Spiritual Warrior

How to deal with criticism?

21 posts in this topic

I've been putting myself out there more and it has elicited unwanted criticism. How does someone deal with this and not let criticism shape his self image? 

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By directly feeling the intelligence of criticism.


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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1 hour ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Why don't you use your words?

Is that a criticism. 


Thought = Time. Without thought there's no time. Death is the end of the illusion.

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4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Is that a criticism. 

Yes it is :S

I'm sorry @Raze

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Is the criticism correct and/or useful (in other words are there changes I need to make?)

Then you welcome the criticism, make changes and PROFIT.

Is it not correct/fair/constructive? Ignore it.

"Self-image" is beside the point.  There is what's true and what isn't.

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53 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Yes it is :S

I'm sorry @Raze

Lol


Thought = Time. Without thought there's no time. Death is the end of the illusion.

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The subtle art of not giving a f*ck. The single most helpful idea/practice mark manson shares. 

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19 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

I've been putting myself out there more and it has elicited unwanted criticism. How does someone deal with this and not let criticism shape his self image? 

A rule of thumb can be:

 

- is it valid?

- if it's valid, should one care? 

- if it's valid, who is dispensing this and it what context?

- if it's invalid, one can ignore it.

 

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fault-finders know you better and are more helpful that followers

distinguish between what is painful and what is spiteful

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3 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

- is it valid?

Criticism is valid from a certain point of view. Understanding how the person’s mindset dictates their behavior leads to less resistance and more empathy.


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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35 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Criticism is valid from a certain point of view. Understanding how the person’s mindset dictates their behavior leads to less resistance and more empathy.

You don't need to consider the other person's mindset because it's irrelevant; you only need to objectively, honestly self-introspect to see whether it's valid and actionable.  

42 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

distinguish between what is painful and what is spiteful

Yeah, that's an excellent distinction.

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3 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

You don't need to consider the other person's mindset because it's irrelevant; you only need to objectively, honestly self-introspect to see whether it's valid and actionable.  

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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2 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.

Your mindset and feelings aren't even your own muchless others. 


Thought = Time. Without thought there's no time. Death is the end of the illusion.

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5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.

Only if I'm projecting that energy onto the other person to play out; but in some cases he could be projecting onto me, which would have nothing to do with my issues.

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All of this is true from our unique perspectives and I am feeling the vibes


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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I have this ratio for taking criticism.

90 % of the case I think criticism you get is just a projection of the insecurity of the projector. It maybe contains some truth. You will passively-agressively hear it, just ignore it. I would call this criticism "let me give yoh advice you didn't ask for and I haven't even reflected on or purposely avoid reflecting on it, hence i am projecting to all of you"

9 % of the criticism is somewhat constructive and the person criticizing has some insight about the topic they are criticizing you. You can acctually engage back and forth.

1 % of criticism I take, and reflect. This is good news. I am criticized by somebody who cares about me and is smarter than me. Why I know he is smarter? He lives the lifestyle I want and is far more competent in the field. You can reason with him and he wants to help you.

How to acctually deal with it emotionally, there are techniques, but you can direct message me and I will tell you.

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