eos_nyxia

"The Great Reset"

8 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I thought I'd give this public self-expression thing another go, though mostly I've given up on it at this point in time.

I have no explicit expectations of it going anywhere for personal benefit, nor do I have any hopes about people understanding me (whether specific people or just generally). At least in my past, this has been a decent foundation for actually expressing myself coherent, conclusive way.

 

So... why not?

All I have to lose is more of my own time and energy.

Edited by eos_nyxia
Talk like you're the only person in the room. Well... sort of.

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Posted (edited)

ZIPPED MOUTH:

It sure is difficult to convince myself to REALLY open up and say what's actually on my mind, and what I'm actually feeling these days. It's like I still keep vacillating between two extremes, though I've told myself it'd be long over by now already. But the only one who can properly end it is myself, and that's whether I choose to talk or not. It really is all about presence, staying open, and prioritizing unity and resolution (finishing up one's business) before everything else.

But... I struggle to say what's really on my mind, what I've really been experiencing.

  1. There is this urge to sanitize my own experience, and to only talk about the most pleasant and "view worthy" aspets of it.
  2. I struggle with the meaning of my own presence in this world still, specifically in relation to other people, including all the things that I kept 100% hidden in the past.

Anyway, this is usually where I go straight to the heart of it and focus on the most difficult and unpleasant things to say, as it's usually quicker and more direct....

 

Edited by eos_nyxia
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Posted (edited)

I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON THOUGH: (oh great, here come the confessionals)

 

1) I was 15 when I started practicing remote viewing and influencing, already setting in place a rudimentary set of protocols and ethics I would abide by, which became the foundation for how I would approach these matters for the rest of my life. This has been an essential part of what I deemed “the terrible job that doesn’t pay” (which I must do, for some deep sense of responsibility to this planet (and humanity by extension). At the time, I relied on nothing but a strong sense of knowing the business of how these things should be done, and adapted it for my current lifetime and context. In this life, I chose to do everything that I could do manually rather than automatically (which has resulted in an inordinate amount of time and energy focusing on the ugly and the harmful for the sake of closely examining all of the aspects possible, as if studying it under a microscope, and causing myself great suffering as a result).

I have taken this up and put it down more times than I can count, while asking myself why someone else hasn't done this work yet.

I took it up at that age, quickly noticing that I was doing a job that others seemed not to be capable of doing. It certainly had not been done so far. I mean: look at it. Look at the state not just of the collective consciousness, but the collective unconsciousness. All the things which people hide that they think have no direct impact on things. I have been scanning for YEARS since then. There really have not been many takers for this particular variety of insane work, lol.

(It wasn't until later that I became aware that I’ve also had a whole ton of unintentional direct influence simply by virtue of being myself and being open, though it seems the opposite is also true and has its own set of issues. I had no concept in my early-mid teens of my absence mattering to anyone beyond my little IRL bubble.)

 

2) In direct consciousness, I have both aided and maimed.

At times, I have made a conscious choice to both take lives (snapping the proverbial silver cord) and to trigger irreparable insanity (as in: the time of mental states and disorganization that perhaps I can only find my way out of unaided and uninfluenced... and I have, repeatedly), and to be honest,... I have done much "worse" than this, at least by my own standards. Death... is temporary. And often much easier in the process than realized, it's just that fear convinces us otherwise, and many are not apt to choose to let go of all which must be let go of anyway, if you are to leave your body.

In the case of who and what is unsalvagable, as in corrupted beyond measure, I sometimes instigate "soul disintegration" or "soul death". An absolute snuffing of a subjective consciousness which is ceased from being allowed to continue. Or at the very minimum, I seek to make it impossible for certain expressions to ever return to Earth, whether the ID in them wants it or not. I have, at times, agonized on these decisions, knowing full well the superfluousness of my own agonizing. (Like: what difference does it make if you're going to try to do it anyway?) That I would torture myself to make myself morally consistent and justifiable in my own eyes: that is my doing.

My golden rule is "I would not subject any other being to anything I would not also directly subject myself to" (and from here I avoid a whole host of future sins and problems). So I made sure to subject myself to the worst of the worst first, damned if there is anything left of me, to the fullest extent possible within a limited time frame (because we all must move on sooner or later). And still... I torture myself about it all.

