A Bit Jealous Of Girls

[StarStruck]

@Something Funny you have to choose your own frames. A person with a victim mindset doesn’t choose his own frame but copies the frames of others. You have to develop a certain swagger and balls while still being grounded in reality. 

My gold standard for choosing beneficial frames is to take on the frame that is most beneficial for me while still being grounded in reality. 

[Something Funny]

@CARDOZZO 22, sorry for not responding earlier 

[Something Funny]

15 hours ago, Basman said:

@Something Funny I believe it is fundamentally a need to be enjoyed as a person that is amiss here. Parents usually fulfill this need for their children when they play with them, talk with them leisurely or simply spend quality time with them. The experience of joy derived from your mere existance. It is hard to get that as adult the same way unfortunately. It is something you gotta learn to cultivate yourself somehow.

I can relate to the pain of feeling like nobody enjoys you for who you are and that you have that you have to grind just to get what you want, however. It is not helpful thought to whish you had it easier. Girls might have it easier one way but they also fundamentally have different needs and insecurities which don't apply to you the same way (and which you probably don't want).

Just keep it rolling. Do things you find meaningful and makes you happier as a person. Just keep in mind that your brain still growing. Trust me, as you inch closer to 25, you will suddenly feel a lot more level headed.

Thank you. That’s an interesting take. I don't think I've this issue when growing up to be honest. My problem was that I would be adraid to express myself around my dad and would try to be as invisible as possible.  And I think because of that I still have issues with opening up to people and having a good time without constantly analyzing my every action.

[Something Funny]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A girlfriend of mine got a free Mercedes SUV from a billionaire working in a hotel. A free brand new fucking Mercedes! Just for being a girl. She didn't even sleep with him! Now she drives that Mercedes to my house to sleep in my bed.

Leo, do you mind if I ask how this makes you feel? On two levels.

1) Did you have any feelings of jealousy / insecurity. I don't mean about money, but the kind a person might feel if a gf flirted with another guy in front of you (I assume not, but still curious).

2) Did you start thinking less of her after it? Or, alternatively, would you admire her more if she told you how a billionaire offered her a mercedes and she rejected it because she doesn't need random "freebies" in life?

If you didn't start thinking any less of her after it, is it because you didn't treat this relationship seriously / consider her as a potential life-long partner anyway or is it because you genuinely don't mind it?

[Karmadhi]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Women honestly aren’t picky enough about their standards. They just fall for a guy, and then forgive all of his short-comings because of how she feels about him.

They fall for high value guys which are not most people. They also cut you off for all sorts of stuff. 

The only guys I know that have options with girls are either very good looking guys (genetic lotary) or guys that went through legit HELL to build their game (like Leo did). To need to either win genetic lottary or go through hell to have options with girls is fucked up.

I do not see girls going through hell if they are not top 10% of looks, they still have more options than most guys. And not only shit options but the decent guys in their social circle or work which they love to friendzone all the time.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Something Funny]

@Karmadhi you sound even more depressed than I am, haha. Are you okay?

[Karmadhi]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

you sound even more depressed than I am, haha. Are you okay?

Im just a bit butthurt and annoyed  about having to do this game shit to have a decent dating life cuz i do not really enjoy it much but I am doing the work nonethless. I just like to catharsis sometimes here. In real life I am super positive, this is my emotional dumpster.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Something Funny]

@Karmadhi ?

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Leo, do you mind if I ask how this makes you feel? On two levels.

1) Did you have any feelings of jealousy / insecurity. I don't mean about money, but the kind a person might feel if a gf flirted with another guy in front of you (I assume not, but still curious).

2) Did you start thinking less of her after it? Or, alternatively, would you admire her more if she told you how a billionaire offered her a mercedes and she rejected it because she doesn't need random "freebies" in life?

If you didn't start thinking any less of her after it, is it because you didn't treat this relationship seriously / consider her as a potential life-long partner anyway or is it because you genuinely don't mind it?

Insecure? No

It made me feel annoyed at first because she is kinda spoiled and I value hard work.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura I see. Thank you for sharing.

