How Do You Become Brave?

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Sincerity @Intraplanetary but what if I want to live my life bravely as a whole, not just have courage around "must have" things?

You can be in love with certain virtues (like goodness, truth, purity, etc.) and then vow to embody them in your life on a daily basis. When You're grounded in something higher, bravery becomes more effortless.

[Leo Gura]

Don't frame it as bravery. Frame it as: Doing what you know is right.

[Sincerity]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't frame it as bravery. Frame it as: Doing what you know is right.

Yeah exactly.

[StarStruck]

You will only fight for something you love and love something you are willing to fight for.

[Israfil]

16 hours ago, HMD said:

@Something Funny From my personal experience of observing people and overcoming this problem myself, I'd recommend exploring your shadow deeply and then integrating it in your conscious life. Sounds simple, but it is among the bravest things you can do. After facing your internal demons, nothing external will phase you, because ultimately it's all just you. It seems you are simply afraid of yourself. And I mean that literally.  

Jordan peterson has a good take on this. He phrases it as "Become a monster, and then learn how to control it". The idea is that once you explore all the terrible aspects of yourself that you have been hiding because they don't fit your self-image, you develop self-respect. And once you have self-respect, you will become more decisive, assertive, and courageous. 

It's like having a loaded gun. When holding it comfortably, like you own it, you feel the power, confidence, and a sense of invincibility. But if you have never held a loaded gun, you might be scared to pick it up at first. Loading the gun is like becoming a monster, and then making it your own is like learning how to control the monster, which also involves developing a degree of respect for it because it can potentially kill others and yourself.

The same is true for the shadow, there is potential in there to kill others and yourself. 

While exploring the shadow, remember the wise words of Carl Jung:

"That which we need the most will be found where we least want to look.” 

and 

"No tree can grow to Heaven unless it's roots reach down to Hell."

How do you do shadow work? I can't find resources on this easily.

[Something Funny]

@Sincerity @Leo Gura Okay

[Intraplanetary]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

You will only fight for something you love and love something you are willing to fight for.

love this passionate talk ?

[Intraplanetary]

2 hours ago, Israfil said:

How do you do shadow work? I can't find resources on this easily.

* Look for books on projection. For example https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01H7INFEU/?coliid=IJ7M6A3I7BOAG&colid=376286RXIW9ZM&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

* This guy Kim Barta is awesome 

 

* J. Peterson talks a lot about shadow. 

[Optimized Life]

It's very simple, but difficult. 

It's simple but it's not common.

Tt's rare so holds value & people will respect you more, and most importantly you'll respect yourself.

Social bravery = highest form of bravery (those gym heads could easily be cowards). 

If you believe that bravery is purely situational and contextual, some people brave in physical dangers others brave socially. 

Developing social bravery = highest ROI activity, also the hardest. 

Edited April 14 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't frame it as bravery. Frame it as: Doing what you know is right.

Wrong, over complicating it. 

you're either a coward or your not. 

[The0Self]

Luckily, bravery is simple in that just doing the thing you’re afraid of is the bravery itself. One misconception about confidence and bravery is about whether the limiting beliefs preventing them ever go away — one might expect that they eventually would… Which is not correct. In a sense, they don’t go away; you just increasingly ignore their impact (by changing your relation to them) until they aren’t limiting beliefs anymore — now they’re just thoughts, but they still arise.

What is the nature of the aforementioned “relationship change” ? You change your relationship to them by responding to them with gratitude — It may not necessarily be obvious why that is, but here’s an illustration on why that is:

Really, every limiting belief is reverberations from the inner child — an evolutionary defense system — trying to keep you safe. Picture this:

You are about to walk on stage, and you have a job to do; something very important to say, and as you’re walking up there, a 5 year old child says to you “they’re going to laugh at you” in a worried tone.

How would you respond? You’d politely thank them for trying to keep you safe — of course, because it’s an obligatorily ignorant child with their heart in the right place, but their concern is obviously coming from fear and ignorance (on account of being a 5 year old). That’s exactly how you respond to limiting beliefs. Because that child is you.

Edited April 14 by The0Self

[Something Funny]

@The0Self thanks, I like that metaphor and approach.

