By Dizzy
in Psychedelics,
This is my report of my insights of a 2g dried of magic mushroom trip that happened yesterday. This report may seems more like a high dose trip, however, I have done a lot of work to all of this occur in only a 2g dose, yet I had no idea I would go this far.
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When I go for a trip, it's a full day preparation. So my day started with 30 minutes of HoloSync meditation, followed by 1 hour of Osho's Dynamic meditation, 40 min of Kundalini yoga and then another 45 min of Osho's meditation.
At the begging of the trip I found fear was there with me. Well, I didnt want this "thing" with me the whole time, so already tripping I grabbed fear with own hand and throw it away, like I would drop an object out of my hand. Only 40 min in and this had happened. I knew it would be then a deep trip, had taken fear out, after that I was already beyond the thoughts. All was quiet when there was a sudden sound. I said "ok, mushroom please show me what I need to learn in order to grow ". I had no expectation at all, I trusted on what the mushroom can teach me. Next thing I know, I merged with the sound. I wasn't listening it from an outside perspective, it was me - the sound doing it and expressing it at the same time.
Quickly after that everything went down. I had no identification with the mind, thoughts, body, external or internal.
" Enlightenment for a wave is the moment the wave realizes it's the water". I read that on my wall. I then decided to look to my window and there was the ocean (yes the ocean is really there). As contemplate it, slowly I started becoming part of the ocean too. At this point on, there was nothing that the "I" wasnt. The "I" merged with my whole room and with the whole universe. I was the one being the universe and also the one perceiving my surrounding with my own eyes.
I looked at my hand and I could not tell that was my hand - the hand was just part of existence and had nothing physical to it.
I was the hand, and was also the space in between where my hands were and where the wall was. I was the hand, the oxygen, the atoms and molecules, the wall and anything thats beyond the physical wall.
I was part of the source as much as the source itself. I was vibrations of energy that has no begging and no ending. I was water and the one who was drinking the water. I was nothing physical or the opposite of that.
To be clear, all of these realizations didn't come at once but it's hard to describe what points were this or that happening, as the sense of time from the old perspective was long gone and the word "time " was just another word that had no direct meaning.
I had also realized that I had no longer any feelings, no emotions, no identificatio with mind, It was there as the mind and the same time it wasn't. No sense of self, no "I" identified with one certain space, time or object.
Everything I ever thought I loved was gone. Every single labelled I put on "this I love and this I don't " was just a pattern because I was pure existence and could only love all, because it's all me. And that was intense. I couldn't even cry or laugh because none of them applied to that moment. Nothing I ever learned before applied. All my senses were GONE. The world I knew was gone. I wasn't alive but wasn't dead either. I just was a being.
It seems beautiful quoted here but it wasn't all pretty and wonderful as others awakenings I had before. I have been in a beautifully realm before where there was no pain, only infinite universal joy and love.
Well.. now being everything and nothing at the same minute, when a minute isn't really there as merely 60 seconds and 60 seconds is also "me", it's holy shit intense. It was deepest play with fire I have ever been.
Took me many hours to fully came back to the old sense of self. Although I am not fully recognized with the old self yet, much of what before I claimed to be part of me seems to be fully gone, what I used to like and dislike also may be gone. So, then, what is me ? I am existence.
That was my experience and realizations. There may be some parts I misinterpreted and can't express with words clearly what was. I may have more insights coming as I go along and integrate it all. Thanks for reading if you did
Comments and opinions always welcome
---------
When I go for a trip, it's a full day preparation. So my day started with 30 minutes of HoloSync meditation, followed by 1 hour of Osho's Dynamic meditation, 40 min of Kundalini yoga and then another 45 min of Osho's meditation.
At the begging of the trip I found fear was there with me. Well, I didnt want this "thing" with me the whole time, so already tripping I grabbed fear with own hand and throw it away, like I would drop an object out of my hand. Only 40 min in and this had happened. I knew it would be then a deep trip, had taken fear out, after that I was already beyond the thoughts. All was quiet when there was a sudden sound. I said "ok, mushroom please show me what I need to learn in order to grow ". I had no expectation at all, I trusted on what the mushroom can teach me. Next thing I know, I merged with the sound. I wasn't listening it from an outside perspective, it was me - the sound doing it and expressing it at the same time.
Quickly after that everything went down. I had no identification with the mind, thoughts, body, external or internal.
" Enlightenment for a wave is the moment the wave realizes it's the water". I read that on my wall. I then decided to look to my window and there was the ocean (yes the ocean is really there). As contemplate it, slowly I started becoming part of the ocean too. At this point on, there was nothing that the "I" wasnt. The "I" merged with my whole room and with the whole universe. I was the one being the universe and also the one perceiving my surrounding with my own eyes.
I looked at my hand and I could not tell that was my hand - the hand was just part of existence and had nothing physical to it.
I was the hand, and was also the space in between where my hands were and where the wall was. I was the hand, the oxygen, the atoms and molecules, the wall and anything thats beyond the physical wall.
I was part of the source as much as the source itself. I was vibrations of energy that has no begging and no ending. I was water and the one who was drinking the water. I was nothing physical or the opposite of that.
To be clear, all of these realizations didn't come at once but it's hard to describe what points were this or that happening, as the sense of time from the old perspective was long gone and the word "time " was just another word that had no direct meaning.
I had also realized that I had no longer any feelings, no emotions, no identificatio with mind, It was there as the mind and the same time it wasn't. No sense of self, no "I" identified with one certain space, time or object.
Everything I ever thought I loved was gone. Every single labelled I put on "this I love and this I don't " was just a pattern because I was pure existence and could only love all, because it's all me. And that was intense. I couldn't even cry or laugh because none of them applied to that moment. Nothing I ever learned before applied. All my senses were GONE. The world I knew was gone. I wasn't alive but wasn't dead either. I just was a being.
It seems beautiful quoted here but it wasn't all pretty and wonderful as others awakenings I had before. I have been in a beautifully realm before where there was no pain, only infinite universal joy and love.
Well.. now being everything and nothing at the same minute, when a minute isn't really there as merely 60 seconds and 60 seconds is also "me", it's holy shit intense. It was deepest play with fire I have ever been.
Took me many hours to fully came back to the old sense of self. Although I am not fully recognized with the old self yet, much of what before I claimed to be part of me seems to be fully gone, what I used to like and dislike also may be gone. So, then, what is me ? I am existence.
That was my experience and realizations. There may be some parts I misinterpreted and can't express with words clearly what was. I may have more insights coming as I go along and integrate it all. Thanks for reading if you did
Comments and opinions always welcome
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