How To Stop Backsliding

By Leo Gura - May 18, 2015 | 55 Comments

Solutions for how to deal with homeostasis.

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rod gratz says:

What is the author and title of one of your top 10 books you mentioned in your video on ‘backsliding’?

Alle says:

Masrery – by George Leonard

Uldis says:

George Leonard – Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment.
Outstanding book.
Reversed my paradigm 180 degrees.

Optimist says:

Leo,

I have been following your videos for few months now but I must say this one tops them all. I have been the victim of backsliding many times with changes I want to create in life but I have not stopped trying. This video is a big help to me to not only get back on track but most importantly “stay on it”. Thank you so much for shooting this video, timing could not have been better.

donna says:

Great video Leo. It’s awesome what you can conquer when you know, ahead of time, how your brain is going to act when it’s in ‘protect mode’ : )

Take care

Colin says:

Leo,

Thank you for providing this video, clears away lots of self doubt makes sense of my experiences and restores hope.

I now understand why my meditation practice came to an end.

Again thank you

Marjorie says:

The biggest change i suffered was when i dropped out of college, since then everything i tried to do in my life was not fulfilling. My desires to attempt to change a bad habit, or jump up the corporate ladder, was neither successful, all my attempts failed, because of this backsliding. Until one day, i decided to wake up and go back to school, all for the sake of improving of being stuck in the same place, and falling on my face, when i get to the middle, not necessarily the top of success.

I feel i am setting the ground work at such a late age, but, i also believe that meditation will help me, see a potential failure come about, regardless of achieving that degree i’m working towards. The fact that the benefits of helping my consciousness mind, with being aware of preventing the same failures as before, is only possible with practicing a natural technique, that can help me stay inline with my goals, because if not, then i just know, i will fall back into going back into the same place in life where i lost so much time, so many years.

I will practice negotiating with my emotional labor, to see my goals get passed that comfort zone, then going back to homeostasis, and push my energy more, to see changes come about, and to help me achieve for the rest of my life from ever going back to homeostasis. Thank you Leo, thank you, i know i could never have found this informational lecture any where else if it wasn’t for “Actualized.org”

Elton says:

Hey leo you should consider putting the like button on the comments section …

rufaro says:

Leo , you’r great !
At present im in such back sliding on doing meditation because of hospitality . But now , i understood that homeostatis .
Thanks alot !

Matthew Fleming says:

Leo,
I laughed out loud at your Star Wars “nerd” comment. Thank you for that laugh, it lightened my evening after a long day.
More importantly and to the point of my comment; I have had some real positive changes taking place in my life. Besides a select few members of my family and only ever-so-slightly my best friend, your dedication to us (the viewers) has been my support system, my guide, my source of wisdom. If I find myself off-course on my personal development, I very often find that it has also been nearly two weeks or greater since I sat down and viewed your material. I don’t want you to go anywhere, but if you do, please leave all your blessings behind for us!
I have tried spreading the word to my peers about you, but unfortunately the people in my social circles are stuck in homeostasis. I have greater ambitions.
I have gradually increased my income over the last five years, and now I’m taking an even greater leap forward with my new job. I will soon be on my feet and completely out of debt by 2016. I will finally be living on my own again after all my youthful indiscretions; June 8, 2015 is my move-in date. I have my game plan together, and I hope to swing my entire center of gravity to a whole new plane!
After today’s release of your Backsliding video, I have my sights back on meditation and visualization.
Thank you again, Leo.

Chris says:

Leo,

I love your videos and really agree with and try to implement everything you talk about into my life.

However, lately I realized I haven’t been as attracted to my girlfriend of six months who I was just not too long ago crazy about. It seems as if I am getting sick of her and the relationship for no reason at all. I was wondering if this was homeostasis kicking in, or whether it’s a stage and will pass, or whether it is actually a big problem.

Hope I get a reply or even better an email!