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, that depends on a case by case basis. Not necessarily. Lots of girls receive free goodies and go about their merry way. It just makes life a bit easier. Some of these girls don't even appreciate how hard life would be without any free goodies and kind treatment.

The way I live my life, I don't expect anyone to ever give me anything for free. This requires me to live a lot more seriously. I have to be much more strict with myself. Most hot girls do not live like that. There is an emotional cost to having to be so serious and earn your way through life.

Being cute lets you get away with a lot more in life. People give you more leeway. You get more room for error and you get more compassion when you suffer or fail. If you're not cute, nobody gives a fuck about you when you're suffering.

I think you over-estimate how many freebies women tend to get.

The cooks at a restaurant will give you free fries if you’re a waitress. And men at clubs will buy you drinks.

I still say that it’s best to take a non-receptive response even to those small gestures, unless you’re genuinely interested in a guy. 

But that’s about the amount of freebies that you get consistently as a woman… even as a very attractive woman.

That is… unless you position yourself for the male gaze and as being receptive to bigger gestures.

There’s a personality frame and persona that has to be embodied in order to get that kind of treatment.

So, the woman you were seeing who was given the car by the billionaire, probably positioned herself in a way that evoked that reaction.

He didn’t just see a hot chick on the street and say, “Hey there miss! Can I buy you a car?”

She had to be a certain kind of person to even be interested in embodying the persona of being the woman that receives a car from a rich guy for being hot.

And therein lies the cost.

It also encourages you to see men as the “middle man” between you and your personal power… and you become reliant on your looks as how you secure resources and power.

And once you lose that power to turn the heads of men, you will feel powerless. And that looks-based power fades about ten years into adult life with 40 or 50 years left to go.

And woe betide the woman that makes the mistake of getting into a relationship with a billionaire who gives cars to hot women.

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

They fall for high value guys which are not most people. They also cut you off for all sorts of stuff. 

The only guys I know that have options with girls are either very good looking guys (genetic lotary) or guys that went through legit HELL to build their game (like Leo did). To need to either win genetic lottary or go through hell to have options with girls is fucked up.

I do not see girls going through hell if they are not top 10% of looks, they still have more options than most guys. And not only shit options but the decent guys in their social circle or work which they love to friendzone all the time.

That’s generally not how relationships with women work.

Be social and make lots of male and female friends and acquaintances.

And when you’re spending time socializing, an organic attraction will eventually arise between you and a woman in your social circle.

You don’t need to be in the top 10% of guys. And you don’t even need much game.

Just socialize and have a good time and connect with people and your loving cup will eventually be filled.

[Miguel1]

6 hours ago, Emerald said:

making an extra $10 in tips during a shift as a waitress is helpful.

There is something called onlyfans.com

Girls are making hundreds of thousands and millions just with their boobs and looks.

Then, if we want to take something more socially acceptable, then look at the social media influencers that make their 100Ks and millions with mostly just their looks.

Looks definitely help girls a ton, to deny that is just straight-up silly.

[Schizophonia]

True, but the androgen influence actually protects against these problems.
The more you are rich in androgens, the more ataractic you are and the more the problems seem surmountable to you in absolute terms.

Being courted is also a problem, because women can be manipulated and tormented because of it, especially since as I have already said above they are obviously more sensitive and vulnerable than men.

[Miguel1]

50 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That’s generally not how relationships with women work.

Be social and make lots of male and female friends and acquaintances.

And when you’re spending time socializing, an organic attraction will eventually arise between you and a woman in your social circle.

You don’t need to be in the top 10% of guys. And you don’t even need much game.

Just socialize and have a good time and connect with people and your loving cup will eventually be filled.

You are starting to remind me a bit of the cat-girl (dont remember her username) with whom we have had a really extensive conversation about the male-female dynamic in this forum, in the past.

And, the same underline problem here is that you are not a guy. So it can be pretty much impossible for you to truly understand what it takes.

