Can anyone help me wake up right now?

[InfinityBeats]

I feel like I've questioned and explored reality and my beliefs to the point where I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I can't have goals like I used to because I know they won't fulfill me in the way that I used to at least believe they would.

I still do stuff like go to the gym, meditate, work on my career etc. but it's hard to really push through obstacles when they come up because it feels pointless to struggle to achieve a goal that won't ultimately satisfy me.

When I feel like this, kind of like I do right now because I had a headache and decided not to go to the gym because of it, I just don't know what to do with myself. I was watching some videos about awakening hoping they would maybe help me get that permanent identity shift tonight which could hopefully put an end to all this seeking and "free" me, but so far nothing.

I can just sit and do nothing- observe how my mind is craving answers, but becoming aware of it doesn't seem to change anything. How long am I supposed to do this for? Every time I've done it in the past, I came out of it with nothing and once again I feel like I need to "figure something out" so I can be free from this seeking.

I have beliefs about solipsism and whatever, so I sincerely don't know if there is any "real" people out there that can help me, however I figured I should just act authentically, and right now me being authentic is me making this post and hoping that it helps me.

[Yimpa]

Leo is coming out with a course this year. I’d invest in that

[InfinityBeats]

That just feels like another story, another future goal, another thought.

Nothing that isn't here right now feels real to me, which is why I'm hoping for someone to help me untangle this right now.

[InfinityBeats]

But to be fair, there are certain thoughts/stories in my head that still have a grasp on me to some degree.

I feel present right now, but I believe that If I sit here for long enough, something will make me give up and go to sleep, such as the thought that I have to work tomorrow so if I don't give up and go to sleep, I will end up tired all day tomorrow.

[Yimpa]

5 minutes ago, InfinityBeats said:

Nothing that isn't here right now feels real to me, which is why I'm hoping for someone to help me untangle this right now.

Can you elaborate on this? I’m confused. 

[InfinityBeats]

My self identity is just a bunch of thoughts. I have no idea what "I", the thing looking right now truly is.
To even say there is a thing looking is just more thoughts. But there is clearly an "aliveness"

[InfinityBeats]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

Can you elaborate on this? I’m confused. 

This video sums it up well

 

[InfinityBeats]

2 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Can you elaborate on this? I’m confused. 

And to elaborate on "which is why I'm hoping for someone to help me untangle this right now."
I guess I'm hoping for someone to help free me.
I am imagining that there is something wrong, and that someone other than me can help me fix it.

To more accurately drill into what I'm feeling, I'm feeling frustrated that I'm not awake/enlightened or that I have not yet awoken to the no self realization. This frustration feels like physical sensations that I guess I'm resisting on some level + fearing/dreading continuing to experience them for who knows how long. I will try to just allow them and inquire into them.

[Yimpa]

22 minutes ago, InfinityBeats said:

I will try to just allow them and inquire into them.

Do you also have any experience with psychedelics? You seem really serious about this work.

[Leo Gura]

@InfinityBeats What you need is not help Awakening but rather getting back to the basics of earthly life and basic self-help.

You need to reconnect with living a meaningful life that you believe in and which makes you satisfied.

This attitude that you are too woke to enjoy basic life is nonsense. This is a dysfunction, not proper Awakening.

You should be able to sit down, read a book -- or engage in whatever hobby -- and be happy.

Watch my next video. It will be about happiness.

Edited March 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[InfinityBeats]

I do and I have woken up on psychedelics but I have always "come back" into the illusion, both voluntarily due to not wanting to be alone, or involuntarily due to the drug wearing off and me essentially accidentally getting caught up in beliefs/thoughts until I could no longer see Oneness/God/Infinity/Self/Truth anymore.

I could go on and on talking about those experiences, but that would just be more thoughts. Plus the memories of the experiences themselves are also just thoughts now so they might as well have not even happened, plus I feel like if anything, they are misleading me by creating an expectation of what awakening should be.

[InfinityBeats]

@Leo Gura For the most part, I've been really happy, especially due to teachings such as those of Abraham Hicks, which have shifted my focus away from expecting future things/accomplishments to make me feel better to just accepting that feeling better is all I want, and if I feel good and satisfied then the manifestations don't matter.
Since getting into that about a year and a half ago, my general happiness levels have truly skyrocketed, and I feel deep appreciation whenever I recognize that I'm doing something that I like and makes me feel good, such as reading a book, watching a TV show, going for a walk, having a good workout etc.

My post isn't talking about my life as a whole, it's talking about these moments that come along where I get stuck craving "enlightenment", and even though I'm generally happy in life, there are moments where this wanting of enlightenment is basically an annoying thorn in my side that I just want to get rid of, and I've tried just accepting the desire for enlightenment, and I've also tried meditating regularly, but it hasn't really made it go away so I'm trying to now push on it a bit more.

[InfinityBeats]

And to add to the above, my "wordly" life is generally successful as well. I have a great relationship and am about to get married, I have a great career that pays well with a job that I really don't mind, and I have tons of hobbies. It's just this spiritual seeking that feels like an addiction that I want to get rid of once and for all but can't seem to.

[puporing]

It's not a sprint but while you're awakening it can feel like "something is not finished", because it is your "higher self" telling you there's more to realize and awaken to. And yeah it can be hard to do it mostly alone too. In my experience every awakening requires integration afterward and for me to bring it to baseline consciousness. That's how I approach it anyway - bring it to baseline (as in, you have processed it enough to not be in a state of conflict with the information you've received) and then go for the "next awakening". And this process can take months or years depending on what you are truly ready for. 

Also there's much sober awakeings/realizations. Eg, just you reading these words is a kind of awakening. Guidance can come from this plane as much as the others if you tune up the "truth dial" and know where to look.

Edited March 13, 2023 by puporing

[Leo Gura]

19 minutes ago, InfinityBeats said:

My post isn't talking about my life as a whole, it's talking about these moments that come along where I get stuck craving "enlightenment", and even though I'm generally happy in life, there are moments where this wanting of enlightenment is basically an annoying thorn in my side that I just want to get rid of, and I've tried just accepting the desire for enlightenment, and I've also tried meditating regularly, but it hasn't really made it go away so I'm trying to now push on it a bit more.

I see.

Well, yeah, spiritual seeking is actually a great source of suffering. However it is necessary to a degree if you want to Awaken.

[Breakingthewall]

@InfinityBeats

Have you tried doing a complete breakthrough with 5 meo once a week approx? or alternate 5 meo and lsd, trip at night, so you have the day to do what you want, although with a little tiredness. Also, meditate for an hour every day. 

that is my project, although it is difficult for me to break through with 5meo, plugging or snorting does not work even if I do 35 mg. vaping yes... it will have to be vaped

[flowboy]