Note: I only remember this experience, I do not experience it right now.   This was a few months ago. An annual event occured called Mahashivratri, a night upsurge of energy. I heard somewhere that if you do japa of "Om Namah Shivaya" on this night, you gain immense fruits. I was already doing Hanuman's japa so I thought I'd give this a try. It gave me a wild experience. Context: I was sitting in front of Shiva's Picture, in padmasana, with diya lit up and all the other karmas that you do in Hinduism as are prescribed. I chanted the mantra for 108 malas. Each mala contains 108 beads. So I chanted it for 11,664 times which took about 4 hours. Here's what I experienced. It was done all sober, although many take marijuanna with this particular pooja.   It started slow but I felt my awareness get sharper. It was like I was seeing, hearing and feeling things in 4k. My previous experience felt like a 144p video compared to this. Over time, I started feeling like I was detaching from my body, like a flame is to the wick of the candle, I was to my body. Moving around, almost escaping, but nonetheless attached and dependent. This was when I decided to direct my awareness on my self and the world around. It hit me suddenly I was fake and so was the world. But at the same time, this as real as it could get. I could see, I saw that Shiva was the entire universe, time and space. The world was created out of Shiva, and the forms took shape out of dynamic energy, or Shakti. But they were both the same. Shiva weaving entire realities into this present moment. My body didn't even feel my own and it was as if I existed as air. It dawned on me that there was nothing beyond the present moment and what I experienced, and that there was no witness. The entire thing is just Shiva, and he's meditating. I did not care of my life story, my past, or my future, it was all as if I just imagined those stories. Therefore could be disregarded and forgotten. Only thing mattered was Shiva.   Now, suffice to say, it was pretty mind blowing, but this not where it stops.   I directed my attention at the idea of others, and sure enough, they were illusions too. In fact, Shiva was the one creating them, just like he was creating me. Others do not exist, just like the self. But I do not experience that anymore. I post here because I remember someone talking about this. I could actually see how Shiva constructs reality and how he is doing it every moment. There's no consistency between the past and the present. We think it does, but the logic we use to define that consistency has no ground. Logic is in fact, completely illogical and indistinguishable from it. I am as stupid as reality can get. Shiva is absolute null but it's not like there's anything other than Shiva in this world. All comparisons fail, you cannot compare something which is every thing.   Question is, Others don't exist. Makes everything feels absurd. It makes my heart feel empty and groundless. At the time I remember feeling complete and still. But now, I just feel disoriented by that idea. What should I do?