Jen says:

Awesome video and perfect timing for me. I needed something and wasn’t sure what it was. This was it. Posting these videos for free is such an amazing service to others. While I’m working on improving my intrinsic motivation, your videos tend to be the most effective external trigger for me. Also, congrats on doing so well with your commitment to daily meditation! I can’t help but crave more people like you in my life.

Todd Hirsch says:

This is your best video ever Leo! Great insight!

@ Chris, great question and I am in a similar situation and looking forward to a reply from Leo.

Thanks for the great work you do Leo!

shahan says:

thank you

Jasmine says:

Thank you for this video. I’m a big follower of your videos and ideas of self actualization. I really was kinda falling away from them and now I know why. Homeostasis. This brought me to tears. When you said just change one thing at a time as to not get overwhelmed and fail on all attempts. This is great advice. Also you really helped me to see just how important meditation is going to be overall. It is a difficult one to implement. I have tasted some of that higher level stuff in the past. I had the life of my dreams. I was proud of myself on almost every front in my life. Something happened that I didn’t see coming and I was not prepared for and now I’m further away than ever before. It has bee five years of dreaming of that life and wanting it back. So here I am. I’m actually making an attempt at a better life. Again….

Elisa says:

Leo: I really enjoyed this video. I don’t often take the time to watch the whole video but I really appreciate your work. You always make me laugh when you throw the f bombs in too. You’re awesome. Thanks!

Wendy says:

hi Leo,

This video helped me realize that I have often tried to change too many things at one time – no wonder I struggled and then gave up. Just eating healthier for two weeks and using supplements for one week – many small things have changed for the better just on their own. This is encouraging and I want to begin meditation next. But also I want to be careful about too much change too quickly so I don’t backslide or burn out.

I have a new understanding of balance vs. homeostasis now…. very cool.

I have gained so much insight from your videos, thank you for what you do!

Marga says:

Excellent video with great insight, thank you!!!

Francisca says:

Hi!
This is the first time I’m writting for you, but I’m following you for almost one year. I’m coping with social anxiety, that’s why i started to follow you. I already took up coaching which gave me a breakthrough, but I still have limiting beliefs, and a lot of time I feel like I’m invisible. But few weeks ago I started to practicing mindfullness during the day, and observing myself, my reactions. And now I feel like I understand what you were talking about, because I’m doing the same thing, negotiating with myself. When I realise I want to avoid an unconvenient situation I start a conversation, and try to convience myself that there’s no danger at all, and it’s only my amygdala ( am i right?) that creates the physical side affects, and blocks my mind.
I realised these days only that meditation would be very important to me, as I see how helpful is practicing mindfulness for me.
And the thing you said about the gym and illness. It happened to me. This year I lost 4 kgs, I wasn’t fat I just wasnt satisfied with my body completely. After loosing the weight, I wanted to be slimmer, but I caught an illness, which stopped me for 2 weeks from going to the gym. And that 2 weeks became 2 months by now. Luckily I didnt put back the weight, because I kept my diet. Today I went to the gym again, and called a coach again.
I’m writting you from Hungary. Thank you for sharing your toughts, they are really helpful! Keep going!

Leo Gura says:

Good! Keep working at it. Keep sticking to your vision of a self-actualized life and you’ll grow into it.

MariAnne says:

Hello Leo!

I really enjoy watching your profound videos.
I am studying to become a coach and I am searching for all kinds of self improvement books and videos. At the moment I am reading Psycho- cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz for my self development but also something that I might use in my practise. I was glad to get notified that you had made a video on the subject and I just want to say that I find your videos to be most helpful.
Thank you and keep up the good work

Sincerely:
Mari-Anne

Liviu says:

Hi Leo!

When the parents want for their children to follow the same carrer pattern like them is because of homeostasis?

