What Makes A Good Man?

[Matt23]

15 minutes ago, Juan said:

Answering the thread, it seems like a tricky but deep question. Some people are answering stuff that also qualifies a good woman imo like being honest, compassion, kindness, etc. 

I have to study deeper into sexuality (what makes a man a man and a woman a woman) before make such conclusions. 

Yes.  I know there is this whole thing about empathy and compassion and the like being also masculine things as well... and ya, like, of course there's a balance and stuff... but also I think there is something unique in the male psyche that attracts him to certain virtues over others; some just feel more meaningful.  

For example, I literally cried ("crying" is putting it mildly.  It was something that was like I NEED THIS) for 30 minutes when I read Alexander Beiner's essay on masculinity (he's a co-founder of Rebel Wisdom)

• I believe many people, regardless of sex or orientation, are craving stories that celebrate masculinity. That don’t demean men and boys for their preference for connecting shoulder to shoulder instead of face to face. Stories that don’t shame men who prefer not to express their emotions sometimes. That don’t pathologise a male desire to set emotions aside if they get in the way of a larger purpose.

The part of "shoulder to shoulder" reeeeaaaalllllyyyy touched me deeply.  I cried so much envisioning standing shoulder to shoulder in the front line of a battle formation, the enemy charging at us, the things we love and are protecting behind us... each there for each other as we face what needs to be faced to protect what we love.  

The image of a circle of men facing outwards also came to mind as a powerful image; with the center, again, being what we're protecting (loved ones, nature, whatever it is).  

This makes me think protecting what is most meaningful to you is a powerful masculine trait or characteristic.  protecting side-by-side.

 

Edited February 6 by Matt23

[UpperMaster]

@Leo Gura Relative no?

[Mormegil]

3 hours ago, Juan said:

Answering the thread, it seems like a tricky but deep question. Some people are answering stuff that also qualifies a good woman imo like being honest, compassion, kindness, etc. 

I have to study deeper into sexuality (what makes a man a man and a woman a woman) before make such conclusions. 

Good point. At some point these gender roles become completely meaningless (to me) and one starts to think about what makes a good person instead. It gets really difficult to draw this distinction, what makes a good man / woman specifically...

[ValiantSalvatore]

14 hours ago, integral said:

A man takes care of his needs, then when sustainable expands to take care of his immediate family, then when that is sustainable expands to take care of a larger circle of friends and people, then expands to his nation, country, world, universal... this keeps expanding until all is umbrellaed. 

Progression of levels to incrementally nurture all that one has the capacity to nurture and have the insight to nurture and not more then one can handle. To nurture within ones means, but not nessisariy a factor of naïve effort, but wise choice. 

So true!

Even when it hurts a little reading this. 

 

Edited February 6 by ValiantSalvatore

[RachaelLewis]

Most importantly; Someone that lets me be me. No trying to control me. Yes by all means gently guide, make suggestions. Either let me be me or there is the door. 

Someone that understands that as a sensual woman I want to be softly and gently caressed and aroused, of course there is a place for hard fast and furious style sex, but you need to work slowly and build it up and either look for cues or ask what I like, work at it. 

Someone that understands I want the man to be a man and help with the things that I'm not designed to do easily as a woman or don't really enjoy, things that need a lot logical building skills and body strength. All the female singers that sang about the independent woman can go suck a dick, I want a real man. 

Someone that understands as a female I get hormones and I'm gonna be a bit more irritable once a month for a couple of days and doesn't take it personally. But by all means if I overstep that mark, yeah tell me to wind it in and stop being a dick. If you want an easy life mark on your calendar a few days before your girls going to have a visit from aunt Flow, run her a bubble bath, cook her a dinner with extra carbs that night, set her up with chocolate and a hot water bottle in bed then leave her to it for a few days while you go play video games or go out with your mates.

Someone that understands as a woman I want to feel sexy, special and yeah ne spoilt sometimes and made to feel important and wanted. It doesn't have to be romantic nights in a hot tub, although occasionally that's awesome and much appreciated, it can be spontaneous hugs, compliments, bringing a cup of tea.

Someone that is independent and has their own life and gets on with it and lets me get in with mine but comes together to enjoy time together when both want that.

Someone that's not afraid to have debates and philosophical conversation, to show interest in her airy fairy hobbies and not be afraid to open up a little and try that tantra, kundalini or yoga workshop.

