How Do You Perceive Male Power ?

[Loreena]

This is for guys. How do you define male power. I don't mean men in positions of power. I don't want to know  a woman's perception of men. I want to know how men perceive each other in terms of likeability and power. What qualities and abilities are admirable and desirable in a man as per you(men). What makes a man a man ? 

Do you believe the men you see around you are real men? Are you okay with them being themselves, or do you expect more out of them. Describe your ideal man, his qualities, abilities and traits. What defines a powerful man according to you. And if you believe that men in general lack most of the desired qualities, then what according to you is the reason for this void, why couldn't society produce better men(powerful men). 

 

Edited March 14, 2017 by Loreena

[Toby]

That is not something that most men think about I'd guess. It's like a non-issue and doesn't matter. You like some people and don't like others, some men have a certain skill or "success" in a certain area of life, some may not. Basically this does not matter, because everyone is as they are. And the words "power" or "likeability" don't even make sense to most men imo. They just do what they want to do, and that's it.

[ajasatya]

9 hours ago, Loreena said:

What qualities and abilities are admirable and desirable in a man as per you(men). What makes a man a man ?

virtues. dignity, patience, listening, healthy sexual drive, healthy mind/body, simplicity appreciation, proper working effort, the willingness to practice goodness.

9 hours ago, Loreena said:

Do you believe the men you see around you are real men?

no.

9 hours ago, Loreena said:

what according to you is the reason for this void, why couldn't society produce better men(powerful men).

society in general approves disgusting values. children haven't been taught how to deal with their emotions. parents are too distant and too immature. women crave for money and men crave for sexual satisfaction.

[Evilwave Heddy]

That's a very good question..because we don't really think about each other the same way women think of other women during the days.  We don't gossip like many women do because we just don't care.  

For example: If Freddy over there is wearing weird shoes we would point it out and be done with it.  Meanwhile women would look at Jesses' ugly shoes, say nothing, then gossip to her friends about how ugly they were later.

 

Sometimes we might just give the odd "God, he's a dickhead isn't he?" after conversation and leave it at that.  They don't really escalate into anything. We're kinda like cavemen in a way.

This is my perspective as man with my friends.  I think the biggest trait is loyalty and openness.  If they have those two qualities I'd consider them a friend.  Speaking of the term "friends".  Men do not know when a friend is a friend.

[Shin]

Mahatma Gandhi was a man.

In our current western culture, he would be seen as a pussy.

 

Edited March 14, 2017 by Shin

[abgespaced]

Great question! Hard to answer though. Before I do I will provide the caveat that no single quality or attribute can definitively categorise a man as a man, or as powerful. Rather, it is the collection of such that provides the complete image that allows an instinctive judgement to be made. But I will try my best to elaborate.

A man knows what he wants from life and can steadfastly hold to that through thick and thin until he deliberately changes his mind. He will pursue that thing and let nobody stand in his way, which gives him tremendous personal power that is perceived by other men, commanding respect as a result. He is assertive.

Respect is also a good indicator. A man who doesn’t respect himself cannot be respected by others- his ideas, desires, input, boundaries, resources, rules etc. are all insecure when he cannot enforce his will on them. He will let others, men and women, make decisions for him regarding the things he should have agency over.

Good with women and has high sexual energy. This doesn’t mean he’s a pickup artist or walks around in a sweat all day. It means he brings energy to a room. He get people’s attention in a non-needy way. We feel comfortable around a guy like this and feel like there’s something to be learned from him. His energy comes from a grounded place that is in touch with his biology and genetic makeup as a man. He is a complete person in touch with his sexuality.

Doesn’t whinge, whine or complain, doesn’t gossip or put others down to make himself better, but can give shit to others in a fun way that is endearing to both parties and at the same time subtly establishes himself as the more dominant one in the relationship. Never affected by what others think of him or say to him. Non-reactive with an air of joviality. 

The majority of Gen X, Y and Millennials are not like this. It is a sad reality and I fear it’s only getting worse. Society, pop culture, the media, hardcore feminists, academia and even men themselves continue to dishonour and discredit masculinity. They are taught that masculinity is all in the mind, nurture not nature, that men are inherently violent and sex obsessed. 

So from a young age the desire to grow out of boy thinking and into a man is psychologically beaten out of them. They avoid being assertive for fear of offending, they expect good things to come their way without putting in the hard work, they cut themselves off sexually, they whinge, whine and complain and act like little boys, they are listless and apathetic to the world around them, their motivations around money vs contribution are all skewed, i could go on and on…

I don’t think much is going to change until as a collective species we recognise the innate differences between men and women, that masculinity and femininity are biological and psychologically hard wired, and that men and women are complimentary to one another, not competitors. We need to return to that understanding that our ancestors so naturally perceived and start celebrating our differences. The young men of today need to be honoured for their manhood and supported in their journey towards full expression of it.

[ElenaO]

On 14/03/2017 at 6:01 PM, Evilwave Heddy said:

For example: If Freddy over there is wearing weird shoes we would point it out and be done with it.  Meanwhile women would look at Jesses' ugly shoes, say nothing, then gossip to her friends about how ugly they were later.

