How to heal or overcome Narcisism

[lfvd95]

Hi
Ever since my last break up, I've been reflecting on the patters of thought, behaviour and action that I have followed most of my life. 
I've come to the conclusion that I am a narcissist, and or have narcissistic tendencies; throughout my life people have told me I am somewhat narcissistic, but I honestly thought it was just that they didn’t like me. But I realise I do tend to think of myself as special or more special than everyone else, I tend to be very charming when first meeting people but have problems keeping relationships, I am not able to be as empathic with others, I like to call attention to myself etc. I also tend to attract broken and dysfunctional people into my life – I would go on, but this is not a confession.
The point of all this is, that now that I know that I am the problem, in ways I perhaps don’t even realise, I want to heal and change so that I can be a healthy, functional individual, who can have a fulfilling life and have meaningful relationships with others.
Can you guys recommend any resources that I can study and work with to overcome this and work through this? Or give me any advice? (Yes, I already go to therapy)
Thank you.

[NoSelfSelf]

Narcissist usually cant see that hes a problem and would refuse to go to therapy.Which means you are not lost cause,i have a belief that narcissism cant be cured completely but that could be a bs.

What i recommend is a book "Completion process" by Teal Swan, since narcissism is mostly trauma based so that could be a good place to look.

[Lila9]

Regardless the methods you will choose in order to heal, expect it to be difficult and painful. Healing isn't an easy thing to do in general, and I assume that for a narcissist it might be even harder but I truly believe that it's possible.

The thing is that there is a big obstacle to be aware of: narcissism is pretty useful in order to successfully adapt to the modern unhealthy world, narcissistic traits get more approval in the business world for example. Think how you benefited from it throught your life and how it helped to meet your needs. Now you will have to give up on manipulation and various abusive techniques and find more ethical, fair and human ways to meet your needs, you will have to reinvent the way you relate to people and that won't be easy to make this switch so be prepared to it.

I also suggest you to try to understand how narcissism formed in you as a child. Usually parental abuse leads to that, but there are many types of abuse, even overprotecting a child is a type of abuse, learn what is not considered parental abuse and how to raise healthy children. I believe that educating yourself about that will help you to understand better what happened to you, how to get out of it, how to heal your upbringing experience and re-raise yourself in a healthy and loving way.

At the end of the day, being a narcissist is a poor and fragile existence (same as with co-dependency) and there is a richer and happier way to exist, remind yourself of that as you go throught your journey. You may want to frame it that, this birth-right to be an authentic and healthy human has been taken away from you when you were vulnarble and didn't know better and now you are an adult and you have the power to claim it back.

Edited March 19, 2023 by Lila9

[lfvd95]

@Lila9 Thanks. That really insightful!

[Raze]

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