This is my perspective as a 41 year old woman that's been with my husband for twenty years and has a happy marriage with mutual understanding and respect. I still find my self falling deeper in love with my husband and still think he is the most beautiful man inside and out. I love and appreciate what we have right here, right now. But know this may change one day and just love what we have here and now. I want him to be happy and be his best self and encourage him to do all he wants to do and give complete freedom for him as he does for me with personal endeavours. We work at making compromises when needed to find a balance. Were still finding out new things about each other now. We didn't just lay it all on the table. Were still learning 

[Jenkins]

In my opinion a good man is loud with his character and not with his words.

Clothes have little to no importance.

He's the stoic mountain, grounded. Women are emotional around him as they feel they're understood, and they can be taken care of (not saying this should be the scenario, however it feels good once in a while).

A good man sees the potential in others and judges them by that, not by their shortcomings.

A good man is like a concrete foundation.

A good man is honest.

A good man is brave and would protect his family with the price of his life.

A good man is an example to his link to the future.

A good man is selfless as he realizes "he" is bollocks.

A good man functions even better with a good woman around him.

A good man sees through deceit and puppet shows.

[Shin]

Someone who's not afraid to suffer mentally or physically to achieve whatever his goal is.

Someone compassionate to the suffering and level of development of other people/the world.

Someone who is willing to put his best interest out of the equation if it means everyone else is gaining something out of it.

Someone who does what it says, and does what he thinks is the right thing to do, regardless of other people's opinion and cultural standard.

Someone who is both fierce and kind at the same time, capable to say and do harsh things, even to friends, if that is what those friends need.

Someone who is first and foremost thinking about the well being of his family/company/country/the world, and not himself.

Someone who doesn't take life too seriously and can make fun of himself.

Someone who inspires hope and courage to other.

[Manusia]

Real life example:

Jake Woodard.

Polarity.

He is a people pleaser that have lot of problem in the house but he manage to overcome it.
https://www.instagram.com/_jakewoodard/?hl=id

 

Ryan King

He really is on the edge of masculinity. For me sometimes its too much. His content is interesting.

https://www.instagram.com/thewisdomofkings/?hl=id

 

Brendan Schmidt

I am new followers, but the content is interesting.

https://www.instagram.com/masculinerevival/?hl=id

 

All of the three above provide lots of content about this topic. @Leo Gura

[Bird Larry]

This is the long version of Krishnamurti talking about being a "good boy" or "girl"

In short, Krishnamurti puts emphasis on sensitivity being a major factor to become a good human being. People try to discard the senses, but he wanted his students to learn deeply, think deeply, watch, listen, feel. 

The "good" person is not a "nice" person, and many may object to the use of the word "good" because of the moral connotations that we may put into it mistakenly. But if we are to investigate deeply, anything good cannot have an opposite, like evil, just like how beauty doesn't have it also. 

Edited February 7 by Bird Larry

[Emerald]

Great video about a Japanese concept that explains masculinity. It’s the explanation I’ve heard that’s most in alignment with how I’ve experienced Divine Masculine both in and out of my Ayahuasca experiences.

[StarStruck]

A healthy male is somebody who is polarized to healthy female energy. 

He is made in the image of God.

He is the medium between heaven and earth. 

An animal capable of destruction but has tamed his inner animal. 

Capable both in word and action.

Capable of sacrifice for love at the expense of short term gratification. 

[MuadDib]

 

[Kingston]

A quality of a Good Man:

• Pursue Love
• Value Integrity
• Self-Reflection/Self-Awareness
• Self-Love/Forgiveness
• Pursue genuine understanding of Life 
• Have a life purpose
• Be authentic
• Never give up on his highest vision/pursue
• Financial Independence 
• Healthy Living
• Overall Holistic Life

[Mormegil]

On 9.2.2023 at 5:37 AM, MuadDib said:

 

That's really a great video (and channel), thanks for sharing!

[2ndComing]

Core is loving God with all your heart/mind/soul.

That means you are in good physical shape, take care of your body.

That means you are in good mental shape, read books/articles, listen to audiobooks/watch lectures, have mentors. Go to a therapist and go to church

That means you have a good soul sharing your time/knowledge/money/actions/emotions.

Also don't be scared of improving your LMS, looks, money, status, MBS>LMS, but yeah ideally both

"Opposite of a great truth isn't a lie, but ANOTHER great truth" Niels Bohr