Why am I not getting it?

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

"Getting what" you may ask?

IT!

What is "it"?

The very question itself! 

What the hell is that? What is the "question"? Why am I not getting it? And what is that? What is "me not getting it"? I want to get it, but I don't even fucking know what "me wanting to get it" is!

Is there even such a thing as an "it" at the bottom of this, or am I just spinning in infinite circles (whatever THAT is haha)? This seeking just seems to be going and going and going and it just goes on and on and on , but I don't even know what that is! What is all of that seeking? What is enlightenment? What is Truth and God and Love? I am seeking answers for all of these things, but I don't even know who is doing the seeking and what is being sought after and what seeking even means. It feels so fucking shallow, but I'm also amazed by how this house of cards hasn't broken down already. So what is all of that?

I can just go on and on and put "what is that?" after everything I say, because what is anything? What is "what is anything?" This just won't quit bugging me. it's so annoying! I feel like a genius fucking idiot for being so confident in the shit that my mind tells me and being able to bullshit myself for so long without anything in me going "Hold on that whole thing is kind of stupid".

So what is it? I mean you won't be able to answer it for me, because what are you? And what are answers? What is IT!?

This whole chain of thoughts is frying my brain. The singular brain cell I've invested in figuring out the truth of things is literally on fire. Smoke is coming out of my ears. Help.

[Jwayne]

I feel confident in saying that almost everyone here can relate to this. It is likely a necessary phase that you must suffer through.

As you read all the descriptions of what the other side ('awakening') is like it just feeds into your imagination and doesn't help you.

My advice is, somehow, you have to return to your senses and your present perception, and your felt body, and just breathe. And enjoy the simple things and find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Because the incessant seeking for "it" is a cycle of despair and a kind of cognitive spiral of dysfunction.

My advice is, to spend time with people, and children, and the earth, and do things you love and enjoy. And completely distract yourself with reality. Be drowned in the beauty of the world. That's the direction I would suggest to move.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

1 minute ago, Jwayne said:

My advice is, to spend time with people, and children, and the earth, and do things you love and enjoy. And completely distract yourself with reality. Be drowned in the beauty of the world. That's the direction I would suggest to move.

That's very counter intuitive. That's like the last thing I'd think of doing, so maybe that's EXACTLY why I should try and do that. I don't know, it's possible. I can try it and see how it goes. Thanks for the advice!

[Jwayne]

11 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

That's very counter intuitive. That's like the last thing I'd think of doing, so maybe that's EXACTLY why I should try and do that. I don't know, it's possible. I can try it and see how it goes. Thanks for the advice!

You're welcome.

My line of reasoning is essentially to 'get out of your head' because this train of thought you are on may take a while to reach its terminus. The mind processes even during sleep and when you're busy with other tasks and even if not directly/consciously attending to it.

So I would say that maybe if you do other things, the train will keep moving and you can wait for it to complete its journey without engaging it too much. Unless you enjoy engaging it, that's also fine.

[Gnosis]

2 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

What the hell is that?

Just stay there for as long as you can.

[Osaid]

Focus on structure, not content.
 

 

Edited April 8, 2023 by Osaid

[VeganAwake]

2 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

"Getting what" you may ask?

IT!

What is "it"?

The very question itself! 

What the hell is that? What is the "question"? Why am I not getting it? And what is that? What is "me not getting it"? I want to get it, but I don't even fucking know what "me wanting to get it" is!

Is there even such a thing as an "it" at the bottom of this, or am I just spinning in infinite circles (whatever THAT is haha)? This seeking just seems to be going and going and going and it just goes on and on and on , but I don't even know what that is! What is all of that seeking? What is enlightenment? What is Truth and God and Love? I am seeking answers for all of these things, but I don't even know who is doing the seeking and what is being sought after and what seeking even means. It feels so fucking shallow, but I'm also amazed by how this house of cards hasn't broken down already. So what is all of that?

I can just go on and on and put "what is that?" after everything I say, because what is anything? What is "what is anything?" This just won't quit bugging me. it's so annoying! I feel like a genius fucking idiot for being so confident in the shit that my mind tells me and being able to bullshit myself for so long without anything in me going "Hold on that whole thing is kind of stupid".

So what is it? I mean you won't be able to answer it for me, because what are you? And what are answers? What is IT!?