Once... I was a 12 year old girl who daydreamed only in idealism. I would have cried if people stepped on a spider instead of taking it outside, upset by people's callous and reckless unseeing and unfeeling, and disrespect for life. And I was deeply upset by all of the soulless violence in this world. (And still, I am this way. I deeply do not care for people who extinguish “unimportant lives” just because it’s not even worth another second thought.)

And now? In psychic, collective space: there are people who are the ants that I step on. However precisely I do it, there are casualties as a result of my stepping, as chosen as the lesser of multiple necessary evils. And so I cannot allow my perception cannot be allowed to be anything less than correct as possible or else I will not be able to justify it to myself. (I mean... I can barely justify it as it is.)

On this level: I have no intrinsic respect for people’s traditions, people’s borders of countries, their entitlements, their identities, simply because they exist. I must disregard them, and only consider the fastest and safest route to the new world.

When I deliberately and conscientiously regulate people to “unsentient” status, I feel like I’m fucking 14 years old again. Not a great feeling. And yet I feel myself going here and doing this in my IRL life too. Not to harm, but simply to unburden myself from being concerned about the sentience which does not exist in a number of people. Like... we are the same species. That is mostly it. So I.....

  • I judge.
  • I take away.
  • I deny.
  • I have misdirected. Quite a lot, actually.
  • I have caused people to proudly confess things that they would not normally otherwise choose to do, in the light of day, so that others will turn against them.

WHO ARE YOU TO BE THE ARBITRATOR OF TRUTH? Well it is what it is: it keeps showing up on my doorstep. Whether I am likeable or lovable or not, whether I am believable or not, whether I am morally justifiable or not. Something must be done of it, or else people and circumstances will be allowed to run their course, and as a species, we do not have time for this. We have NEVER had time for this in this particular lifetime to live as if we are boomers, environmentally speaking especially. We have less and less time for such huge margins of error in perception and action the more time moves forward. Everything must converge.

I have seen through people’s eyes: praying desperately whatever god or spirit in their dying moments, knowing full well what this feels like to be subject to that level of fear, and laughed at them. Pray to whatever god or guru you want, do you think they can hear you, and if they can, do you think they can do anything?  I take the images and imprints of their lives, including their last moments, and I absorb it, in my way. And yet...that they “deserved it” is not something I find right to be justified away thoughtlessly by default. My perspective: mostly all the perpetual “sins” of this world come from just doing this. All of this: this must end here.

 

I watch the news: one day, two days, a week, or a month.

I see how immediately something can materialize beforehand, give or take.

It is routine. It doesn't make me feel powerful. Or special. Or important. There is no surprise, increasing I have a sense of the exact time span something will happen. It's a job that I sometimes wish I could give away, that I can't, but that I don't really want to give away because I guess don't actually think anyone else can handle it. Not on a moral level, not psychically, and especially the sheer impact of handling a massive amount of what I call "psychic entropy" in the body, which causes both body and psyche to deteriorate if not handled swiftly and appropriately. I would certainly not want anyone that I truly loved or cared about to be burdened with dealing with any of the things I have dealt with directly in the collective consciousness. And I've been frustrated that I still haven't fully moved on from this all:... like, WTH does any of this have to do with me living a happy and healthy life??? It has been one of the many things which has been deeply, profoundly isolating. And a secret I was prepared to die with, if only I had died sooner though.

 

3) Very rarely I have told people these things in plain language to their face, and sometimes they think I just foresee the future. A small part of me has sometimes been offended, as if seeing future paths is something to snuff at (it's not). Almost always I have gone along with that, because not only do I not have to bother with anyone’s skepticism (as if it makes any difference in what I choose do and the actual results of it most of the time), and I don’t have to deal with any potential moral judgment. Because all of this takes up enough of my time and energy as it is, even though at this point: it's at the effort level of a snap of the fingers a release. (If there is an "open space" for something to happen: it is effortless. Waiting is only really just for that.)

Plausible deniability has been my ally this whole time, but especially when I was younger. And I have been evasive wherever I have been the most serious, because the last thing I've needed is people’s eyeballs and opinions placing energy and thought intention, potentially obstructing, particularly the less "together" and more conflicted I've been, and the more I've been weighed down in other ways. RVing and remote influence have obeyed the principle of shadow influence as the dominating force in this world, at least in a modern era. Likewise, you are stronger in the shadows where you have more maneuverability. Most of the most powerful puppetering figures of this world are not on the world news.  For what it's worth, things were actually different in antiquity though. More than ever, most of what structures this human world is the hidden part of the iceberg, and anyway, it’s only been quite recently that I focused on what would become directly visible in the news (circa about 2015).... as things finally started to shift. In the collective consciousness: what what sealed inside started to turn inside out.

