality is. 2. Second trip showed me the Omnipresence of perception. For this one, I laid down on my couch with meditative music playing softly on my phone in the background. I was able to experience that the sound was not coming from the phone, but just appeared in my awareness out of no-where. In fact, all of my perceptions and sensations appeared by themselves, for themselves. It felt that thinking about perception coming from an object is ridiculous. Yes you can say that the membrane in the speaker vibrate, producing air waves that travel to my ear. But that really doesn’t say anything. It is a conceptual idea, which is very different from the experience of the music itself. Concept has an experience of its own, and experience of the music has a life of its own. It is not far or close, loud or quiet, left or right. It’s just a perception by itself. When I start conceptualizing about it - I lose the experience of it and switch to the experience of conceptualizing. 3. Third trip was about the nature of Experience and Awareness. Everything became quiet and my brain entered a supercharged mode. Thoughts were flying around like clouds in a time-lapse video. It hit me out of the blue, that everything in existence is an experience happening in the present moment. It’s really all it is… When I think about the past, I have an experience of a thought of a past. The past doesn’t exist as its own entity. I realized what Awareness is the occurrence of all the experiences in the present. Awareness gives the experience a ground. It shapes it and makes it real. I understood that Awareness was not separate from experience. I couldn’t point to Awareness, because everywhere is only experience. I though “What does that say about me then?”. Well when I feel something, there is just the experience of it by itself. When I’m sad – that’s the experience of sadness, when I’m thinking – that’s the experience of human thought, when I go to the washroom – that’s the experience of it. There is only the collection of experiences happening right now, the rest is a concept (which is also a type of experience). For example, imagine there is a closed box with an object inside. You look at it and you don’t know what’s inside, you just have the experience of the box. When you look inside and find the object, you might think “oh this object was inside all this time”. But that’s not the true. There was no object inside, only the experience of a closed box. When you opened it, now you have the experience of what’s inside. And when you think that it was there all along – you have that experience in the present moment! It wasn’t there before, there is no before… That leaves the Self, as just this bundle of perceptions and experiences – Awareness. After the peak After each peak, came a state of full blissfulness and peace. I felt like I can stay in this place forever. I thought of walking around with IV fluid drip of 5-Meo-DMT Not surprisingly though, my Ego crept in on me. And I even experienced an Ego backlash with some of my low consciousness activities. But for the rest of the day, I was able to observe my ego, allowed it to be and sort of distance myself. I stayed in a very meditative state until the next day. Overall, the experiences were very profound for me. I kind of set the stage for them with couple of years of meditation, sprinkle of contemplation and reading a little bit of Ralston’s works. But I never truly contemplated the nature of those insights. They came out of no-where. Those insights were very deep, and it will take me years to fully understand them. I think those insights has to penetrate into my machine-like subconscious mind to truly make a shift in perspective. The experience felt very personal and intimate to me. I’m only sharing this here because I feel like 5-MeO have a bad reputation for deeply traumatizing people. I want to show that it might not always be the case. I will continue experimenting in the future and hopefully experience a breakthrough. I want to express my gratitude to Leo for introducing me to 5-MeO @Leo Gura. This substance is no drug! it is consciousness in chemical form. I’ve experienced a massive growth probably equal to few years of strict meditation & contemplation. Thank you Leo! (You’ve changed my life a couple of times by now ) Thanks everybody for support!
