I was rejected from my dream school.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Does anyone else know how to cope? I have a really bad SAT score (960) and a descent High School GPA (3.2) but a bad Community College GPA (2.65).

I was rejected from a University that I thought was a sure I would get in to and now I'm really sad and crying.

I don't know why is it that I am such a bad student even thought I try so hard. I don't party, I study, but I always do really poorly on my exams. It's always my exams which kill me, I can never seem to do well on exams.

I have now an immense inferiority complex. Why is it that my friends are able to attend top 50 or even top 25 nationally ranked Universities and my University is ranked 156 nationally? Why are they able to get at worst 1200 SAT scores which they will later complain about because it's too low, meanwhile I don't even reach the 1000 mark despite studying so much, buying textbooks, and going to tutoring. It's just, why are they able to do it seemingly at ease and meanwhile I try so hard and don't achieve the same. 

I remember in High School physics, I was struggling really hard with the exams. I get a tutor to help me with the math of the physics, and I still bomb each exam. Meanwhile I ask the guy sitting next to me if he studied, he says no but he aces the exams. True story.

I'm wondering just what's wrong with me? Do I have a learning disability? Am I lazy? What is the issue?

I as well feel a sense of FOMO. I look at their Instagram and have an immense sense of jealousy, as they're having the College Experience for which I am missing out on. Going to parties, hookups, watching university sports team games in massive stadiums, I'm missing out on fun I could be having if only I worked harder in High School. Academically 2019 was the best year for me, as I had nothing lower than a B grade the whole year and it was only because I implemented Leo's ''how to study video''.

How do I cope with getting rejected from my dream school and missing out on the college experience? Why am I such a bad student who struggles specifically with tests and exams? How do I manage the feelings of FOMO, and that everyone is having fun without me?

Edit: I know Universities are heavily criticized on this forum for being places of indoctrination. But what my mind has done is that is has hijacked the warnings about Universities from this forum to cope with my poor academics. In the same way that slaves develop slave morality in order to cope with not having what the masters have, in Nietzsche's philosophy of master and slave morality.

There's this video and this article which makes me feel a bit better, but I again think my mind is using it as another cope.

 

Article: https://www.osho.com/newsletters/winning-the-race-to-the-graveyard

Edited July 15 by Husseinisdoingfine

[Leo Gura]

The truth is it's just not important at all. Get on with building out your life as you want it to be.

All these dream schools are just fantasies they brainwashed you into feeling was important.

Edited July 15 by Leo Gura

[Husseinisdoingfine]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

All these dream schools are just fantasies they brainwashed you into feeling was important.

Are we really THAT thoroughly brainwashed? I think brainwash is a bit too extreme of a word. Like, the straight A stereotypical Asian student who went to Harvard, is it fair to label that person brainwashed ? Am I not just coping?

[ValiantSalvatore]

It's more about what you learn and what you're interested in of course there are practical things to consider, the issue with American universities seems to be the ranked based thinking, instead of receiving a very good education, we don't have this prestigous culture in Germany, very latent maybe it's more a form of exellence and "true merit"... For some the academica game is their "passion&love" as well as survival as they don't know anything else. A lot of straight A students really love what they are studying. I could give a personal example also, yet it would take very long to type and explain, I can see why you're dejected most would be. There might be another chance also I was rejecte by 3-5 universities I badly wanted to go to, as they dovetailed with what I studied better, than I was randomly accepted at an elite university which I did not even care about, and was hyped now I am a bit dejcted as the experience is not what I thought it could be, yet it's definitely good. I just liked their curriculum as they seemd higher consciouness and I applied, I completely forgot and they took me. Obviously, strategically applying for the better place is smart, yet it was more about the curriculum and learning experience for me even in my bachelors. It's definitely smarter to get real world experience, especially in America there should be some stuff open to learn and make some income. In Germany the best students I've meet all are working as working students in IT, you have better ressources available as they actually have to care a bit more about you and you gain first-hand experience in the real world with projects. I was shooting for this even during my bachelors, but barely got anythign till now, due to fear of not applying which was a mistake, as I'd yearned to go into research and I see now f*ck I am glad I did not make this choice, given my limits. 