 

4) Only my husband gets to hear who and what is on my "hit list" and gets to hear me complain about having one. And then he tells me I'm not the monster I feel like I am at times, that I have felt like this whole time. He encourages me to think of my choices as an extension of self-defence. (And I'm like... why, they're not attacking me directly? He says: they're attacking the world at large. Just thinking of how many women, men, and children this one person (very recent) have maimed and killed? And then I tell him: the people I target have no remorse: I know that they cannot be said to be sentient. And yet... I agonize over what I do, often for years. Why do these people get to do whatever TF they do without remorse, and I still have to have DAMN FEELINGS about say... targeting a serial child rapist who uses god, tradition, and the government to claim his choices as holy? Last previous time I dealt with "Iran" because it showed itself on my doorstep in this form...)

 

I’m doing this STILL.

And I hate it.

Why can’t humanity just get its shit together already?

Oh, because we’re tribal and we have to defend and justify the stuff, our past actions, our identities to ourselves, like our lives depend on it. Not only that, we have to call it moral and defend that too.

Great. Well I have no issue using the full extent of whatever power I have to maim those who would ultimately kill us all if left to it, or who would make this planet uninhabitable, all while "getting theirs".

In this way, I always serve the planet first, and humanity second. Some people think these people deserve to be called "human", apparently, because they serve one cause on their agenda or another.

Edited by eos_nyxia

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Posted (edited)

THE CELL UNDIVIDED:

 

Ring around the rosie

A pocket full of posies,

To which they fill their hands...

They take a sniff, inhale the pollen

Not noticing: the air blossoms the mutagen.

 

Out of my Chrysalis:

I took one look, and said:

These people will not listen yet.

Make the shard, cut through to their attention.

Time is of the essence.

(Their ears divide, as do they, inside)

 

Lo and behold: it’s early 2020.

The breath gets caught in their lungs... is it fear, or the motions of the Unseen World?

The voices of the microbes, all the cells and sine waves of the World whisper to me, as they always have...

In sensation, thought, feeling.

In every infinitesimal detail, the small as the large.

In tiny pieces, and in the one hum of OM.

And this time, I whisper back, not just to watch...

 

Ring around the rosie,

A pocket full of posies:

HUSH now! Or you’ll all fall down!

One by one, they drop like flies.

Plane crashes... as their cells as their thoughts, amplified... divide.

Oops! Human happenings swallowed by the mist and woods. (To this human, the others threw a "special title".)

Sent by a message on the wind.

And look.

Another fly just dropped to the ground.

 

Don't you know the truth?

The wind and ground spoke to me first, as a child.

And now, it speaks as me, as WILL, as the Cell Undivided.

 

300 crows swarm my lawn one day and nowhere else (true story.),

A charmed city rat comes to sit at my feet: to look into my eyes,

To see me for Who I Am, as I take the fear of living out of their breath.

And I spend my nights telepathically talking to bats, and all the forgotten and unloved creatures...

To revel in their beingness and to live in all their senses.

In holy communion, as covenant.

 

Aren’t we all too inside our own bubble, to be subjected by nature?

Too late, the house of cards comes crumbling down...

Again, the Unseen World comes to balance our actions.

Fungus and bacteria consume our new-age disposables, as it always has.

Mercury and cadmium become both fire to cripple and fuel to feed and transform us,

So set our cells on fire and watch the world burn with us, to transform, as we always have, in our quest for alchemy.

 

Of this, and the many, many other things to come.....

I choose only to whisper.


 

Edited by eos_nyxia
(Please tell me, how can you love me, when I am this? Do you even recognize me at all, in all this?) Do you not love first your world, your values, your people, your surroundings first, and what you know? (as opposed to what you don't yet know but will)

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Posted (edited)

OCTOBER 7, 2023// THE RIVER OF BLOOD:

I had already convinced myself to go back into a chrysalis of my own making. Slowly but surely, I withdrew and wrapped myself up in there... my little life, for better and for worse. Mostly I did not want to be seen anymore, so I did not want to be found either.