Sometimes we might just give the odd "God, he's a dickhead isn't he?" after conversation and leave it at that.  They don't really escalate into anything. We're kinda like cavemen in a way.

Then I am a man too. I think gossiping is not specific just to women. There's guys out there who gossip. I know some. I would say it comes down to your level of development and not gender.

[Evilwave Heddy]

@ElenaO I agree...everyone is not the same.

[SLICKHAWK]

It's said man to man. confrontation is powerful in discussion.

Men enjoy good conversation. We search for each Other egos in a way to embrace what we care or have passion for. 

Zero emotion lack for deep concern or what he ate or who he fucking . 

Everything becomes firing power in a debate for who's right. 

I am actually trying to balance my feminine side. I've neglected it and am ready to embrace a deeper understanding of women. 

 

[jse]

On 14/03/2017 at 0:55 PM, Loreena said:

What makes a man a man ?

Maturity, self-conviction, inner strength, wisdom.

[aurum]

I hesitate to say any man must be a certain way or he's not a man...that's just ego games I played when I was younger,

At the same time, I do think think the question of what does it mean to be masculine has a lot of value.

The first and foremost trait I admire in other men is clarity of life purpose. I don't care if you're Gary Vaynerchuck, Tony Robbins, Kobe Bryant or the Buddha. Find that thing you love and just own it.

I know this is at the top of my list because this is an area I struggled with for so long. I had no idea who I really was or what I wanted.

Next is trait I admire is courage. A lot of the time we know what to do, we just don't have the courage to do it or look truth in the face.

Next is love and a desire to serve. This ties into life purpose but basically I admire men who are willing to give a lot to others because that's just how much they care.

Next is curiosity and open mindedness. Life is an adventure and to blaze new paths that means not shutting down and assuming you've got it all figured out.

Next is humor. I don't think anyone can claim they are wise without a genuine sense of humor and lightness about themselves.

Finally, I'd say perspective. Do they have the wisdom to see that ultimately everything we do is just like building a sandcastle next to the ocean water coming in?

These are all the traits I do my best to embody.

On 3/14/2017 at 1:55 AM, Loreena said:

Do you believe the men you see around you are real men? Are you okay with them being themselves, or do you expect more out of them

Many men possess at least a few traits from this list. To meet someone who hits everyone mark though is extremely rare.

Men are free to do whatever they want. I don't expect anything from them because I know everyone is just going through their own journey. When they're ready, they're ready.

On 3/14/2017 at 1:55 AM, Loreena said:

And if you believe that men in general lack most of the desired qualities, then what according to you is the reason for this void, why couldn't society produce better men(powerful men). 

Because the men who raised today's men didn't know any better. And the men who raised those men didn't know any better. And the men who raised those men didn't know any better.

It's just ignorance really. Every generation just tries their best to do better than the previous.

Also, I think there's something to be said for duality here. I don't buy the idea that everyone in society is going to become enlightened and we're going to live in some spiritual utopia.

That's not duality. Ignorance, destruction, pain, fear and all these things have their role to play.

So we'll never have a society where ALL THE MEN have the traits I'm describing. The context must exist.

[Lai]

True confidence

[Vaishnavi]

Amazing to see some quality perspectives on men by men. I must say people on this forum are quite intriguing 

[jse]

4 minutes ago, Vaishnavi said:

I must say people on this forum are quite intriguing 

[Just Do Nothing]

Hmm tough one...

I respect men who are geniuses but they tend to not be so courageous. 

I respect men who are fit, strong and fearless but they tend to lack intellect. 

Each to their own ... I look up to anyone as long as they hold good morals and are ambitious in their ways of life and hold some sort of intelligibility. 

Of course the man who is courageous, strong, physically fit, sociable, caring and in incredibly smart is one to respect! 

 

but the man who understands and respects others regardless of their background and does not lust for women and will always pursuit to bring happiness to himself and others is ....the man

 

 

[Loreena]

@jse       

                   

[Alex K]

I work at a rather well off international IT services corporation of 10000. Most of men there are smarter and socially higher then I am. They are proactive, goal oriented, masters at their craft. They have money for homes and foreign travels, they have wifes and children. They eat right, exercise, do yoga, climb, sing, drive, bike, build robots, hike for hobbies. They manage projects and people lifes just like that.

Still after humble 9 month of moderate meditation, I see just from their non-verbal signs: their painfull faces, their neurotic intonations, their egotistical actions, knee-jerk reactions, ailing speaches, crumbled postures etc. just how much suffering, uncertainty, despair is there in them. And there is nothing powerfull about that

The more conscious life man leads, the more powerfull and pleasant he appears to me. Unconscious man is just a rabbid stray animal.

Edited March 19, 2017 by Alex K

[Nahm]

Self honesty.    Everything stems from this.  

[Spiral]

• Confident
• Honest
• Showing integrity
• Being grounded and mature
• Being respectful
• Being fair, primary when making discussions regarding people  

I do not think you necessary need to be a good person to be a man thought

Edited March 28, 2017 by Spiral
Added some opinions