LRyan

What Does Being Indecisive Mean?

15 posts in this topic

Why would someone be paralyzed by indecision and what can you do when you recognize this?  This has been an issue occurring in more than one area of my life for a very long time. 


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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Simple, you don't know what your values are or what you want out of life.

Probably because you've never seriously contemplated it.

Or you're just going through a big transition, which naturally leads to confusion.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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5 hours ago, LRyan said:

Why would someone be paralyzed by indecision and what can you do when you recognize this?

What is a decision? Chosing from a list of outcomes. Why would be paralyzed by a decision? Because you can't see the benefit of any single outcome over another. After all, this is at the heart of decision making: chosing the outcome that will serve you the most.

If you can't see an outcome that will serve you any more than any other outcome, then you have no idea what you really want. Either all outcomes serve you equally (in which case just pick one), or none of them serve you at all. Either way, you need to know what you want.

I think people get paralyzed also because they are trying to make decisions based on 'logic' and external presures, more than on intuition and desire. And also because you are probably trying to 'force' outcomes to fit the options available.

Get more in touch with your desires and intuition. Then there will not be any confusion or paralysis. You are most likely stuck because you are making decisions based on society, peer pressure, 'should' thoughts and everything else external to you. And fundamentally none of that stuff actually serves your inner desires so you have no guiding compass as to which way to go. There is an incongruency between what you want and what you think you should do.

Sometimes you need to be more subjective rather than objective when making decisions.

Edited by FindingPeace

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”  - Lao Tzu

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9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Simple, you don't know what your values are or what you want out of life.

Probably because you've never seriously contemplated it.

Or you're just going through a big transition, which naturally leads to confusion.

Thanks for your perspective.  I  believe what you said is all true.  I think I need to consciously become aware of what my values are because they may have changed.  I always knew what I wanted out of life was peace.  That thought has been occurring to me forever.

I am also in a big life transition. leaving a long marriage, living alone, work issues, physical issues. I see that it could cause a natural phase of confusion.  I have always relied on others to chime in and thus make decisions for me in the past so maybe now that I am alone I feel more obligated to take care of myself if that's what you meant?

Is fear involved in indecision?

 

Edited by LRyan

Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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5 hours ago, FindingPeace said:

What is a decision? Chosing from a list of outcomes. Why would be paralyzed by a decision? Because you can't see the benefit of any single outcome over another. After all, this is at the heart of decision making: chosing the outcome that will serve you the most.

If you can't see an outcome that will serve you any more than any other outcome, then you have no idea what you really want. Either all outcomes serve you equally (in which case just pick one), or none of them serve you at all. Either way, you need to know what you want.

I think people get paralyzed also because they are trying to make decisions based on 'logic' and external presures, more than on intuition and desire. And also because you are probably trying to 'force' outcomes to fit the options available.

Get more in touch with your desires and intuition. Then there will not be any confusion or paralysis. You are most likely stuck because you are making decisions based on society, peer pressure, 'should' thoughts and everything else external to you. And fundamentally none of that stuff actually serves your inner desires so you have no guiding compass as to which way to go. There is an incongruency between what you want and what you think you should do.

Sometimes you need to be more subjective rather than objective when making decisions.

I totally appreciated your input.  Yes, for one particular decision, I can't see the benefit of one outcome over the other or that  I CAN see two outcomes that would both benefit me so, I obviously have to go back to what  Leo and you both said and I don't know what I really want!

When there is external pressure then Intuition to me is in opposition to logic you hit that bang on.  So the question is how to resolve logic VS intuition??  Go back to learn what you value the most?

My desire is for Peace.  In all things....... so I try to not to make waves.  I try to take the path of least resistance.  BUT the path to least resistance in decision making can become an unclear path.  So that cannot be the best way too approach it.

I will have to get in touch with my inner self more which I am attempting to do through meditation and I will look into viewing things subjectively rather than objectively.  

I agree that doing things based on should thoughts will not serve any of us or help to make the correct decisions in life

 

 

 


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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@John Flores  Yes, trusting your gut can't be wrong can it?  I guess when you have never lived as someone who could trust their inner self for guidance, it must be a process or a gradual increase in that trust that brings you to the full place of knowing without being distressed by things that are not important.  Is that what you mean essentially?


