Mormegil

Practical Tips to increase Confidence

17 posts in this topic

I'm wondering what are some practical habits one can do every day that would help slowly increase one's confidence. Of course moments of great success (finishing big projects at work or getting a degree in something) help to create a more positive view of oneself, but those things take years to accomplish. And usually people with already low confidence are less likely to pursue those bigger goals, because they think they would fail at them anyway. Any ideas what could be done on a daily basis?

Edited by Sincerity
removed typo in title

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I read some parts of the book upward spiral and in it was mentioned to first write your negative thought and then write the reframe .

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Set small goals and achieve them. This way you will be someone who achieves their goals consistently.

If you do so, you’ll feel like you can achieve the goals you set for yourself in the future. 

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Confidence can be split up into different areas. So you might be confident in one and less in another and each of them have different methods to grow them so I would say one has to be more specific with such a question. But then one could say there is this base level confidence that is most fundamental which doesn’t really require anything special or long term to achieve as it is the precursor to even taking any action at all

Edited by Sugarcoat

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There's a bunch of NLP excercises you can do to boost you confidence within a few minutes. Also daily visualization, meditation and regular excercise. 

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  • Affirmations for 5 minutes every morning: "I am a confident man / woman" or "I love feeling confident in myself" or "I can tackle anything life throws at me" (my personal favorite) affirmations will start to change the way that you view yourself, and your mind will start to look for ways to actually make that statement true. It doesn't matter if you are not confident right now, just keep repeating to yourself every day and your mind will find ways to make the statement a reality.
  • Make small goals for yourself, like flossing everyday for a month, or making your bed every morning. Stick with a habit, this will build up the respect that you have for yourself.
  • 5 minutes of visualising yourself acting confident in different situations. For example, confidently chatting up a girl or guy, confidentially asking for a job application or a promotion/raise, acting confident while at a party, being confident while playing a sport. You'd be surprised how well visualizing works. (Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is a good book on it) 

 

Edited by Spiritual Warrior

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Relax in your body. Feel your feet, your legs and your chest area.

Release on emotions like fear and anger, want for control.

Everything that increases consciousness, it will let you see through all the things that seem to limit your confidence.

Becoming more present.

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Make a tit of yourself on a daily basis. Embrace your foolishness and stupidity with love as much as you can and eventually you'll be able to behave authentically which is the essence of confidence.

Try it next time you say or do something that you then judge yourself for. Find a way to console yourself and then let it go. Rinse and repeat. Confidence then grows because there's no longer fear of judgement.

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Some good tips here

 

I like affirmations + visualizations as well. It's definietely a theory and skill on learning to use these 

Reading a page of inspirational work, and reminders has helped me

Also writing a list of accomplishments has helped me. I wrote one recently, and that helped me a ton. Wins def create a snowball effect 

Also, challenging and letting go of trauma beliefs can help too 

You can also create a video compilation of inspirational clips. I've done this a couple times and just watch the video to gain confidence in some field 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Having discipline- doing something on a regular basis that is just outside of what you feel comfortable. You overcome resistance consistently.

 

Meditation, gym, reading, visualization, waking up at the same time every morning, cold approach, 

 

This idea of discipline is from Cal Newport video called deep life stack (something like that)

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You should have clarity on who you want to be. You should also break free from any bondages that you have so you will be more joyous and confident. Also, go out there and experience more to gain confidence. Another point would be to believe in yourself or act as if. Basically some random points written in a incoherent manner. Remember to prepare more so your points will look neat and you will appear confident.

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The only sustainable way to increase your confidence is to actually do hard shit in the world. 

All this visualization and NLP bullshit will fly out the window as soon as you are confronted with real life challenges -- talking to a cute girl, having to speak in front of an audience, being confronted with a bold choice that could change your life if you cease upon it...

You just have to confront your own inadequacies (which are REAL INADEQUACIES) and get punched in the face until you learn how to throw some punches yourself.


“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.” - Heraclitus

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@Nilsi you are right but in learned optimism book it is said that how one talks to oneself , behaves and thinks during challenges can determine what happens next and it is the key to confidence.

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Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Nilsi you are right but in learned optimism book it is said that how one talks to oneself , behaves and thinks during challenges can determine what happens next and it is the key to confidence.

The key is that you actively seek out those challenges - that is the number 1 thing you should be thinking about.


“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.” - Heraclitus

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Know that the true enemy to confidence is inaction. Keep doing stuff and validate improvements. The more you validate, the more confidence you will have. 


What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. 

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