I said: there is nothing for the world for me out there, not like I was looking for, not here, not right now. It might as well be in some future world in a future life, whether it actually ends up being that way or not. In this life: I’ve learned the virtue of keeping my expectations as low as humanly possible, while doing my best to make room for better. Perhaps there is room for new dreams wearing a different face in this life still, but that will come with time and emotional stillness, like sediment settling to the bottom of a raging river.

As usual: I wait. I build. I clear out. I revise. At a pace that often seems much too slow for my own liking.

Day cycles and night cycles blur into one seamless oblivion.

Day cycles:

  • I had just started to care for my now functionally blind father who lives in a city nearby, while my mom went to Hong Kong to sort out financial details related to my maternal grandfather's death. (more odd supernatural stuff relating to that which I might write about later!)
  • art, and such.
  • focusing on my husband and our relationship, and such. (you know, the only person who has actually ever truly been there for me in my time of need???)
  • focusing on living in this world, and such, and whatever joy and meaning I can find and create through my means, as it presents itself continually to me. Because what else is there? (I have no more faith to place in humanity because there is none to have, because faith and hope never got anything done for me or the world (as far as I know), but that is beside the point, no?)
  • slowly building future plans, and such.

Night cycles:

  • I follow the trails of bats and rats throughout the city. I retreat to the forest for peace, joy, and solitude.
  • Soaking in the moon and starlight energies. Listening to their stories. Feeling. Purely feeling and being. Breathing, moving, nourishing myself and focusing on settling in the body and senses in an elated but expansive way, instead of focusing on doing and accomplishing. Grounding.

Then October 7th happened, after about 2 weeks since I started caring for my father, who I had also been in the process of deepening my relationship with to the best of my ability, including repairing gaps and fractures in my way of relating to him.

For 2 weeks: I waded waist-deep in the blood of the fallen. Feeling the fallen, and those who had yet to fall, feeling their pain, their screaming, the severed body parts, the bleeding, the shells dropping, the shots being fired, the intermediary space of sentient beings transitioning between being housed in a body and not, the fear and rage, the physical damage being done to the land and air, the bonds between the identity to land, family and country between pulled apart at the seams. To be clear: I do mean I felt this from both sides, though let’s just say one river of blood runs considerably deeper in this current era (so I’m sure it’s clear now where I stand about this). Perhaps it would surprise no one, but I had a lot of trouble eating and sleeping then, and for 2 weeks the sounds and the feelings didn’t stop, and also I stopped being able to dream and this THING just engulfed everything as one homogeneous, endless blobby mass of blood and suffering. (Though honestly it still wasn’t that bad compared to what I had experienced before earlier in my life as a teenager, and absolutely nothing compared to how TOTAL the summer of 2019 was like for me. I am a 20+ year veteran of this sort of thing now, after all. This is my “shitty profession that doesn’t pay”, as mentioned above.)

(Also to be clear: the pain I experienced did not sink to the level of body memory, where obviously it would have been stuck that way for an uncountable number of years as trauma and pain, and I do not consider it to be on-par with what people go through directly, even if let’s say, I am exposed to the same degree of psychological pain, confusion, havoc, that anyone going through such an experience would be in IRL.)

Anyway, because I am a veteran at handling this sort of thing, I can continue my life as normal (see above), despite whatever it is that I experienced otherwise in association with this conflict.

 

At the same time of experiencing this, I got to see:

Politicians and (mostly) women with pretty faces and friendly demeanours, like actresses and singers, but also actors, producers (and associated), as well as ordinary Israelis try to forcibly shoehorn people into siding with them over their actions done in the spirit of "pure self-preservation", because THEIR LOSSES, THEIR LOSSES, THEIR LOSSES. People siding with them, because Israel. If not?: You’re anti-Semitic.

Personally, after going through this thought process with myself multiple times in the past (which amounts to: I don’t know? Am I actually anti-Semitic without realizing it, simply because I disagree with their actions? Am I actually unfairly singling them out?? Do I have some hidden bias toward them that I'm actually not aware of?), I got fucking tired of second-guessing myself. Especially from people who clearly would not bother to go through a similar sort of self-questioning process themselves if it did not personally suit the preservation of their culture, their country, their children, especially if there was any actual risk to their lives, well-being, or identity. The sheer consensus of unselfconscious entitlement and self-centeredness was really hard for me to wrap my head around.