[The0Self]

@Something Funny ? 

[HMD]

@Something Funny @Israfil

I did't have any systematic approach to the process, it was more intuitive for me. 

 

with that being said here are a few things that will help: 

 

This is a good video to start and understand the gist. Additionally, you can read Jordan Peterson's book "12 Rules for Life," which will help you a lot.

Robert Greene also has some great material on this topic, including Laws 9, 12, 14, 16, and 18 of his book "Laws of Human Nature." Additionally, his book "48 Laws of Power" is essentially an exploration of the shadow.

The key thing here is that we have not fully integrated Stage Red (and Orange to a degree as well). Although integrating Stage Red may sound cute and simple as I write this, it is actually quite difficult and painful if you have not integrated it.

According to Jordan, this is what shatters people who suffer from PTSD. They are living relatively peaceful lives in a Stage Orange-Green world, but when they go to war, they are confronted by someone barbaric, psychopathic, or malevolent who does something awful to them or to someone around them, and boom! Now they have to make sense of it and integrate it, which many of them fail (or refuse) to do, and they suffer for the rest of their lives.

Therefore, you should not wait for something like that to happen, but rather become proactive about it and read the most cruel stuff across history. Read books like "Man's Search for Meaning" and "Gulag Archipelago," which discuss all the cruel things that people can do. Other things you can study are school shootings, Outrageous science experiments (Unit 731), and war crimes (invasion of China in 1937). Place yourself in the position of the perpetrator and recognize that you could be doing all of that, and that those people were also humans, just like you. Make this exercise as real and visceral as you can.

These were the people who had resentment in their hearts. When you are not able to say no to someone or do something you want to do, you become resentful and vengeful (which you conveniently hide from yourself, developing a shadow out of it). So, another practice is to contemplate deeply about your resentments and vengeful fantasies. Face them and see the monster that you are with eyes wide open.

Finally, the last thing is to contemplate your own mortality daily. Robert Greene talks about this in the last chapter of "Laws of Human Nature" (highly recommended), and Leo also recommended this in one of his videos. Think about how fragile you are and make it real and visceral. Historically, people had to confront death on a daily basis. As Robert Greene points out, death is now limited to hospitals, away from the hustle and bustle of life. So we have definitely created a shadow out of that and need to come face to face with it.

When you see your own death and fragility, you develop the ability to see mortality in others, and that levels the playing field for you.

I also went out of my way and socialized (also had relationships) with narcissists and sociopaths, or at least people who exhibited such traits. However, I do not recommend that you do this because it brought me a lot of pain, trauma, and hurt as well (which took me some time to heal). Nevertheless, I learned how to deal with such monsters by getting my hands dirty and forcing myself to develop the monster within and then learned how to control it.

All of this is a lot to take in and do. You should go slow and not freak yourself out. I had many panic attacks and existential crises while going through all of this, but it was all worth it. I used to be very socially awkward and shy, now I am assertive and fearless (most of the times).

Edited April 14 by HMD

[Something Funny]

@HMD thanks a lot

[tadpole]

You don't become brave. Either you are brave, which is right now, or you are not.

[gettoefl]

On 14/04/2023 at 11:54 AM, Leo Gura said:

Don't frame it as bravery. Frame it as: Doing what you know is right.

conviction is to figure what's right for me

bravery is doing it

know me, do me

everyday my agenda is to plan me and execute me

opposite is to adopt another's vision

of course every day we have to follow an agenda and schedule set by others, this is the price of living in society

to be brave is to be that one in a million who gives priority and energy and commitment to your path

to ignore it provided it is pointed out is cowardice

bravery is, what have i done that goes against the grain for my own benefit  today?

a day without bravery, is a waste of a day

[Yimpa]

You can try intentionally taking small actions that you wouldn’t usually do. 

For example, try brushing your teeth with your opposite hand for a day.

You don’t have to make these permanent changes, just be curious and observe.

[Intraplanetary]

41 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

For example, try brushing your teeth with your opposite hand for a day.

real brave 

[Yimpa]

Just now, Intraplanetary said:

real brave 

You are missing the big picture.