SamC

Help! I couldn't cum with my girlfriend

15 posts in this topic

Today me and my girlfriend got freaky for the first time. We didn't fuck but she gave me a blow job/ handjob. I enjoyed it but I couldn't cum and now I feel super bad about it, also because she took it super personally. I love my girlfriend and I find her very attractive.

The whole experince honestly felt more like a psychadelic trip where there where so much pleasure and Love that I couldn't take it. My dick was super sensitive and eventually I had to stop her.  It felt like I was om LSD. 

I think the reason might be because of my exsessive porn use and masturbation where Ive come to a point I cant relate to woman in a healthy sexual way. 

What should I do? What is my problem?  Why do I have this problem?


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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There's nothing usual about that for first time sex.

It's not easy for a girl to make you cum. Many girls just don't know how to jerk or suck you well enough.

There's an easy solution to this: after she has her fun, you jerk yourself off onto her.

You should never expect a girl to finish you off. Rarely is a girl skilled enough to do that. You'll notice that even in porn many times the guy finishes himself off.

Don't take any of this personally. You just need more experience having sex.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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This also happened to me when I was a virgin. I just ended up faking it after 20 mins lol. The next time we had sex, I came in like 10 seconds. Strange.

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The first times you're having sex there's also so much nervousness that it's hard to enjoy it. It takes time to relax and to learn to enjoy it.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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4 hours ago, SamC said:

Today me and my girlfriend got freaky for the first time. We didn't fuck but she gave me a blow job/ handjob. I enjoyed it but I couldn't cum

Super normal.

It’s like with engine running-in, everything has to take time to fall into place.

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8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There's nothing usual about that for first time sex.

It's not easy for a girl to make you cum. Many girls just don't know how to jerk or suck you well enough.

There's an easy solution to this: after she has her fun, you jerk yourself off onto her.

You should never expect a girl to finish you off. Rarely is a girl skilled enough to do that. You'll notice that even in *** many times the guy finishes himself off.

Don't take any of this personally. You just need more experience having sex.

I orgasm when I choose to mentally stimulate myself to finish. A large part of it is lack of mental athleticism on his part.

Create a story in the mind that arouses more tends to work really well.

Dream/Re-interpret something more arousing. 

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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Am I the only one who doesn't like blowjobs?


If you dont understand, you're not twisted enough.

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8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The first times you're having sex there's also so much nervousness that it's hard to enjoy it. It takes time to relax and to learn to enjoy it.

Not true :)
 

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There's nothing usual about that for first time sex.

It's not easy for a girl to make you cum. Many girls just don't know how to jerk or suck you well enough.

Not true either :)

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There's an easy solution to this: after she has her fun, you jerk yourself off onto her.

You should never expect a girl to finish you off. Rarely is a girl skilled enough to do that. You'll notice that even in porn many times the guy finishes himself off.

The porn actors end up because the pervy viewers want to see him cum on the girl's head, or something.

 


If you dont understand, you're not twisted enough.

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10 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Am I the only one who doesn't like blowjobs?

I've only ever found one girl who can make me cum from a blowjob, before that I didn't like them either. Now I can't get enough, lol.

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Thanks for the support and wisdom guys.

Uppdate:

We did it again but this time I did most of it myself and I cummed. It was not as big of deal as I thought. 


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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Give it time. Guide her so that she knows how you like it. If she has not been giving oral sex to another guy before, she won't really know how - its the same with guys doing oral to girls - it takes a bit of a practice to figure out where the "soft spots" are.

Also if you find it too sensitive, maybe she needs to be more gentle and also avoid touching the gland (the head) with her hand. Some days, the penis can be so sensitive that oral is just not an option. If you are not circumcised and most of the time wear your foreskin over the glans, you'll be waaay more sensitive than guys who have the skin cut or glans always exposed. 

Don't make too much of it  - you'll figure it all out, and the longer you stay together, the better the intimacy gets 

Edited by Michael569

“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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Is it normal for me to be able to cum 3-4 times in a row from BJ? Because two times in a row is my normal. I don’t know how it is possible not to cum at all.


All Teachers and Teachings are delusion. You have all the answers within you. The first step on the journey to Enlightenment is questioning all the beliefs and teachings you have ever received. Teachers/Teachings are a distraction/maya at the highest level. There comes a point where you need to trust in your own innate knowledge and derive your own insights into the nature of reality. Teachers make a living and lifestyle of selling you water by the river. You don’t need them. All you need is an insatiable desire for truth and then seriously contemplate reality and uncover all that is false. 

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On 7/18/2023 at 7:51 PM, SamC said:

I think the reason might be because of my exsessive porn use and masturbation where Ive come to a point I cant relate to woman in a healthy sexual way. 

Not sure why nobody commented on this so I will.

I had the same exact problem you are talking about, and it all went away when I stopped watching porn. Masturbating to porn over and over again will absolutely damage your sexuality. I can almost guarantee if you stop you will be able to cum way easier with a real partner. 

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@Leo Gura Finally I have come to a point that I have so much confidence in sex that even if I have sex for the first time I am pretty chill and can enjoy it very much.


You've slept a hundred nights, And what has it brought you? For your self, for your God, Wake up! Wake up! Sleep no more.
 

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@SamC bro, the important thing about this is to really not worry about it and have good communication with your girl.

You are totally normal and things like this happen to all guys.

Tell her how you need it or show it to her (jerking off) or do it yourself together with her.

In any way don't freak out and tell your gf it's not about her.

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