Elton says:

Probably because as it has worked best for them they think that it might work best for you, so if you oppose their way of thinking they might feel insecure about you , and that insecurity might lead to needless complications; the way to resist that is to be so grounded and so confident and taking action (even baby steps for what you want to acheieve 10 years from now) such that you convince yourself first entirely what you want to be that they see a promising future in you .You can convince yourself entirely by expanding your consiousness , which will come from ?????? The Meditation Habbit !!!

Ashray says:

Habits work Kinda like the butterfly effect.

Nicole says:

Leo,
Have you heard of Trent Shelton the motivational speaker? He travels around to different parts of America and gives relationship advice speeches. He’s still a YouTube sensation, but its cool that he goes above and beyond that and continues to spread his message to a public audience! I think you should consider that! I mean, you’d make a ton of money (because i’d obviously bring all of my friends to see you) and you could expand your horizons a bit. I would love if you would consider that and then come somewhere near southwest Michigan for your first tour date, or even Chicago for that matter. I’d be up for a little road trip!

aharon smith says:

Great video! Boy meditation has changed my life! That was a serious missing link for me. I’ve been doing some form of mindfulness for a couple of months and have reached different levels i didn’t know i had. My business is doing much beret and i have a sense of peace.

Leo have you ever heard of Joseph Campell? He wrote a book caked the hero with a thousand faces, talks about this stuff.

Mary says:

OMG, thank you Leo! It takes so much effort for me to move forward. I am overwhelmed with all I want to do that I don’t know where to start, so I do nothing. The mental energy alone is draining. Perhaps it is pure laziness. I did manage to finish college, but can’t seem to re-build a business after a divorce. I get negative thoughts like, “What’s the point? I lost so much in a divorce I’m paralyzed and shell shocked.” I will use this information that I am sitting still because I think it’s safe and secure, but it surely is not. It’s nothingness. That’s no damn place to be!! Thanks Leo.

auchomage says:

Hey Leo
A great video, you said many things that were useful to me.

I now understand about the ’emotional labour’, which I have been experiencing a lot this year. I thought that by ‘easing off’, I was slacking now I know better.

Meditation which you have strongly recommended, I will revisit your videos, but I found that because I found it so difficult to meditate, I end up visualising what I want for myself, I can maintain that thought far more easily than with meditation, where I think of ‘nothing’. However, as you have said, returning to a failed endeavor will increase my chance of success.

Thank you.

Thomas J says:

You fucking rock Leo

Camelia says:

Great video! I love your work, Leo! It is life changing!

jack says:

Hi, where is the Video Transcript?…please share it

Thank you so much Leo for this best video.

Calvin Nevol says:

It must be hard to do this type of video after the enlightenment section.
I know it was confusing for me.
Who is to be self actualized ? Are we not already?
What self needs help and if it could be, would it or would the idea that there was some need of a self to help be another story that would keep ruminating its way into other stories even after its accomplishment, never being satisfied.

Maybe some people feel flow when they are engaged and waking up early and accomplishing some big goal. Where as others find it in simplicity and community or lazing about or whatever. Either way one is not better then the other.
Maybe people feel so guilty and shameful when they are not “accomplishing” that it drives them to be crazy people who tirelessly work to keep there mask on of “human who has it together” “attractive” “achieving” or whatever game it is your going on about.
Not you specifically Leo, the you that is me and the masses thinking that there is something wrong, something to be improved or “actualized”

Truth is there nothing you can do about anything,

Anyway,
Your videos are cool, i always check in every few weeks and shall continue to do so.
pce

Leo Gura says:

There doesn’t have to be anything wrong to want to grow and expand yourself.

Calvin Nevol says:

There is nothing wrong with growing as much as there is anything right about it.

After Satori there sits an ordinary old man.

Respect dude,
Thanks for all the free content and doing something that I am sure speaks to many people in times of searching.

Anna says:

Leo , you mentioned you are working on a course for “self actualization” coming up soon. Can you give more details please?

