Abiding as awareness/being enlightened feels like ecstasy

[Romanov]

No, I was not on anything at the time of writing this. This is me expressing my true self. The mind or ego is like a bratty teenager-it wakes up in the morning taking existence for granted, pissed at how perfect everything is. Folks, we are and always have been, experiencing ecstasy and God moment-by-moment. We just refuse to wake up to it because we are preoccupied with trivial bullshit. It is right under our noses and we just pussyfoot around it until age 40, 50, 60..all the way up until we’re laying on our deathbed thinking “what the fuck”. 

It’s like being asleep while awake, except that in this context asleep means no mental activity or better put, no self-conscious activity going on. It’s literally like having that peace from any drug high, but sober. The good news is that unlike a drug, it isn’t going anywhere. It was here all along and you’re the one who left it behind. Accepting this moment as is, is interpreted by the mind as agreeing with it. This is a big mistake because the moment you agree with something, you can also disagree with it at the same time. Instead, it is not about agreeing, but allowing things to be. All thoughts and emotions ever want is to be. It is not about rationalizing, manipulating your own thoughts, and bullshitting yourself, as that leads to fake positivity. And if anyone has a problem with “letting things be”, I’ve got bad news for you. You’re already too late by the time you try to change that thought or that emotion because it’s already here. Fake positivity is an attempt to change a thought or emotion in order to replace it with something more palatable to the mind, or ego. All objects of awareness are imperfect, all thoughts, emotions, conjectures, rationalizations, interpretations….are half truths with their own opposites. 
 

You know when you’ve identified with the ego when you THINK you know something. The ego is cunning in that it masquerades like awareness. They are however, not the same and this is why: awareness is able to witness the ego-the ego can be noticed. The ego itself doesn’t notice anything, it doesn’t have awareness, it is dead. Notice all the tight spots throughout your body, you’ll be surprised how many you find. Every time you notice a tightness somewhere and loosen it, you free yourself just a little bit more. 
 

You know you’re abiding as awareness when there’s a sort of neutrality about everything. You’re not too joyful, but you’re also not miserable. The ego loves extremes so it chases either because it is itself, extreme. You also know you’re abiding as awareness when you’re completely spontaneous. You don’t have to think about what to do next because you already know what to do next. When awareness takes action, it is art. When ego takes action, it is work. There’s just this overwhelming feeling of spaciousness, it’s like being drunk yet sharp at the same time. Imagine taking a shower that’s neither too hot or too cold, instead it is just fresh that’s exactly what enlightenment or “being God” feels like. Just inhale, and exhale. You are here for the first time. 
 

Everything, I repeat, everything is a joke. And it’s not a joke in the retarded sense where nothing matters and everything else is dogshit. It’s a joke in the sense that it’s coming from a place of such deep compassion, such deep understanding, that everything just melts into love. There is nothing to understand because there is no other to understand. THAT is the understanding. Your suffering is your avoidance of love. Allow yourself to dissolve into this love, for that is your inevitable destination. 

Edited April 16, 2023 by Romanov