Stuck In A Terrible Life-Situation - Need Some Help

[SQAAD]

Presently, I am facing difficult circumstances and require assistance, though it is tough for me to ask for help as it may reflect poorly on me.

As a 30-year-old man living with my mother and sisters in Athens, Greece, my family has been supporting me financially for the past few years. Unfortunately, Greece's economy is not as developed as other countries like the United States, and high rent costs can take up to 50% of one's income, making it very difficult for most individuals to make ends meet without parental support.

Both of my parents were uneducated and dysfunctional, and their behavior negatively impacted my life. Additionally, my father's alcoholism, poor mental health (OCD), and absence during my childhood left a lasting negative impact on my life.

I have always yearned for self-reliance and autonomy. Nevertheless, the job market in Greece is very limited, and finding a position that pays enough to cover basic expenses is challenging. Therefore, I have been considering the possibility of moving to countries such as Norway or Holland, where better opportunities might exist. Despite identifying some job openings in Holland, I am hesitant to accept them because they require sharing accommodation with three other people, which does not align with my preferred living arrangements. Furthermore, most of these jobs involve manual labor, which does not align with my career goals.

I am proficient in the basics of HTML/CSS & Javascript and desire to work as a web developer or in a position where I can learn valuable skills. Unfortunately, my past addiction issues and mental health concerns have affected my productivity and hindered my progress. Nevertheless, I have successfully overcome my addiction to marijuana and am now in a much better mental state.

I have been facing several challenges lately. Despite my efforts, I have been unsuccessful in securing a decent job in Greece, and my limited qualifications have made it challenging for me to work as a web developer. To make matters worse, the environment at home is not supportive, and I have not been receiving the love and understanding that I need. The frequent arguments at home have made the situation even more difficult for me, and it is taking a toll on my mental well-being. I feel trapped and uncertain about my future, which has led to some thoughts of suicide.

It's hard to know what to do when it seems like my only options are to settle for a dead-end job & continue struggling to make ends meet. Ultimately, my desire is to live independently on a livable wage while working in a fulfilling job where I can learn valuable skills.

Edited April 30, 2023 by SQAAD

[integral]

3 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I am proficient in the basics of HTML/CSS & Javascript and desire to work as a web developer or in a position where I can learn valuable skill

Is getting a fulltime job as a Front-end Developer an option?

Edited April 30, 2023 by integral

[Noahsteelers34]

Even though you don't want to do manual labor forever, can't you just use it as an intermediate step? Sure the living situation might not be ideal, and it may not be the job you want, but I feel sometimes you have to go through a period of doing things that aren't 100% optimal to get what you want. Do you think moving to Holland would be moving you more towards where you want to take your life?

[SQAAD]

@integral

11 hours ago, integral said:

Is getting a fulltime job as a Front-end Developer an option?

Here in Greece it is extremely difficult because 99.9% of employers want you to have all sorts of degrees and stuff. Moreover they tend to choose younger people.

It's very very difficult that someone will give you a chance. Most business are ruthless and they only care about maximum efficiency and profit. 

In other countries it might be different. I know that in America people in similar situation who have found work as a developer. Like this guy who began coding at 32 and found a job:

 

Edited May 1, 2023 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Noahsteelers34

11 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

Even though you don't want to do manual labor forever, can't you just use it as an intermediate step? Sure the living situation might not be ideal, and it may not be the job you want, but I feel sometimes you have to go through a period of doing things that aren't 100% optimal to get what you want. Do you think moving to Holland would be moving you more towards where you want to take your life?

Yeah i think living abroads would be moving me towards a better position in life.. The reason is that Greece is a very underdeveloped country with tons of unconsciousness.

Living abroad is also hard but at least you can survive a lot better than here. Many people have left Greece because they could not make ends meet without parental support. Unless you own your own house, living here is a real struggle.

Maybe i should just experiment with the living situation abroad. I watch other people from Greece who live in Norway and Holland for example, and they have enough money where they can travel and do other hobbies.

What keeps me from trying to live abroads, is fear of misery. I'm afraid i wil be miserable if i live with 3 other people in the same house. I know that after a while i could eventually rent my own house there. But that is also a challenge. Rent is very expensive and its really hard to find accomadation in Holland.

Because things are so difficult and i have not found anything 'good enough'' this has kept me stuck in this situation.

Edited May 1, 2023 by SQAAD

[Kingston]

@SQAAD You need to tough it up and bite the bullet. Ultimately what you wish is you want to find some easy solution for your current situation. However, you know that there isn't this the case. 

Doomed if you do, doomed if you don't. If staying in your country or moving to another country are both challenging, you still need to pick one nonetheless. So tough it up. By being victim only makes thing worse.

[Moksha]

I hated having roommates when I was younger, but there was no choice. Eventually I reached the point where I could afford to live on my own. You will too, but you may have to pay the price of losing privacy for a while.

Look at it as a spiritual practice. If you leverage it, you can learn to let it flow through you without suffering, and expand the lesson to other areas of your life. Millions (billions?) of people on the planet are in the same situation, and they make it work.

ChatGPT to the rescue:

A 2020 report by the National Multifamily Housing Council found that 32% of renters lived with roommates. In other countries, such as in Europe, living with roommates is also a common practice among young adults, especially in urban areas where housing costs can be high.

Overall, while we do not have an exact number for how many people on the planet have roommates, it is safe to say that living with roommates is a common practice in many parts of the world.

[SQAAD]

@Kingston

On 1/5/2023 at 8:15 PM, Kingston said:

@SQAAD You need to tough it up and bite the bullet. Ultimately what you wish is you want to find some easy solution for your current situation. However, you know that there isn't this the case. 

Doomed if you do, doomed if you don't. If staying in your country or moving to another country are both challenging, you still need to pick one nonetheless. So tough it up. By being victim only makes thing worse.

Yes i agree. I think unconsciously i am seeking some easy solution when there is none... Accepting the challenge is the hardest thing.