Uncovering Your Childhood Vows

By Leo Gura - December 25, 2016 | 24 Comments

Unwiring your neurotic personality


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C says:

Merry Christmas Leo!!!

It’s so wild how our subconscious mind shapes our entire life. When we are born, we are free and clear. No labels, no habits and no beliefs, no reservations. Then we grow up in an imperfect world where we feel we need to be perfect. Our thoughts and how we perceive things shape everything.

I remember a time when I was younger when I had no trust or faith in humanity. Alot of it came from my dad and the verbal abuse I received as a kid. I vowed to be a perfectionist and not make any mistakes. I became the teachers pet and I went looking for love in the wrong places to make up for what I didn’t receive at home. I got involved in a few long term relationships. I wasnt happy and I was taken for granted. One ended with a 6 month restraining order, and me moving away for my protection. I learned to be non-confrontational. I felt everyone in the world was out to get me and ruin my life. I’ve been single now for 9 years. It’s so interesting how one childhood vow can create a snow ball effect. It gets bigger and bigger and worse and worse.

I know exactly what you are talking about Leo!! I went through the Atheist phase in my life too as I was searching for truth. I became an atheist because I was madly love with this man and I thought it would make him happy. We ended up never dating unfortunately and we ended our friendship on bad terms. As an atheist I thought I knew everything, and it created so much anger in my heart and I thought I was better than everyone else. I felt superior, I finally felt that I had perfected something. Then I had a very spiritual experience when I was taking my hypnosis training class. I met a student that did reiki on me which completely turned my world upside down. It was a world I didn’t know about that soon became apart of my life purpose. My consciousness started to shift. I started to feel compassion, I started to have love in my heart again. I realized that self love and enlightenment were the answers I was looking for. I developed my life purpose.

You bring up a really great topic that people often over look and never are even aware of. I’ve done a lot of personal development and hypnosis work to uncover a lot of these issues but I’m sure there are plenty more I need to unravel. I’ll definitely be working on this since you have brought this up. You never deliver anything less than awesome when it comes to your work. Thank you again for all that you do.

Nice hat! Lol

Anna says:

The best teachers, coaches and mentors are the ones that experience the same hardships as their clients. They understand and feel their pain, and because of that they know how to work around it to bring success. That’s what makes you a great coach.

From what I’ve experienced so far, sometimes the bad things that happened in our lives are what shapes us into better people and can even be the driving force for our life purpose. That perception of our experience is what determines if it becomes a childhood vow that detriments our life or an inspiration or spark for success. Now that you have brought the sage approach into the mix, I can look back at my past experiences where people have hurt me and I feel compassion for them, forgive them, and let go, and I analyze why they may have attacked me or treated me the way they did. People usually are selfish and thinking about themselves. It could simply be that particular person was having a bad day and I was a target for their negativity. Sometimes the offenders are acting based off their own childhood vows and experiences.

When I left my abusive cheating ex I learned that his mother was a hoarder with schizophrenia for many years. His experience with his mother shaped the way he viewed and treated women. His old ex best friend contacted me a few months ago to tell me that I did everything right in the relationship and that he thought it was wrong the way I was treated by him. This friend then began to tell me that after I left my ex bf, he started to do crazy things, including that he got in trouble with the law and ran across a football field buck ass naked screaming he was the antichrist. So I left at the right time.

After watching your video, I’ve looked back at this experience and realized the true value of my selfworth. Our self love including our childhood vows determine the type of people we attract into our lives, including loving romantic relationships. We were made and created by LOVE, so we must be LOVE, to bring and attract more LOVE into our lives.

You are what you believe yourself to be.

Max Gron says:

Best? What’s best about it? It’s just a religion your mother wouldn’t follow and to make money, there’s nothing best about simple things with no class and no luxury! Thus the best morals and this is a moral video aren’t the best in the world, they’re just mediocre, good morals you find from moralists. The majority is moral because the majority is mediocre. The only morals that are great are morals of my own formation, distinctive morals of my own, done on my own with no aid and no assistance, it’s difficult to construct these easy and simple morals. It’s difficult to invent them without getting your arse kicked. It probably was a vow of mine to live in a modest way. My morals tend to freak people out, they’re different to your morals and cause a reaction. Given any vows or not do you have any idea how they became acceptable? Years of trial and error, it takes eleven years to invent your own morals and get it right, morality can take a long time to invent, it denies the intellectual lessons you learn from ethics, morality is anti-intellectual.

Brett Miller says:

Leo, great video, but watching your vids is breaking my Sadhana.

raffaella says:

Leo, I remember many important or less important situations that I know have shaped my adult life, but I do not remember having made any vow, at least consciously! is it possible?

Alex Dail says:

How with out becoming neurotic about it raise my children, who have mild to moderate developmental delays, from falling into the trap of vows rather than making conscious decisions? That is. what is a way to teach this to children that would be clear enough for a 4 year old to grasp?

Jane Love says:

That IS an absolutely A-grade Christmas hat.

Jane Love says:

Some great suggestions. Thanks Leo.

Why did you have make the close-minded, judgemental, limited-understanding, envious comment about Donald Trump. Donald Trump rocks for so many reasons. Mainly because he has great potential to save the arses of so many close-minded, judgemental, limited-understanding envious Americans and God how you need it.

DANiEL says:

Yes, I agree.

It seems, we ‘need’ the maverick president Donald Trump much more than we have ever imagined. It has been said, that the last ‘true president of the USA’ was John Kennedy, and He was ‘erased’ because He had ‘heart’ (for the people), let’s hope, that Mr. Trump has similar qualities.

