How To Become Charismatic?

[undeather]

Hey guys,

Charisma is one of the topics that interests me the most when it comes to social dynamics and human psychology. I have read several books about it and I work hard to become more charismatic in my everyday life - its think its just a huge tool to make people feel good around you or adding massive positive value while still getting into the right direction for success and leadership. Its also works wonders with women which is definitely another factor for me why it want to work on this.

So my question for you is the following:
What are your experiences with charismatic people? Whats are the most important character traits to work on? What is your opinion?

Curious for your answers,

undeather

[Guest]

For me a charisma comes within I cannot be faked. Women can also be charismatic. A charismatic person can solve problems in hard times. S/he always keeps his/her word. A charismatic person knows how to dress and behave in any situation. These people make you feel safe when they are around. They don't talk too much but when they talk they say things that you would never forget.

[Arman]

Lets talk about the old adage 'just be yourself'

I think to a lot of people it is something that sounds nice to say out loud but that most don't really believe. Like if you wanted to go to a party and someone said to 'just be yourself' then you might say, 'well being myself would involve gravitating towards someone I know, being quiet, not meeting new people' - so why would I want to be myself?

I think the truth is that a lot of our behavior isn't authentic expression. Given any social interaction, there are layers and layers of emotional and social conditioning. What are people thinking of me? How do I look? Am I dressed well? Am I standing the right way? What ideas are appropriate and what aren't? Am I being judged? Does this person like me? 

Even if people aren't conscious of these things, all these factors are impacting their ability to express themselves. The problem is, that those things don't really have anything to do with you or I. That stuff is all imprinted as a result of the collective and it's really inhibiting. When we become aware of these subconscious factors by becoming conscious of how we feel, think and what we're motivated by, then we have a chance to overcome them. 

When these issues aren't identified or resolved, even when someone is externally coming off as charismatic, at best it is like a cheap magic trick. People aren't fooled for long and we can sense that the energy is distorted because the fear is still there. However someone who has worked through this stuff can now be closer to their truer self. Authenticity is something that resonates and appeals to us on a deep level. It's attractive and invigorating. I think that's what is meant by being yourself. 

So I think part 1 of charisma is to become aware of the emotional and social factors that are inhibiting you and working through them. Part 2 is to lead a fulfilling and purpose driven life. If you're purposeless and without any seriously deep core values, then your charisma is going be seriously limited. It's a lot easier to be charismatic when your life rocks. I'd then say part 3 is to take action steps. A large part of charisma is learning to work with social energy and momentum and taking steps to be more assertive and have socialization as something second nature. So practice practice practice. 

Edited February 14, 2016 by Arman

[Walter B]

So true. I found charisma with awareness takes on an entirely different meaning. It makes one realize their "people pleasing" conditioning and to be one's self is not that at all. Creating or finding a life that breaths life back into you is truly a "life that rocks"! 

It can be a very tricky transition, but being conscious of the difference between the old life and the possible new life is the first step. Goodness, practice is it! As long as one doesn't let that drain them and turn them back into the old person.

[JevinR]

Identity 

[Lifes2short]

I think it is important to know your self worth, you have to behave in a way where you don't care what people think about you, you have to genuinely not care. If you have the mind set "i'm just going to behave how I feel like, if people don't like it, that is their problem", it shows a bit of power because you are not succumbing to conventional social conditions.

I also think humour is a great one too, If you are funny, do not be afraid to use it, even poke fun at yourself to make others laugh, this creates a positive atmosphere, and people will want to be around you more because of how you make them feel emotionally.

Another good one is taking a genuine interest in what people have to say, if you ask them questions or whatever, and you can respond to these questions, it shows you are paying attention, people love this because lets face it, everybody wants to talk about themselves haha.

Being positive is a great one too, even if someone is talking negative, transform the conversation into something positive, you will find more people will want to talk to you.

Charisma is something that you cannot physically see, or touch, it is not tangible, it is some form of energy that floats around you, it is just there.