I know it takes a lot of vision and energy to work and play out the life you'd love to have any Calnew Port book etc. and advice etc. As a life long learner I notice how tricky it is and I don't have the best grades also the point is often it's still very much the strategy an intention. If you legit look up what top universities students do and top students I know I learn better through connections for example and math I notice I really have to appreciate the beauty of it to enjoy it. I completely forgot this also. It might also be a value thing.

You could read a couple of books on how to become a straight a-student, it helped me I am still not a straight a-student, but it did help to see what works given my unique situation, and I am just fk*ing glad I found something in IT without beign tested through networking.

Some stuff is impossible to do learn at times, given how diverse a curriculum can be and I have to strategize. Most care about the value you provide and not what grades you write. Caring about grades is good, but GPA is bad that is an advice for example from Calnew Port. Review your learning systems and test, I had to do this also this year and I keep finding mistakes and opportunities to improve. I bet there are courses you could drop as the professor is bad and or the topic simply does not fit etc. 
The academic system is still f*ed in a sense, the eudcation it provides still has immense value imo, I just don't enjoy the merit based thinking of it and prestigious status type of thinking. 

It's not really about the school more about the opportunities of what can be taught, eventually a city with a larger industrial complex might even be better? For more working opportunities, you might could even do you're masters degree etc. at the  company and find an interesting nische and or research topic etc. 

Edited July 15 by ValiantSalvatore

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Like, the straight A stereotypical Asian student who went to Harvard, is it fair to label that person brainwashed ?

Oh, that kid is definitely brainwashed.

Of course, just because you don't go to a good university does not mean you will automatically be saved from brainwashing.

But now you have a great opportunity to do independent self-education. Which is way more enjoyable than cramming for exams and jumping through university hoops like a show dog.

Edited July 15 by Leo Gura

[Yali]

25 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

independent self-education

How do you define "independent self-education"? Reading non-dual books all day, every day? @Leo Gura

[Rigel]

1 minute ago, Yali said:

How do you define "independent self-education"? Reading non-dual books all day, every day? @Leo Gura

Using your intelligence to find the information you need to do the things you wanna do.

Practicing the skills you need to do the things you wanna do. 
 

…
Reading non-dual books all day is not intelligent. You can be smart and read that when you want or need to. And you can read other stuff too.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cVBohQ2x1c

Try berg learning

you can transfer to a better school for further degrees 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Meditation also helped me if this is important, yet it's not a cure-all and underrated also by one learning coach I like, especially if you're young and below age 25-27 I never heard so many neurons firing, when I meditated... I don't know if this was real, but yes I heard electrical signals from my brain literally.... 

Also blooms taxonomey recently helped me to contempalte and re-configure my thinking for academia and in general learning. 

Edited July 16 by ValiantSalvatore

[CARDOZZO]

@Husseinisdoingfine

NLP and Neurosemantics can help you increase your intelligence.

I don’t know you but what I know is that your reality model/frames is not optimal to learn certain subjects.

The problem is not YOU.

The problem is your mental models to learn/understand physics or whatever you want to learn.

 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, that kid is definitely brainwashed.

How so? And how deep is the brainwashing?

Also! These high academic achievers, are they happy people? I remember you made your “successful people aren’t happy”  video and I wonder if that applies to top academics. I met these types of people, judging from first impressions meeting them irl and their Instagram profiles, their lives just seem perfect.

Edited July 16 by Husseinisdoingfine

[Husseinisdoingfine]

BTW. I'm going to UMBC. 

[hyruga]

You need to liberate yourself from the fact that you are not going to your dream school. There's so much to learn.

[supremeyingyang]

On 16/07/2023 at 0:06 AM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I'm wondering just what's wrong with me? Do I have a learning disability? Am I lazy? What is the issue?

Just look at how much you post here and you have your answer. Take it as a wake up call. Gura is right, which University is not as important as skill -- and most you can and need to learn on you own.

Don't cope - Feel the embarassment and let it fuel you on the way up.