About a week in, I saw TWO PATHS at a crossroads: (let's just say that I'm just using ESP feeling and seeing, and not book knowledge nor things I have learned from people)

  1. They do this in a more veiled and diffused manner, in terms of political choices, and at the level of political and public cultural discourse. It will be a continuation of whatever conflicts they’ve had in the past (of which I admittedly know very little even now; I avoided political discourse growing up), but more intense. This will end in full-scale war anyway and more violence, but it will build up for longer before it explodes out, like a proverbial pressure cooker. More people will ultimately die and the suffering of the Palestinians will be dragged out.
  2. Their “face” gets ripped off, and their pretenses along with it, like a bandage. Politicians will be more direct about what they’re doing and why, in plain sight without remorse for everyone to see with less deflection, and whatever damage they do is quick and dirty. The world sees them for what they are, morally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. Less people appear to die this way, and the suffering being dragged out is minimized.

In either case, war appeared to be unavoidable at this point. It seemed to be unsalvageable no matter what way I looked at it. “THE OPENING” as it appeared to me, was whether things should veer toward 1) or 2).  2) was the right choice, IMO.

So... I use whatever I have at my disposal, take it for what you will.

 

In other words, the conflict found its way to my doorstep, rather than me seeking it out.

To be honest: I took one look at what was in their collective hearts within that first week, and was disgusted. Yes, I did judge them more harshly than others who have engaged in and justified wars, but then they did go around trying to "forcibly convert" people (for lack of a better term) to their perspective instead of just getting on with their business of subjugation and killing. I saw what they wanted to do and what they were willing to justify shamelessly as pure self-defence, and I was just DONE. After two weeks of ....this (see above), I was no longer distant and neutral like I normally strive to centre myself when it comes to human conflicts, as I experience conflict quite directly in my own body and nervous system directly if I am overly open to it for whatever reason (rather than simply reacting to the idea of it, empathetically or mentally). I used veiled language about it, but I was pissed TF off. I didn’t want to hear the endless justifications and rationalizations; I was done. And one way or another, the heart of this conflict, as its been festering for decades and decades, must be exposed to the light of day properly. I don't just mean to collective human perception and judgement in general, but to "The Spirit of Things" (an extension of being a living, breathing being on this planet sharing a world with others).

And also: I could not have that disgust without also having disgust at myself for being defacto involved with this by being myself and existing on the same planet as people. But I don't favourably look at negligence and deflecting from responsibilities and reality (from my own side). Better to bathe my hands in blood (in my way), suffer the consequences, and wash them by my own means, rather than to do what I know in my heart to be avoidance and denial.

Not the first time I’ve found myself by default involved in conflicts which I would prefer to ignore and have people do anything else with it, but here I am.

 

(Good lord, I did not really enjoy writing all of that. Actually, I tried to write this out about a month or two ago, but struggled a lot, because of how icky I find all of it. Like damn people, sort out your land-entitlement issues... Literally would be rather doing anything else.

On the flip side: I no longer felt bad about wanting to have absolutely nothing to do with on any level anyone who would wholeheartedly support this sort of conflict, and do not feel responsible for those people anymore on any level, personal or otherwise.

They made their choices, and I’m done. I've washed my hands of them.)

Edited by eos_nyxia

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Posted (edited)

If you say you won’t forget about me,

That you won’t let me go (or can’t),

That I mean the world,

I hear you also say: you exist to me to furnish my imagination.

It’s not a compliment anymore. Was it ever?


 

Once, I thought maybe I could step into a different life,

One that flowed freely from my heart and hands,

Maybe the one with you there, all of us: the sun on our faces,

Music, meaning, feeling, shared breath...

But really, it was just another -way above my pay grade- thing,

A hopeful fantasy for a life that resists taking roots at every corner

 

Because: the body has memory,

The body has memory,

...The body has memory.

Echoes of the past, blowing as chill wind in hollowed-out desert spaces
 

Really... I’m just a girl in an empty dark room pressing buttons, making things happen.

Like I always was.

 

Once, it was locked. Now I stay in there, ready and willing to slam the door shut.

No need to get overly excited about that?

No need to make it a spectacle for consumption?

No need to pretend like it matters?

After all, they barely noticed when I left the room anyway,

Whether to slit myself heart-to-throat, wrist-from-bone

Or to take yet another coffee break

 

That’s what happens to people who are in love with the echoes in their imagination.

It’s the same with all of them, every time.

Why should I care, if you’re never there, if you never bothered to show up, or to stay?

Why should I foot more of this shared bill than I already have, while you party and nest away?