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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@LRyan If you had intuition, you would already know the outcome and there would be no need for a choice.

Meditate and contemplate on what you want, then there also will be no need to make a choice.

 


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Thanks so much for the replies

@Nahm I meditate with a silent wish to have my heart speak to me. I believe I really know what to do.......its trust and not doubt...... When I trust, it's clear.  If I let my mind in then doubt appears and indecision.

Can you elaborate on IF I had intuition then I would know the outcome please?  So if someone doesn't have any intuition then they would struggle with choices?

I believe we all have intuition but maybe the trust is missing?

I found this quote on a set of cards I made years ago;

     "Our Doubts are Traitors and make us lose the Good we might oft Win by fearing to Attempt"  

                                                                                                                                   ~ Shakespeare

 

Edited by LRyan

Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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4 hours ago, LRyan said:

When I trust, it's clear.  If I let my mind in then doubt appears and indecision.

Good intuition.

I learnt that I never had, nor could have, enough info to make a proper decision, so I now don't try. I surrender and trust.

Good/bad, right/wrong are symptoms of the fearful mind. True/false is starting to move into the loving mind.

After moving into the loving mind/consciousness, there are no decisions to make as they only seem relevant in the fearful mind/consciousness - this, as you said, is trusting and being clear.

Edited by dorg

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@dorg  I guess that is what Nahm meant also....... ...if you only come from a place of loving consciousness then there is no choice?   Same with me, the harder I try to figure out what the most correct thing to do is, the further away from an answer I get.  Someone else simply stated it as over analyzing things.  I have always dissected things from every angle looking at possible outcomes/good/bad and then I get frozen in my thinking because it just doesn't work to try to decide things in that way.  Then I would call every member of my family and answer shop and let them decide for me!  Sounds like insanity...or it IS insanity.  I don't want to do that anymore, I cant.


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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34 minutes ago, Revolutionary Think said:

What kinds of things are you thinking about? What's confusing you specifically?

I am confused about my "career", I can either return to it or let it go and take another path...one that may change my income, my health benefits, my pension...all those things that provide stability to ones life.

I am confused about a medical professional I am seeing that doesn't align with my spiritual ideas, not that he needs to align but at least not kick me in the teeth about it!  Seems like a simple decision to just move on but it has ramifications in many respects so I am trying to consider everything and come to a decision but the answer is not coming to me by contemplation and thoughts and examining the pros and cons....


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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@LRyan Then you have to dissect the problem a bit more. What were you passionate about when you were growing up? What did you always want to do in the world? The problem with school I noticed was that it doesn't really help people out with these kinds of things. Sometimes it's scary when we have no safety net and can't rely on people to help us but, we can still slowly transition into somethings we've always wanted to do step by step and not take a dangerous giant leap.

About the medical professional I guess it really depends with how long you've been with that person and how much they know you. I know that nothing sucks more than seeing some kind of therapist or professional helper that doesn't see eye to eye with you. Although with so many of those kinds of people in the world you can always change them. 

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8 minutes ago, LRyan said:

@dorg  I guess that is what Nahm meant also....... ...if you only come from a place of loving consciousness then there is no choice?

Well, you could make a choice, or try to, but that would auto put you back into fear consciousness.

8 minutes ago, LRyan said:

  Same with me, the harder I try to figure out what the most correct thing to do is, the further away from an answer I get.  Someone else simply stated it as over analyzing things.  I have always dissected things from every angle looking at possible outcomes/good/bad and then I get frozen in my thinking because it just doesn't work to try to decide things in that way.  Then I would call every member of my family and answer shop and let them decide for me!  Sounds like insanity...or it IS insanity.  I don't want to do that anymore, I cant.

Then no alternative but surrender. It is a wonderful feeling, and you do not lose anything that you really want to retain.

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Thank you all for your valuable input.  I have decided to end my relationship with this therapist.  I will let my intuition guide me which leads me to surrendering.  Watching Leo's video on Confusion has helped me immensely.  I am letting go of my need to know what the outcome of decisions will be.  Feels very freeing.  


Examine what you believe to be impossible, and then change your beliefs.

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