A chapter ends, a new one begins. After a couple weeks of binge eating and feeling sorry for myself, I finally quit my job and went North to stay with the parents for R&R. The place where I was, was a hellhole. But, I got what I paid for. Honestly, now that I have some distance from the whole situation, I'm glad I went through it. I think of the following quote: "Only a man who has suffered the deepest misfortune is capable of experiencing the heights of felicity." - Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo.  The human condition is slimy. When it feels threatened, it sees what it can get away with right now without any thought of the future. All to avoid the groundlessness of this thing called life. Nahhhhh, one croissant's not a big deal. Yeaaahhhhhhhh, eating an entire 14" vegan pizza is what you need right now (WORTH IT). Ohh, watching your brother play video games when you were little was comforting, so why don't you watch a few Let's Plays? Everything will be all right... Everything was not all right. I was miserable. Lonely, depressed, unmotivated, lost after the expedition to Ireland. Still am, but to a much lesser degree. Within a matter of days, I've rebounded significantly. A morning routine developed organically: wake up with the sun, go down to the dock, do pranayama, meditate, jump in the water, do a few yoga poses, intermittent fast, then make some green juice, have some fruit or a smoothie, then denser starchy food like oats. Yup, I'm taking a break from the raw vegan thing for now. It's the end goal, but I'm simply not ready yet. I have too many "food vasanas" to burn.  This is my front yard at the moment. A hummingbird is a few feet away sucking on white flowers as I write this. Being outside in the sun, moving around, swimming, suntanning, and doing basic pointless chores. Who would'a thunk these little things could have such a profound effect on my demeanor? A lot shattered here, hopefully making room for new things. I'm fed up with playing the role of being a spiritual authority, so that's part of the reason why I started a new thread and don't really participate in forum discussion. I'm convinced from my own experience that most of you who participate on the forum are not really looking for advice, but more for validation and company. I guess I'm doing the same, since I could easily be writing this all in my personal journal but am choosing instead to write here. I'll probably post some resources in the future. I'm always experimenting with different stuff. But that's life, is it not? Try this, try that. Explore. Build. Play. Smile, frown, poop, pee, sleep. Become progressively more awake. Or not. Then, die. An oddly beautiful thing. A journey to nowhere.