Mind Attacks After Initial Seeing

By Ayla,
This is intended as a guide and a sharing of experiences after the initial "seeing".  A little bit of an explanation:  After initial seeing of the reality of no self, mind will begin to come back with a vengeance for a while, probing into the most intimate corners of your being, as if to ask if you are sure that you want to pursue this. First attack is usually:  "what you saw was either not real or you didn't see it at all or you've imagined it" etc. This is where people usually get lost. For some, they go back to believing their minds. They lost touch with their inner intelligence because they are so caught up in fears and lack of self trust. They stop seeing the help that is being given to them in order to transcend, lose insights and intuition, only to come back to them weeks or months or years later - usually due to life frustrations that keeps pushing them to continue.  Solution: deepen your seeing. Keep inquiring who is the one that doesn't believe, Keep going back into "observer mode". Don't believe anything you mind is telling you. IT IS NOT REAL!  Once you have deepened your seeing, You will receive some kind of help through synchronicity, new openings, new forms of seeing the reality and understanding it. Second series of attacks involve your deepest programming and insecurities. Situations will present themselves to trigger what you cling to as a person. It will seem VERY real and frightening. This is where a guide is very important. Someone that can keep you steady and focused so that you don't give up. Different dynamics in the job area, family area, interpersonal relationships are beginning to manifest and everyone around you will try to pull you back into who they need you to be.  I call such attacks HELL. They have a feeling about them that is so definitive, like a surgeon that cuts off parts of yourself. BTW, they will only cut parts of who you are not, of your own illusory construction.  How to deal with such attacks. Usually during the first attacks of this type, you completely "lose it". You lose the seeing, the observer, the guide, the God and everything seems to go into a full panic mode. Body reacts in a myriad of ways - pains, aches, shaking, vomiting, trouble breathing, sharp knives, cold, hot, etc. Mind is going completely bonkers. If you can get in touch with the one that sees that and just let it happen, if you stop pushing it away, if you can fully feel the body's reactions, it will pass.  Use any or all of these "affirmations" : this has come and it will go this is only tearing apart things which I am not I am seeing all of this, it is not me I cannot be killed let go It is also very possible that you also lose the confidence and the trust in your guide at this time, because of the association of mind: "it is because of this person that I am into this mess". You need to prepare for this one in advance. Build trust and look into this, BEFORE. A good guru or guide will warn you about this and put in place techniques to reach out to him in those moments. I have a list of videos and one or two people to help me when/if this still arises. The help consists in the reassurance that all that's needed is to stay as the Self and watch all this.  There's also a strong pull to just go back to sleep during this phase, as you see your self-made construction dissolve. It can manifest as suicidal thoughts, refusal to continue the looking, negating the guide, going back into certain pattern of behavior, throwing away all the books, deleting the videos, etc etc. Those, are also thoughts and you need to look at them as such. Keep going in.  As an ending to this initial post, I want to say that if you read this and you know what I'm talking about, hopefully it will help you stay on the right track and reassure you.  Every Enlightened Master has passed through this narrow space in order to transcend. For each of us, the experience seems different but it has the same roots and flavors. Keep in mind that TRUTH NEVER ATTACKS YOU, and if it does, it only attacks parts of who you are not!