HMD

Physical Attraction in Dating

13 posts in this topic

So I met a girl online, she was a 7 or an 8 (According to herself).

We texted for a day or two on instagram and there was plenty that we had in common (she listens to Leo as well). And after this back and forth, I asked her out by saying if she was looking for a relationship or not. 

And she politely declined by saying that she didn't feel attracted to me physically. She said women have a type physically, it doesn't depend on big muscles, and that she didn't feel attracted to 10s in fact, most of her exs' were 6s or 7s. 

So, what do you guys think this is? What role does physical attraction play in a relationship?


"The wise seek wisdom, a fool has found it."

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Obviously she must feel attraction for you.

But girls are mostly attracted by how you make them feel. Talking to them logically about it does no good. This is why you develop game and why you talk to many girls, not one. You screen them for attraction very quickly and early on so you don't waste your time.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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You were having a boring ,non stimulating friendly chatter that was leading nowhere,causes her to see that you are not the one she feels attracted to.You positioned yourself as a friendly guy,you didnt give her the reason why she should see you. Yes every girl has their type but will forget about it if you know what you are doing.If she was leading the conversation towards something boring im sure she did, you have to push it towards where you want to go to a meet up.(i can give you an example how to use what shes saying to push it towards where you want it to go if i saw text messages)..

She has to think like :ok this guy is not my type,but something about him is pushing me to be with him.

Leo said it all in few sentences its all about seeing if shes biting or not quickly...

 

Edited by NoSelfSelf

Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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On 3/11/2023 at 3:56 PM, HMD said:

I asked her out by saying if she was looking for a relationship or not.

terrible move

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On 11/03/2023 at 10:56 PM, HMD said:

I asked her out by saying if she was looking for a relationship or not. 

Ok so you're an absolute beginner and don't understand anything about women.

Fair enough.

Here's what I think will help you: don't ever expect logic to move things forward.

You put her in her head and made her think about what she is attracted to and whether you fit the requirements. That's logic. Now it's over.

Don't ever go logical.

Always make her feel things, like being funny, silly, sharing stories that contain emotions, tease her, don't take her too seriously.

Instead you need to be playful and invite her to do something with you for a stupid funny reason.

With the next one, because there's no recovering from this.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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@Leo Gura @NoSelfSelf @flowboy So, It's the same thing pointed out by all of you. Too much Logic, too little emotion. Noted.

I already knew this principle, but this time I thought maybe, just this one time, because we hold the same values and follow the same teachings etc, that it would be enough. 

And Btw, I discussed all of this with her, but she insisted that it was purely physical, and that she has been through the phase where all of this works, and now she can see through it. She also insited even if I had been more charismatic and less logical, her decision would have been the same. 

On 3/13/2023 at 2:17 PM, flowboy said:

With the next one, because there's no recovering from this

:ph34r:


"The wise seek wisdom, a fool has found it."

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@HMD You discussed with her ?pls dont do that ever,trying to negotiate attraction ouch.


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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@NoSelfSelf

Hahah no, it wasn't negotiation. Just for the sake of understanding. 


"The wise seek wisdom, a fool has found it."

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1 hour ago, HMD said:

I already knew this principle, but this time I thought maybe, just this one time, because we hold the same values and follow the same teachings etc, that it would be enough. 

I've tried to do this many times, painfully unsuccessfully, so I don't mean to come off harsh or judgmental.

It just never works.

1 hour ago, HMD said:

I discussed all of this with her, but she insisted that it was purely physical, and that she has been through the phase where all of this works, and now she can see through it. She also insited even if I had been more charismatic and less logical, her decision would have been the same. 

Don't expect the average man to be conscious of what actually works on men, don't expect the average woman to be conscious of what actually works on her.

She's not the authority you should look to, your own experience is.

It's very frustrating but she doesn't know what would actually work on her, even though she'll think she does, so she might be just wrong here and you'll never know. Or she might be right, sometimes people are just not your type, but regardless, bringing up this topic in a logical manner ensures that you'll never date her.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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2 hours ago, HMD said:

And Btw, I discussed all of this with her, but she insisted that it was purely physical,

Look, of course not all girls are gonna like you physically. She might be right, but you'll never really know because you didn't really charm her. Girls are suseptible to charm and their attraction is highly mood-based. You have to catch a girl in the right mood, or even create the mood in her.

But yes, physical attraction is an important factor. You overcome this by hitting on lots of different girls until one hooks. Girls like various looks of guy.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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1 hour ago, flowboy said:

It just never works

@flowboy Yeah, that's pretty clear now ... 

 

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

She's not the authority you should look to, your own experience is.

Of course. Direct experience outweighsthe rest. But it's interesting to observe how different women precieve themselves, especially in terms of attraction and being charmed.

 


"The wise seek wisdom, a fool has found it."

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@Leo Gura

48 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

you'll never really know because you didn't really charm her.

Exactly. There is no way to be sure. 

 

50 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

or even create the mood in her

... which is much more rewarding, imo, then just catching her in the right mood. 

 

52 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

But yes, physical attraction is an important factor. You overcome this by hitting on lots of different girls until one hooks. Girls like various looks of guy.

For sure. 


"The wise seek wisdom, a fool has found it."

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@Leo Gura I can relate to the woman. I don't know if I think differently from the "average woman" but at least for me, it goes both ways. I have rejected a good man in my past based on the fact that I just didn't feel attracted to him. He was charming, handsome for a lot of people, and was a whole package. For some reason I just didn't feel the chemistry. On the other hand I have also been with good looking men, I'm talking 8 or 7 over 10. I was charmed purely by their looks, they proved to have no charm or character traits that I admired. Depends on the person. And after some amount of self development its true, I can usually see through men who are trying to charm me or get me in a mood even if they are very skilled with women. Although it takes time to see through that but it goes hand in hand with becoming a good judge of character. I just question the shit out of him until he gets tired. Coming to my next point, this also depends on the individual but I personally admire and cherish men who love having logical discussions with me it shows that they really value truth which is one of my top priority too. I find it repulsive and immediately unattractive when a man tells me he doesn't have the mind to hear me out or he doesn't understand basic simple concepts. I value intellect in a man. He doesn't have to be charming or skilled with me


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