''Just socialize and you dont even need much game, an organic attraction will eventually arise''

Sounds good in theory but in practice, this wastes an enormous amount of time + you don't really grow as an attractive, charming, strong, grounded man, which is the whole goal of learning healthy pickup and healthy self-improvement, and behold, we are in a self-improvement forum.

It requires balls, strong core confidence, and groundedness to go up to a random girl in the streets and express your raw attraction towards her with your eye contact and smile, immediately make it man-to-woman, and flirt on the spot, then lead the conversation into a beautiful intimate connection emotionally and physically. This is the ultimate reward of this work, when done properly. Not, wasting a ton of time socially monkey-dancing around, that may or may not lead anywhere.

Obviously, I am not demonizing socializing itself here. Gotta learn to socialize with people in general and have fun too. But the bigger question here is does it lead anywhere? Does it lead to intimate connections reliably? Or are you just wasting ton of your time? Does it lead to much growth as a strong, grounded, attractive man who can lead?

Hence, the intentional practice of game can't be underplayed.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Migue Lonas said:

There is something called onlyfans.com

Girls are making hundreds of thousands and millions just with their boobs and looks.

Then, if we want to take something more socially acceptable, then look at the social media influencers that make their 100Ks and millions with mostly just their looks.

Looks definitely help girls a ton, to deny that is just straight-up silly.

Leo was just talking about the perks of simply existing in the world and having big boobs… not about joining onlyfans or doing some other form of sex work.

The majority of women wouldn’t be okay with doing sex work.

[PenguinPablo]

53 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Leo was just talking about the perks of simply existing in the world and having big boobs… not about joining onlyfans or doing some other form of sex work.

The majority of women wouldn’t be okay with doing sex work.

And the majority of women are sacrificing their integrity and still only making pennies through only fans. it's quite the male fallacy that it's that fucking easy to print money for a hot chick on only fans.

though with a decent amount strategy, placing yourself around the right people, it would not be significantly difficult either. 

it's a pretty misogynistic view in general though and undermines the female perspective, whilst simultaneously positions men into the victim of the two sexes. very masculine guys, lol.

 

[Hardkill]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Insecure? No

It made me feel annoyed at first because she is kinda spoiled and I value hard work.

So, women like Kim Kardashian who say that they work their “fucking ass” off to become successful and market their brand, are full shit?

Or how about some of these female pornstars or models who say that “a lot of people don’t know what it’s like to do the kind of work I do. It takes a lot of work to post new Instagram pics for my fans, workout at least 3-4 times a week to keep my self in shape, do my actual job, and take care of my family, partner, or what have you. If I don’t keep up what I am doing everyday then I’ll lose my subscribes, fans, business, etc.” ?

[universe]

@Emerald Of course you gotta do something in return. Its not about standing there and getting a car by looking good.

You'd have to build a connection with someone.

You don't have to approach men on the street but you gotta be as you say positioned. I don't know exactly how but I think it comes quite natural to most humans in general. Going out to events/partys, being on instagram, being on tinder.

Some men are fine with being in the friendzone for years if they think they got a chance.

It's a weakness from men who have little clue how to date.

 

Of course ultimately that doesn't make you happy and is not a Life Purpose.

So even tho it seems unfair at first there is really nothing to be jealous about.

 

Wanting positive experience is a negative experience.
Accepting negative experience is a positive experience
- Mark Manson

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, women like Kim Kardashian who say that they work their “fucking ass” off to become successful and market their brand, are full shit?

Or how about some of these female pornstars or models who say that “a lot of people don’t know what it’s like to do the kind of work I do. It takes a lot of work to post new Instagram pics for my fans, workout at least 3-4 times a week to keep my self in shape, do my actual job, and take care of my family, partner, or what have you. If I don’t keep up what I am doing everyday then I’ll lose my subscribes, fans, business, etc.” ?

I'm sure those girls work pretty hard.

But they get paid disproportionally for their work, and they get many opportunities a guy would never get.

Many people work hard and don't get far.

Edited March 21, 2023 by Leo Gura