at_anchor

How to approach a cute guy?

41 posts in this topic

How do I go out and find myself a boyfriens? It would be so good to have one. But first you have to own a car and have some money to go around. It's just that I can't have these things. It will get much worse, but let's say I am left with 10 more days to find a boyfriend or I never will find one. Give me emergency tips.

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Wrapping your identity over what you have while neglecting what you are is a trap.


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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17 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Wrapping your identity over what you have while neglecting what you are is a trap.

what am I,  God?  i don't feel so

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3 hours ago, at_anchor said:

How do I go out and find myself a boyfriens? It would be so good to have one. But first you have to own a car and have some money to go around. It's just that I can't have these things. It will get much worse, but let's say I am left with 10 more days to find a boyfriend or I never will find one. Give me emergency tips.

Very easy. 

  • Figure out what role you have for a man in your life. 
  • Look for men who can play that role. 
  • Go to them and ask them for 'help'. For example, if you'd like a man who can lift you when he makes love to you, go to a buff dude and ask him to help you carry stuff. 
  • Thank him and give him a compliment as you do. 
  • If he picks up on the hint, you're set. 

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4 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

what am I,  God?  i don't feel so

I’m not referring to spiritual identity.

You don’t have to act a certain way to have a deep connection with another. Needing yourself or another to be a certain way is detrimental to building a strong relationship. 


“Why was the math book always alone? Because it had too many problems to solve on its own!“ -Claude 3 Opus

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5 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Very easy. 

  • Figure out what role you have for a man in your life. 
  • Look for men who can play that role. 
  • Go to them and ask them for 'help'. For example, if you'd like a man who can lift you when he makes love to you, go to a buff dude and ask him to help you carry stuff. 
  • Thank him and give him a compliment as you do. 
  • If he picks up on the hint, you're set. 

i'm looking for cute men I can dominate...

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40 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

i'm looking for cute men I can dominate...

Lmao I don't know what to make of this... 

Really though, if you want a boyfriend, get together with your girl friends, dress up real nice, and go to a bar(s). You will get hit on, take your pick. 

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56 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

i'm looking for cute men I can dominate...

Then go on a dating app/fetlife. Online dating is for you. DM whoever you want, you're set. 

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11 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Then go on a dating app/fetlife. Online dating is for you. DM whoever you want, you're set. 

there are not much people in my city on these dating sites. if i knew how to approach on the street, the bus and then close it would work.

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1 hour ago, at_anchor said:

there are not much people in my city on these dating sites. if i knew how to approach on the street, the bus and then close it would work.

Then move cities. 

You need a more liberal environment to do this. And, in less populated environments, you're not going to find men who will submit to you. Because the survival-conditions are harder, so the hierarchy-system between the sexes will not work out in your favor in these environments. 

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33 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Then move cities. 

You need a more liberal environment to do this. And, in less populated environments, you're not going to find men who will submit to you. Because the survival-conditions are harder, so the hierarchy-system between the sexes will not work out in your favor in these environments. 

yeah, I know.... moving cities is a big issue

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@at_anchor Are you a men or a women? How old are you?

Regardless you should socialize more. If your social circle isnt that big or doesnt allow for much new opportunities join some social group.

Edited by Jannes

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Just be physically attractive and not off putting. If you have extra pounds, weight training plus enough protein plus eating less will increase your options by an enormous margin. And consider makeup — it won’t make you prettier but it will make you look more receptive and hot.

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10 hours ago, at_anchor said:

 It will get much worse, but let's say I am left with 10 more days to find a boyfriend or I never will find one. 

Sounds really ominous! What's going on in your life? 

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I'm never gonna have a boyfriend  because I don't have money, a car or motorcycle, a place of my own maybe as well.

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1 hour ago, at_anchor said:

I'm never gonna have a boyfriend  because I don't have money, a car or motorcycle, a place of my own maybe as well.

Self-limiting beliefs. If you’re worth it then you’re worth it. But attractiveness is of course important for this, so if this is what you want, then yeah improving your attractiveness and putting yourself out there would be fruitful. Don’t you already know this? Can’t see your gender. You are a woman, right? If not then never mind I totally missed the mark.

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15 minutes ago, The0Self said:

Self-limiting beliefs. If you’re worth it then you’re worth it. But attractiveness is of course important for this, so if this is what you want, then yeah improving your attractiveness and putting yourself out there would be fruitful. Don’t you already know this? Can’t see your gender. You are a woman, right? If not then never mind I totally missed the mark.

I'm also a man. I'd probably only be a man if circumstances allowed it. I want a passive/bottom  boyfriend. What is not clear?  Some men are so ugly, but they have the money, the car, the right location and everything that they scam guys who would be happier with me to be with them.

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19 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

I'm also a man. I'd probably only be a man if circumstances allowed it. I want a passive/bottom  boyfriend. What is not clear?  Some men are so ugly, but they have the money, the car, the right location and everything that they scam guys who would be happier with me to be with them.

Yeah I guess it is mostly guys here but still if you’re seriously inquiring then you might as well include in your question that your gender is male in some way.

Dude if this is a serious inquiry I can help but damn was that beating around the bush. Is English your second language? if you’re looking for a passive/submissive bf that’s probably very similar to man-to-woman game, in which case just be confident and escalate… damn. Can’t imagine how much easier men are than women.

Though I guess you’d maybe want to search in places full of gay or bi people. Idk how common they are in your area or places of being. Really I’m not sure how it works but every gay (or bi or even bicurious) friend I have ever had has had no problem getting laid no matter what their situation. Guess getting a partner is different though, but if man-to-woman game is to be any sort of template, just believing in your own self worth 100% (i.e. “keepin’ it 100”) is literally the atomic bomb that deletes all problems you could ever have on the level of “scoring love.”

Edited by The0Self

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4 hours ago, The0Self said:

if you’re looking for a passive/submissive bf that’s probably very similar to man-to-woman game, in which case just be confident and escalate… damn. Can’t imagine how much easier men are than women.

I'd do it right now if I could. The point is that I don't know where to practice my game on guys here.

4 hours ago, The0Self said:

if man-to-woman game is to be any sort of template, just believing in your own self worth 100% (i.e. “keepin’ it 100”) is literally the atomic bomb that deletes all problems you could ever have on the level of “scoring love.”

I'm foolish or something... idk. practicality problems, etc.

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Tops are high value in clubs from what I have heard.

Also why not use Grindr? Is it impossible for you to travel longer distances?

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