Lou says:

Such turmoil creates a Devil and a God. The difference is the eyes that behold them. It matters not who said what; Revering either is an act of the blind. Let’s just stand together and let differences fall on deaf ears.

Lee says:

Once again Leo you have me nodding my head like a mad man. It’s like you have a crystal ball tucked away. keep it safe, keep it secret. But I’m afraid I have to go against what you have just said and make a concrete VOW to listen to all you say and apply your techniques, and when I look back to this point in the future I will have a very clear memory of which fork I followed. Merry crimbo Leo.

SantaHat Critic says:

More importantly though : Why is the fluffy hat bobble dangling from a piece of string?
That just doesn’t seem to be correct.

Victor says:

Hey Leo. What are your thoughts about Jordan Peterson?

Newman says:

There’s one thing I do not understand. Say I made a vow to never jump off a cliff. How is that wrong? I mean, surely if some allien told me that he is going to destory the whole world unless I jump off that cliff, then I would jump in order to save the world. But unless I’m in some extraordinary situation like that, I don’t see what is wrong with that vow. And that vow is not just a perspective I have about the world, based on emotions or beliefs: I’m pretty sure there’s a big chance for me to die if I jump off a cliff.

I actually need an answer to this, because I was thinking about trust these last days. I thought it is reasonable to always leave room in your mind that the person you are dealing with might screw you over and he might do it in a way you never though possible. It might leave you thinking “he was such a nice guy, how could he do something so horrific as this?” So I thought that no person and no sitation should be completely trusted. Now, that does not mean that I will always try to take action to protect myself in case something bad happens, that would be impossible and impractical, but if an important situation comes along, I’m going to be prepared for anything to happen. That means, I will not just expect it to play out right, even if everyone else tells me that it will. If there is a possibility that it might go awfully wrong, I will be on the lookout for that possibility. That is not to say that I will be afraid of it and always try to avoid
any risks, and I will definitely never be 100% prepared. But even 10% is better than nothing. So if that thing actually happens, while everyone around me is shocked, stunned and still try to think it through, I will be able to take action on it.

I think it is important to have a procedure in mind. Of course, you can’t react the same to all the situations that can happen because some are more nuanced than others, but you also can’t rely fully on your spontaneity to solve everything. So if something like an engine failure occurs, maybe you won’t be able to solve it by applying the same solution as you did the last time, but if you’re prepared for it, you will eventually figure out a similar solution. If you’re not at all prepared.

The vow to not jump of a cliff can expand to many areas of life, basically it can become not taking a risk.

Gene pfeifer says:

Hay there Leo
You did another good Visio and I appreciate your perspective. I think every person on Earth has made vows; It’s part of learning how to survive, and we both know It is not a perfect world.Your ideaology does help to see where we go off course, the variables are numbedous wind changes. We can’t change the past but recogonize the pit falls for the present; a person can ware out their time trying to fix the future yet we must all grow toward It. We are all Individual very much. Love and Forgive it all and Hope it will be Ok tomorrow. Yes!

Victor says:

Hey Leo, don’t you think that depression, homosexuality and karma are purely very ancient Epigenetics mechanisms, which are meant to defend dna of social beings from individualistic threatening behavior?
I.e. in wolves, wolf should become head of the pack, but shouldn’t destroy other wolves, because there will be no pack then and if he does, that’s bad genes and they self-destruct in such being.
And in humans it’s more complicated but same principal apply and let’s say in Crime and Punishment – it’s not just metaphysical karma, but very real epi-marks which triggers expressions of certain genes which should self-destruct such being by sending him into underworld (depression, suffering, etc) .

Pwnprince says:

Hey Leo. Love your work. Is there any meditation method you can use to tune in on, and release from a specific programming you feel is unwanted.. I’v been manic about pickup theory for a while back, and you can guess how that went. But now i feel totally ready to go natural, but the mechanics are holding me back. I can’t help to over analyze every detail because i deliberately brainwashed myself back then…
Hope you know a method.. I’ll see you in the void peace out!!

bunny says:

That was worth watching Leo!!! Keep up the good work..
It would surely help a lot. THANK YOU
and your hat’s very cute.

Ali Rida says:

Leo, just for curiosity, what do you think of Alan Watts?

phil ct says:

Ahh! Thank you leo for bringing to my attention of my vow that I will never be like that bum on the street. Things sure start to clear up as one becomes aware of ones own actions and why they are happening. Also like you said the obsession of ensuring that I will never be broke does absolutely bring upon it’s own faults.

Martin says:

Hey thank you for you videos leo/ I really want to work on that worksheet but can’t open it. Any ideas anybody?

Mohit says:

Hey leo, I have watched and applied this stuff and it was so unexpected that it took so much emotional energy a nd even 2weeks but that explained most of the things that I have been doing in my life and now I am clear about a lot of things
I am working on these vows and trying to grow from it by breaking these childhood fears along with vows.
Thank you leo !!

Max Gron says:

When before I wrote a list of whatever happened in reaction to something from birth to 25 years, now I can confidently say what my vows were in a lecture book, not stating them here, and I think in letting them go, I will force myself to from that and in these manners live a better and, dare I say it, more successful life, now that I untangled my morality as distinguished from my trauma, I’m sticking to it, as things unlike they were 15 years ago in year 2008 up until 5 years ago in 2017 are very different.

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