This whole chain of thoughts is frying my brain. The singular brain cell I've invested in figuring out the truth of things is literally on fire. Smoke is coming out of my ears. Help.

Start from the beginning!

Who doesn't get it?

Who needs help?

What does "I" consist of?

♥ 

 

[Gnosis]

But Osaid, structure is con-structed. 

[Yimpa]

On 4/7/2023 at 9:57 PM, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

This seeking just seems to be going and going and going and it just goes on and on and on , but I don't even know what that is!

No, no, no, no, no!!!

YOU go on and on and on Eternally!

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Osaid I'm trying, but it's really difficult. 

On 4/8/2023 at 7:11 AM, VeganAwake said:

Who doesn't get it?

The one who thinks that he's writing this sentence. "Me" claiming these words as "mine".

A character in a book has a story, but no "real" existence. Similarly there seems to be a story of "me" and "me not getting it", but I'm not sure if there is actually anyTHING behind that story. I mean I appear to be not getting it. That's the story. There is also a story of "me trying to change the story". The idea of enlightenment plays a big part in that story!

I'm honestly not sure why I appear to be so frustrated about not getting it, when I don't even know what it is that I'm not getting. I'm also not sure what it means to "get it" because... well what does it mean?! But that is what appears to be appearing. But why??

@Squeekytoy How does the false get in the way of the true to begin with?

@Yimpa But why would I do that? That's silly. I'm silly. 

[Moksha]

6 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

I'm honestly not sure why I appear to be so frustrated about not getting it, when I don't even know what it is that I'm not getting. I'm also not sure what it means to "get it" because... well what does it mean?! But that is what appears to be appearing. But why??

I've been good about speaking directly and not dropping quotes, but I'm tired so here you go:

Try to be, only to be. The all-important word is "try". Allot enough time daily for sitting quietly and trying, just trying, to go beyond the personality, with its addictions and obsessions. Don't ask how, it cannot be explained. You just keep on trying until you succeed. If you persevere, there can be no failure. What matters supremely is sincerity, earnestness; you must really have had surfeit of being the person you are, now see the urgent need of being free of this unnecessary self-identification with a bundle of memories and habits. This steady resistance against the unnecessary is the secret of success.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Moksha Thanks, I like that quote. Who's it from? 

[Moksha]

6 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Moksha Thanks, I like that quote. Who's it from? 

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, he's apparently materializing today You can get "I Am That" for free, in the public domain. Well worth a deep read.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Moksha Thank you for sharing, I will check it out!

[Moksha]

@DefinitelyNotARobot Thank @gettoefl, who shared a quote from the same book some time back. It's the gift that keeps on giving. 

[Sincerity]

What's true for You right now is that You don't know. But You want to know so much... this means You want reality to be different from what it is. You're not accepting it, You see.

What if You accepted it as it is now?

Does "It" care whether it's understood? Why do You?

Maybe You would understand "It" better if You were more like it? By being okay with anything, for example?

Edited April 11, 2023 by Sincerity

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Sincerity The seeking seems to come from a place of wanting to be free from suffering, of wanting peace, so yes, I'm definitely not being accepting of reality as it is. But that's the ego talking, reality itself seems to be accepting of the ego and it's inacceptance of reality. So how do I start accepting reality beyond the interests of the ego, if the interests of the ego are part of reality? Is it something that naturally comes as you move deeper into whatever this is? Like a star that burns through all of its energy and eventually implodes into itself and explodes out into the universe, all naturally and effortlessly? 

Leo's videos "Awareness Alone Is Curative", "Burning Through Karma" and "Expose Yourself To More Experience" come to my mind in regard to this.

[Sincerity]

53 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

So how do I start accepting reality beyond the interests of the ego, if the interests of the ego are part of reality? Is it something that naturally comes as you move deeper into whatever this is? Like a star that burns through all of its energy and eventually implodes into itself and explodes out into the universe, all naturally and effortlessly? 

I don't know. I'm figuring it out on the go by myself.

Maybe when You accept not getting it so much that You don't want it anymore, then You actually get it? ?‍♂️ Maybe.

To really accept the NOW is radical. It's fucking difficult. (I'd guess it goes to infinity like understanding)

Edited April 11, 2023 by Sincerity

[Yimpa]

On 4/9/2023 at 5:21 PM, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Yimpa But why would I do that? 

From your POV, there’s something missing. From God’s POV, Everything is Perfection. 

Edited April 12, 2023 by Yimpa