Feminine vs Masculine Compassion

By Leo Gura - May 11, 2015 | 29 Comments

The two flavors of compassion you didn’t know existed.

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Kay says:

Great video. I liked the fact that the videos are getting even more sophisticated. Thanks. You are the guy.

Yash says:

Hey Leo,
Amazing video.I have a question for you about a point you made in the video. So, if you are not conscious enough than are you not likely to providing any kind of valued compassion in a right way or will it be only limited to your own goodness not for others? or if a person has higher level of consciousness, is it necessary that he is providing you right amount of compassion?

Elton says:

compassion comes naturally , so when you give compassion to others you do it either consciously or un-consciously or sub-consciously (i don’t know the difference between them two ) well… i think it would be better if you provide compassion consciously because naturally you would provide either masculine or feminine; either one of the two , but when you are conscious enough you will know which one suits the situation and will be wise enough to switch between the two if you have to …

Marjorie says:


Thank you for sharing this knowledge with the public. Knowing the two sides helps me to take more risks. I used to think when i hear people in the business world, take the masculine side of compassion, that it was too cold, but now i see and understand why it should be this way.

I am truly grateful how you choose the way to explain all your knowledge on self awareness. Its easy to follow and understood in a way one can cherish it for themselves, if the public chooses to. Instead of a lot of sophisticated doctorate wording where, if the IQ is not on your level, then, the right thing to do is to find information spoken enough where you can understand it.

Again, i thank you.

Elton says:

Thanks a lot Leo … much needed video ..

Mark says:

Yet again, thankyou.

Jean says:

Hi Leo,
Thanks a lot for this video. It gives me the opportunity to see compassion from both sides of the coin and also to reflect on them as to when to use one or the other depending on the situation I’m facing at that moment. Great job!

neil byrne says:

Hi Leo can you please reply to my question, I am addicted to smoking and smoking weed alcohol porn and masterbating and also to heavy metal music, i have been addicted to online computer gaming for many years aswell but i dont play much anymore but every once ina while i ‘binge’ computer game for awhile. I cant seem to quit all of these things, I have tried but after a few days I feel like a ‘ticking time bomb’ and then i give in, I have been trying to give up all of these things for years but have not succeeded yet.

I know you are super busy but I would very much appreciate it if you could give me your best advice on how to become disciplined

Elton says:

dude , even i gave up smoking after 8 years .. take one thing at a time … I tried quitting for others but i relapsed, you will succeed when you do it for yourself , align your values with yourself first like health is wealth … identify why you are really doing all this; is it escapism or a need or a emotional crutch .. be mindful about it , you can also do self hypnosis whatever helps you is good . meditation is the key to control your mind . remember it will take time as you have gained a great momentum in all this …

Elton says:

and watch Leo’s videos on bad habits , willpower , mindfulness , ego…

neil byrne says:

thanks Elton for you advice much appreciated

Maryam says:


I think I’ve literally never used the masculine approach. And I’m really afraid to do it.


Elton says:

no your not fear is just a state of mind

Natasha says:

I used to know and use feminine compassion only, that is until I had my son. When I figured my soft all-hoping approach to compassion was not working well enough, I was forced to self-educate myself on how boys work and what worked for them. Thus, more masculine compassion. When my husband passed away a few years ago, employing both feminine and masculine compassion became even more relevant. I have learned how to keep balance between the two, and as long as my son knows he is unconditionally accepted, respected, valued, supported and appreciated as a human being, tough love then, when due, will always be received well without any feelings of resentment/ rebellion. I respect his space and never judge him. My son is 16 now and we have a great relationship. He often joins me in watching the self-actualization videos and has been maturing nicely. I learn quite a bit from him as well – when he asserts himself, uses his problem solving skills, his leadership qualities, etc. And his way to compassion appears to be a balanced one too – he can be gentle and encouraging in some situations, while show firm resolve in others. Learning the balance between the two, to my opinion, is really the key.

Maryam says:

You talked about how if you get truly enlightened, you’ll see everyone as yourself thus you wouldn’t be hurting anyone!

I’ve been thinking about this. A belief in almost all religions is that “Treat others as you would want them to treat you.” It sounds like the mainstream idea of what you were talking. Right?

Some parts of Religions are basically the truth in a mainstream way. Which is why it’s better to ditch all the beliefs (Religious/World beliefs/Science) and look at reality from above.

I admit, I’m not there yet. It really sounds hard and scary to do it! I’m Literally scared to death…

Elton says:

Maryam .. fear is not real … so don’t get scared

Maryam says:

oh, thanks

Alfonzo says:

Great video! Straight to the point.
Thank you

Marica says:

1. Feminine compassion can also be used for your own good. What you feel is good for them may be just a projection of your own values.

2. What kind of compassion you tend to use can be dependent on the relationship between the other person, not just on your temperament.

Thanks says:

Hi Leo,sic of me yet?anyways asking for advice.Theres this irony right this that my self absorbed neediness is the root to having girls feel uncomfortable.Yet the solution(not the only one yet a good one)is talking to as many womwn as possable. so me being ease with them will come overtime. Any advice into changing my thinking from “im not enough,i dont deserve her” to “Im fukin killin it and shes just a bonus? Guys who have this “IM A BOSS” mindset women have there guard down and trust him,see him as a sexworthy guy. And yet the guy with apussy mind set,how he comes across in scarcity always has her guard up being suspicios of his intentions even if hes super grin like old lady nice she just doesnt respct that at all like the deal breaker of detachtment so imprtant. so any ideas on attractive mindsets?

Elton says:

the easiest thing to do is shit priority to life purpose , haven’t you had an experience in your life where you have felt really happy because you have achieved something you always wanted ? work on self deeply take complete responsibility 100 percent … confidence , humor , non neediness learn to have amazing sex, security , social status , looks … get all those in place first . Watch videos on how to be attractive , how to make a girl fall in love with you , how to be masculine , relationship advice . always remember knowledge is power .

mich says:

Hi, I am fan! i recognize that I have mostly masculine compassion with other people and feminine about animals. I literally loose sleep after seeing or hearing cruelty towards any animal, I can’t get it out of my head and sometimes revisit the thoughts many times. How do you deal with compassion with the things you see on the news or social media?

Leo Gura says:

Rule #1: Stop watching new or social media.

mich says:

Thank you for replying, ok, your answer made me smile

Alex says:

Please do a video on the difference between compassion and guilt. I can’t seem to find any straight answers

Nat says:

So if a person starts crying almost every time he/she hears a sad story or watches a sad movie, is it a sign of extended comparison and high consciousness OR over-sensitivity and neurotic issues?

This was an amazing video, i really like it thank you for sharing this kind of information with us. This is very interesting and impressive video and helpful for everyone. Excellent work keep it up.

Monika says:

beautifully presented and explained. your thoughts and knowledge were frown. big thanks Leo

Monika says:

were flowing.

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