How am I supposed to take my absence to you seriously, when you get to live your life, either way?

You've all shown me: whether I live or die, it's all the same.

As long as you have the appearance and the shape, like an echo, you get served.

 

Words and thoughts about me, cheap like love notes scrawled on receipts.

Is this what I deserve?

Is this what I deserve?

You..... all?

Edited by eos_nyxia
(At least have the decency to wait until I’ve left this body, after all, the dead don’t protest like the living do.)

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UNSTRUCTURED THOUGHTS:

 

I was not your madonna

Nor your scarlet adventure,

An effigy to play with in your imagination,

And I am NOT the crone

 

I am not your witch, or goddess, or angel,

Nor your temptress or mother figure,

White, red, or black.

(What makes you think you don’t have to earn that?)

 

I am probably not your saviour or healer either,

though I could be if I wanted,

But I don’t dry grown little-boy tears, not for free,

And I probably won’t save you from yourself.

 

To you-at-large: you know that I don’t have to share anything with you of value, right?  (Sometimes, I feel like this is my only real trump card in the grand scheme of things, but this is only especially true as long as my own self-interest runs in circles and goes absolutely nowhere, as far as I am aware.)

 

So don’t act like I exist for you on a personal level.

Don’t make it overly personal.

Because to live for you, personally speaking...

...means I get to satisfy you by existing,

While you get to do whatever the fuck you want, personally speaking?

No thanks.

 

If you want to make it personal, make it personal and right to my face, or leave it alone.

(By the way, I’m not a fucking narrative either.)

 

It would be sufficiently polite,

if you want me to be or do something of value,

even simply being open in a way that benefits you,

maybe just maybe, only uplift me

...or why even bother?

(...don’t you have somewhere else more important to be, and someone else to be with?)

((By the way, I am also not your free ticket into your integration in the world as it is, as it is becoming.))

 

Well, I will probably not bother to explicitly point out what I want anymore, for the most part.

In this life, I did not sacrifice my whole life, since childhood, to service a bunch of dilettantes and give them free access to myself, at all times, without condition (but like, especially the Good Stuff!!). Like let’s be real: most of this shit wasn’t worth taking very seriously. SERVING me? Please. Chances are though that I probably have a decent idea why you think "serving me" whatever way you do, if you still do it, is that way. I'm not sure... if many of you know much at all.

You understand what my end point is, right?

  • If I was a free ride, where you got to pick and choose what you wanted to keep, then the free ride’s been over for a bit...
  • Some people, as far as I’m concerned, are beyond “saving” directly, at this point. (By “saving”, I mean beyond reach in a meaningful way.) There is no more time, and I am done being patient. Some people have made me not want to be open to them ever again, and that is not my problem anymore. It’s a permanent thing too, by the way, as I have the full intention to end the connection forever. There is nothing that they can do one way or another to change my mind now, They get what they get, and they got what they got. Maybe it will be enough. What this actually does though, is perhaps not for your eyes at all.     (So like... continue your regularly scheduled programming!)
  • If somehow, connections survive everything I choose, then I will likely let it be, and not bother with it anymore. It was a major pain in the ass, making this all matter like it did. Likely it will open for many. There is perhaps an even greater benefit that you do not need to know or see anything about me directly too! (And that’s the definition of a free ride, isn’t it?)

That is and has been a greater purpose of the “process of elimination”. You make the decisions, choices, and actions, and then I watch quietly. (It’s probably not best... to assume that I haven’t been watching or aware of you, by the way.) I guess on some deep level that I would have never been able to articulate when I was younger, that I’ve wanted to see how you all would react without me, who you are, what you value, and what you do. I've wanted to see what you've become.

I’ve ....seen more than enough.

My endpoint also is that I do not need to consult people’s opinions about the choices that I make that are more in line with "direct influence", since I never actually had to before either; I made them in secrecy, in a vacuum. Especially people’s opinions about the future world: their pre-formed opinions factor not at all into what I do, and I am not beholden to them, nor do I have to serve them or their self-interests at all. (For example, the population or the environment.) Not their jurisdiction, especially for things that extend beyond the life span and scope of the physical body. Therefore their thoughts and opinions make no practical difference at all. I guess I've just liked writing it out for shits.

 

Edited by eos_nyxia
Never in this life have I explicitly identified with the crone, my aged and destructive "face" I've identified with as mainly "masculine", or else it is not a crone.

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