caesar13

Do you think I'm wasting my time?

8 posts in this topic

I know this is an add question to ask, this is something I have to answer for myself. However, here, in this case, I think I like input from you guys.

I work, a part-time job. Very decent pay per month, enough for a decent living and more time to study. When it comes to study, I tend to spend about 2 hours or so everyday (I sleep about 8+ hours per day) reading a book (psychology or self-help). I am currently reading the 33 Strategies of War, and recently finished Peter Ralston's "The power of Not Knowing" - lot of stuff to ponder about (the second book) and I will slowly do it I think.

My concern is whether these would be helpful? Or am I just wasting time instead of concentrating on studying things related to work? I am well aware that all this comes down to my preferences and my priorities. For the moment, let's say that knowledge of what I do at work, and corporate politics that I am yet to be a part of when I switch to another job or do full-time job, are important. In that case would reading books like "The power of Not-Knowing" a good choice? Irrelevant of all this, the book is great. Very great. I am considering, as Ralston suggested, to re-read the book hear and then - to revisit some topics when I feel the need to.

The reason I thought reading these books is actually useful as most books, I think, based on just their titles, discuss things on a surface level. And the two books I mentioned are not like that. They require me to think. To think of myself, not just only  "about" others. And I see that I take long time to finish them, my last book took me about 2 months (Ralston's book) to finish, at about 2 hours per day on average time spent to read.

My understanding is that at some point I have much better understanding of myself and things around me...Do you think am I in a good path?

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You ultimately have to get to a point where you decide what’s right for your own life. Make autonomy one of your top value. That means, not needing to be told what’s right for you; living and making choices based on what you intuit is appropriate for yourself. You still listen to advice and feedback from others, but you don’t turn it into strict rules that you must follow blindly.

It’s a difficult path that I myself still struggle with, but the long-term gains you’ll make will be well worth it.

You be the captain of your own life. And others will thank you for operating such a magnificent ship.

Edited by Yimpa

“Within the garden of your mind, every thought is a seed that can bloom into a galaxy of wonders." -ChatGPT 4

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Got it @Yimpa

Reading psychology books (and interacting with people when possible) is a must for me, as I haven't spent much of my childhood and early teenage with my friends (I do not have close friends actually), extremely shy and introverted, I might say, if you ask. And now I'm an adult and there's no general friendliness. Behind the scenes, I see it as a intent (the questions I get asked) to gather information, about how much I earn. You know, it's not at all curiousness or concern for others. I don't know, maybe it's just survival at play. I don't blame any of them. Don't want to attach the good or bad tags.

However, I see that I can get manipulated, or I might be trying to manipulate someone. I just want to observe anyone doing it to me, and make sure me not doing it (for silly reasons).

Quote

It’s a difficult path that I myself still struggle with, but the long-term gains you’ll make will be well worth it.

 

Yeah. That's a struggle. It's like trying to become comfortable in the "Not Knowing" state.

Anyways, personal stuff aside, thank you for answering. Maybe I should get back to contemplate this thing.

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9 hours ago, caesar13 said:

Reading psychology books (and interacting with people when possible) is a must for me, as I haven't spent much of my childhood and early teenage with my friends (I do not have close friends actually), extremely shy and introverted, I might say, if you ask. And now I'm an adult and there's no general friendliness. Behind the scenes, I see it as a intent (the questions I get asked) to gather information, about how much I earn. You know, it's not at all curiousness or concern for others. I don't know, maybe it's just survival at play. I don't blame any of them. Don't want to attach the good or bad tags.

I think the problem with books CAN BE that you get into constant "preparation mode" and put off actually gathering the real-life experiences you need to grow.  In other words, theory above practice.  This is a way to shield yourself from possible discomfort and rejection that can be experienced in the social sphere.

I don't think there is a substitute for just doing - learning through experience.  One has to take risks to reap the rewards in life, that's the bottom line.  I would rather take baby steps towards actually socializing.  You will learn a lot more through experience than through books (because you don't know how accurate or applicable to your situation the books are.)

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On 21/8/2023 at 7:47 PM, caesar13 said:

Do you think am I in a good path?

Yes. You'll be better at dealing with life situations. What you are essentially doing is learning about life, which is equally, if not more, as important as learning about the things inside life, such as your work.

Understanding the workings of yourself, the people around you and reality itself improves your thinking and intuition.

Just make sure you balance what you are learning so that the outcome is something you desire.

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@Swarnim Thank you. This is not the first time you're answering my questions!

Thank you, once again.

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Not to sound blasé but what do you want?

What do YOU want - not what you think you SHOULD want, not what you want to want, not what you think is acceptable to want. 

What do YOU want.

If you can clearly answer that your definitely off to a start - next question are these thongs getting you closet to that?

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Spend time thinking, introspecting, and reflecting alone. Then reprioritize what you value. Write down what's important to do and what should be cut off. There's always a sacrifice for something less important. Self-help and psychology books are beneficial, even if they're irrelevant to your work; they can be relevant to your life. Also, notice that it's not just about reading but gaining a better understanding, taking notes, and figuring out which actions or methods to implement from those books. Being selective when deciding which books to read is also preferable. 

Regarding the path, it's a progression from a less favorable path to a better one, so each time we are improving our path. Wherever your path is, there's always a way to enhance it.

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