Leo Gura says:

I’m working on a life purpose course, which will teach you how to discover and implement your core purpose in life and get on a track with an awesome career. Coming soon!

Anna says:

Great! Will be waiting for more info on the matter
Keep up the great work!

Shankar Prasad says:

You’re awesome. Recently I attended 10 day Vipassana meditation. It was awesome. Helped me a lot. Once I returned from the camp, found it challenging to practice at home. However, will give my best to do it everyday.

Preeda says:

Leo,
This old lady is learning so much from you, thank you!
Can I adopt you?
Preeda

Michael says:

I guess I’m a Rio (2011 film) nerd! haha!

Alexey says:

Hi Leo,

I’m doing selfdevelopment work, much of wich comes from your material. However I begin to have some negative phenomena in the head like heaviness, discomfort, decline of conciousness, specifically during cultivating of true optimism believe. Could you kindly provide some article/book/insight on how to tackle such thing.

Best regards,
Alexey

Elton says:

check how to stop backsliding video

Paul says:

Loved the Star Wars comments. Literally busted out loud with a laugh. Hilarious. And I agree on the meditation advice. It’s the linchpin to it all…

-PT

Alon says:

Hi Leo,

I really enjoy your videos, but in this one there’s something that I couldn’t understand.

on the one hand you say – negotiate,
on the other hand you say – 100% commitment
could you please clarify that?

thanks

Simply Awesome Leo !!!

neil says:

I came up with Mastery by Robert Greene. 11 hrs omg! Freaking loving it so far. I am a traveling man so it really appeals to me.

neil says:

by the way, this is possibly my favorite video Leo!

Ellen says:

Love this video. Love you, Leo! You never fail to motivate me.

Anish says:

Hey Leo

Great Video.Very eye-opening and understanding homeostasis explains a lot about how Ive been doing lately.Its actually helped me understand more about myself and how to keep motivated and pushing myself to my ultimate human potential.

ROSE says:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!! You are awesome. You got me thinkin about a lot of things. I’m so glad I ran across you video. I have learned to much . Thanks for showing me how to meditate I have been doing it for the last three weeks. Thanks to you I will keep doing it its helps a lot. You are so smart. I would love to meet someone like you when I get better with my self….. YOU THE MANNNNNNNN…..O…..I LOVE YOUR NAME! SWEEEEEEEEET.

me says:

Hey Leo,

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease answer this. Is punishing yourself for backsliding effective or harmful? I heard that monks do this all the time such as stabbing themselves or standing under freezing water if they have a bad thought but psychologists say that punishment is a bad approach.
I’m not saying you should stab yourself but I can see how forcing yourself to do 50 push-ups if you relapse into a bad habit might help. What do you think?

Ash says:

Hi Leo

Probably one of your key transformational videos ‘must watch’.

I think meditation has to be a key change, first and foremost because it makes us more a aware (therefore leads to catalyst reaction to all the other things we need to do in our lives).

So all the other changes fall into place.

Thank you for your insights. I may not always agree with all aspects of your advice but this video I agree 100%.

So as they say ‘Just Do It’

Ash

mark says:

Hi Leo,thanks for this video,i was beginning to lose the will,theres always an answer if your prepared to look for it,cheers your an inspiration

jeni says:

Leo, thank you. So much fantastic advice in this video, and so many really useful practical tips. I watched this just at the right time…and will no doubt watch it a few times more. Been following you for what must be going on 2 years now…is that possible? Have you been doing the vids that long? I know it was around the time my dad passed away, as I was searching for something (help and healing) and I found you and all your wonderful videos. I visit your site about 5 times a week to either re-hear something or see what’s new.

You’ve helped me so much. I’ve shared your site with so many friends so they can benefit too. From all of us watching you here in the UK…..CHEERS PAL!!!

Jimmy Feiling says:

HEALTH TIP

Raisins are a good natural source of energy

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Replying To: Ashray