[Ninja_pig]

An SAT score of 960 puts you in about the 30th percentile. I'm a tutor at my university and I would honestly suggest that not everyone is a good fit for college. I can see that you have honestly tried your best and that is commendable. There is a small chance that you are not implementing the correct study habits, but I think it is more likely that college isn't something you should be trying to do because you are not strong academically. Don't judge your self-worth by your academic prowess. Focus is on what is in your control rather than what is not.

What is in your control: study habits, morals, the actions you take every day, your level of dedication and commitment.

What is not in your control: test scores, admissions, GPA, the level of difficulty of academia purely decided by the performance of other students.

I would suggest thinking about why you want to do well in college. Why is that important to you? Maybe in the process you can figure out where you really want to be and maybe even find a way to get there without going to your dream college. You need to focus on your strengths and find something you are good at rather than banging your head into a wall forever. Don't compare yourself to others, especially those  who have an unfair advantage. If you try something, and you honestly try your best, don't beat yourself up if you fail. Life is not about becoming better than everyone else, it's about becoming the best version of yourself.

[Yimpa]

On 7/15/2023 at 5:06 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I'm wondering just what's wrong with me? Do I have a learning disability? Am I lazy? What is the issue?

Society and family told me I was a failure.

So I said “FUCK YOU” and decided to move on with my life regardless. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I've meet a one gifted person and he also struggled academically due to various reasons and also others have issues he explained to me, my old psychologist wanted to diagnose me as gifted, and often times a lot of great students have great study habits and have been apparently rewarded for effort. Many study for their survival also. There is a "syndrom" among gifted people called underachievement and it's not very well researched and explored. I've talked to a coach and he explained me parts of this, as well as I did some research. Maybe that is also a potential issue for you?

I still struggle with this as of today, and to get help for it is costly and self-studying is often the best choice and personal development 
https://engineering.purdue.edu/~andy/challenge/LSCgifted/under.htm#:~:text=Low self-esteem%2C low self,hostile%2C resentful%2C or touchy.

I struggle with this partially as of today, even when I score well in the official mensa screening test for giftedness I am afraid and have issue due to internalized bullying and societal hurdles etc. There is better information in German, yet the "minority" part is missing. I consistently date high IQ people & make high IQ friends, the issue is the conception of this & the prevalence of test scores etc. as well as get discriminated subtely at the sametime. I couzld name a billion points of why I suffer in academia and I still did pretty well, it's best to sort of accept that one walks a different path and to cultivate with patience a level of experitse and depth one yearns to have, the best often love it so much they do it all day and are in denial about it. They even would start teaching it etc. So their perspective could be completely off, especially if their young and externaly praised. 
I often had teachers come to me, omfg you're so intelligent what are you doing with your life, and I thought to myself, I wish someone would not externally validate me once and make this "objective claims", and praise an effort identity and or smth. more genuine. I dunno hope this is somewhat helpful. I hope working as a working students shows me more the real world and not academia specificity. 
It's a very uncomfortable spot, as you can't tell how self-deceived you are, yet when even professors come to you and explain their failures and struggles and empower you, as well as are non-judgemental that is pretty good. It's pretty insane how far this goes, and I could say more, but yeah it's tricky even self-education is tricky. 
All in all bro, it's most likely still an immense upgrade to go from a community college to an university, I bet you're going to enjoy the quality of education more. 

I am glad I have more professors like this. It's a huge circle jerk of an attitude. Though it should change with more decentralization. 

Edited July 17 by ValiantSalvatore

[Jacob Morres]

I can relate. When I was your age, I also had a lot of trouble studying 

As I grew older I realized that my personal issue came from a lack of self belief. I'd study, but due to a negative self fulfilling belief system, all my efforts would fail

All my friends were high achievers and I'd get average reusilfs despite putting in weeks of effort lol 

Over time I studied a ton of personal development on things like growth mindset, Tom bilyeus talks, studying mastery and success principles, looking at how others succeeded, study strategies (like deep work, spaced recall, prioritization) 

Eventually I realized it boils down to [quality] work ethic, good strategies and a good regimen (there's other ways of succeeding , this is my personal preference)

The nice thing for you, is that even if you had No college, all the success in the world is still available to you and you can still change this around. You got this 

Dr.k failed out of college and become a monk for 3y. Then came back, grinded his ass off and got into Harvard med 

Edited July 17 by Jacob Morres