(Apologise for badly written English) I did not experience a breakthrough, physical death or the Absolute. You won’t find information on those topics here. However, I still got some interesting insights about reality. I won’t post my dosages, since every person’s dose will vary with the purity of the substance, method of administration and body tolerance. Start small and increment the doses with consecutive trips. I’ve done 3 trips so far. Each one presented me with a different insight. Before the peak After about 5 to 10 minutes of taking the substance (not when smoking), the first affects started to occur. Heart rate increased, slight shivering, nausea, slight burning sensation in the chest and feeling of tension in the forehead. These might sound terrible, but they were not that bad and I was just able to relax into it despite discomfort. The visual field became kind of fuzzy as well, everything was still there, but it felt like looking into a curved mirror. My motor functions were fine - I could walk and grab things fine. But in general I had a slight buzz, similar to when you have maybe a beer or two. Peak Insights After about 15-20 minutes, all previously mentioned feelings completely faded away and I entered incredible state of consciousness. My awareness got multiplied by 1000, like I’ve been meditating since birth. No other non-psychedelic substance ever came close to this. It’s really indescribable state that needs to be experienced. In that state, I got hit by three facets of reality: 1. First trip showed me that everything we experience is there because of Love. I came to the trip expecting something massive, something huge and scary, but it was none of that. It was a very gentle, very personal and warm feeling of Love. Not romantic love or love of you family, it was much a deeper feeling - Love for reality. This love was so strong, that it allowed Everything to exist. You can do anything to it, stab it, cut it, spit on it, and it will still love you. You can manipulate, delude yourself, tell lies and it didn’t matter. This love doesn’t judge, doesn’t moralize and doesn’t separate. Honestly It felt like I got caught with my pants down, and this love was looking my whole life saying “its ok”… I cried my ass out for a good 10 minutes. I realized that me, and everybody else, forgot this feeling of Love. This Love was manifesting itself in every perception. I looked at a bucket next to me and busted into tears. Everybody forgot that they are here to experience Anything they want. I thought to myself “wow, how beautiful this reality is compared to non-existence”. I knew that I will forget this experience, and that everybody forgot how magical, beautiful and Loving reality is. 2. Second trip showed me the Omnipresence of perception. For this one, I laid down on my couch with meditative music playing softly on my phone in the background. I was able to experience that the sound was not coming from the phone, but just appeared in my awareness out of no-where. In fact, all of my perceptions and sensations appeared by themselves, for themselves. It felt that thinking about perception coming from an object is ridiculous. Yes you can say that the membrane in the speaker vibrate, producing air waves that travel to my ear. But that really doesn’t say anything. It is a conceptual idea, which is very different from the experience of the music itself. Concept has an experience of its own, and experience of the music has a life of its own. It is not far or close, loud or quiet, left or right. It’s just a perception by itself. When I start conceptualizing about it - I lose the experience of it and switch to the experience of conceptualizing. 3. Third trip was about the nature of Experience and Awareness. Everything became quiet and my brain entered a supercharged mode. Thoughts were flying around like clouds in a time-lapse video. It hit me out of the blue, that everything in existence is an experience happening in the present moment. It’s really all it is… When I think about the past, I have an experience of a thought of a past. The past doesn’t exist as its own entity. I realized what Awareness is the occurrence of all the experiences in the present. Awareness gives the experience a ground. It shapes it and makes it real. I understood that Awareness was not separate from experience. I couldn’t point to Awareness, because everywhere is only experience. I though “What does that say about me then?”. Well when I feel something, there is just the experience of it by itself. When I’m sad – that’s the experience of sadness, when I’m thinking – that’s the experience of human thought, when I go to the washroom – that’s the experience of it. There is only the collection of experiences happening right now, the rest is a concept (which is also a type of experience). For example, imagine there is a closed box with an object inside. You look at it and you don’t know what’s inside, you just have the experience of the box. When you look inside and find the object, you might think “oh this object was inside all this time”. But that’s not the true. There was no object inside, only the experience of a closed box. When you opened it, now you have the experience of what’s inside. And when you think that it was there all along – you have that experience in the present moment! It wasn’t there before, there is no before… That leaves the Self, as just this bundle of perceptions and experiences – Awareness. After the peak After each peak, came a state of full blissfulness and peace. I felt like I can stay in this place forever. I thought of walking around with IV fluid drip of 5-Meo-DMT Not surprisingly though, my Ego crept in on me. And I even experienced an Ego backlash with some of my low consciousness activities. But for the rest of the day, I was able to observe my ego, allowed it to be and sort of distance myself. I stayed in a very meditative state until the next day. Overall, the experiences were very profound for me. I kind of set the stage for them with couple of years of meditation, sprinkle of contemplation and reading a little bit of Ralston’s works. But I never truly contemplated the nature of those insights. They came out of no-where. Those insights were very deep, and it will take me years to fully understand them. I think those insights has to penetrate into my machine-like subconscious mind to truly make a shift in perspective. The experience felt very personal and intimate to me. I’m only sharing this here because I feel like 5-MeO have a bad reputation for deeply traumatizing people. I want to show that it might not always be the case. I will continue experimenting in the future and hopefully experience a breakthrough. I want to express my gratitude to Leo for introducing me to 5-MeO @Leo Gura. This substance is no drug! it is consciousness in chemical form. I’ve experienced a massive growth probably equal to few years of strict meditation & contemplation. Thank you Leo! (You’ve changed my life a couple of times by now ) Thanks everybody for support!
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