Leo Gura

What Makes A Good Man?

150 posts in this topic

I am an unhealthy man. I am a hermit. I don't give a shit about pretty much anyone but me. This is a truth most of us live in. Regardless of gender.

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2 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

I am an unhealthy man. I am a hermit. I don't give a shit about pretty much anyone but me. This is a truth most of us live in. Regardless of gender.

MMmmmmmm..... I love beautiful people and animals. My appreciation depends on their existence. Especially those unique ones. If snakes, eagles, and JG don't exist. I can not acknowledge the feeling as now I'm looking at them. It makes me care about how they are. I will never don't want connections.

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There are many points ,but main point that drives all others of being a good man is :being in control and influence of himself, not being influenced and controled by outside forces...from there comes understanding of yourself your path etc. This is a deeper topic of its own, its not just the normie advice control your emotions and yourself ,you dont have foundation for it , so in the end it will turn into passive agression and boiled up emotions etc.

Edited by NoSelfSelf

Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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Masculinity is a role given to men to uphold and maintain society. Therefore traits that maintain the social fabric of society and uphold collective unity are desirable in men. 

Desirable traits in men are:

  • Dependability.
  • Honesty.
  • A sense of honor.
  • A diplomatic mindset around conflict resolution.
  • Courage.
  • Strength.
  • Selflessness.
  • Perseverance.
  • The ability to forgive.
  • The ability to cooperate.

Trait may vary from culture to culture in order to suit the environment.

 

Edited by vindicated erudite

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A good man contemplates his answers before replying to topics on forums. :D Def not what I do. Basically any time when there is a "real man" discussion, i want to answer i am neither a good or real man, because i feel this is a pointless discussion to have and is a "only you have to think how to improve, not me".

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A good man is a problem solvaholic. He deliberately searches for problems so he can solve them. Out of tampons? Don't worry honey I'll make one with some sheep wool.


I left this forum because a moderator has a problem with me talking positively about myself and giving advice. This reflects the forum as a whole. This place is negative, bitter, hateful and anti success. If you don't notice this that's because you're one of them. I hope some of you benefited from my posts. Take care.

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In my psychedelic experiences of Divine Masculine, there was the experience of God Mind and God Heart.

And it was this mixture of deep vulnerability and attachment mixed with infinite strength and detachment.

And it allowed the Divine Masculine to extend itself through every facet of reality and to come to know and love all things infinitely… and to care deeply for all things and grieve all losses.

And if I’m to pick the number one quality that makes a great man is that he is able to embody this in human form.

It is the Lover Archetype that extends the most vulnerable parts of itself to give love out into the world. And being willing to experience pain and discomfort if it comes, in the pursuit of this love giving.

And practically this looks like a generous and prolific giving to his family, community, and humanity at large.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

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6 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@Emerald It's good to have you back, Emerald :x

Hey, good to see you ?

 


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

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Just going to post what I think after going through what I wanted to go through:
 

  • Vision oriented and purpose oriented
  • Thinks about values and integrity and works on character qualties empathy,compassion/love,honesty, 
  • Is aware of shadow personality
  • Knows what he wants most of the time 
  • Goes for what he wants
  • Has drive 
  • Stability as well as aspects for a proper prolific future (excuse my english)
  • A certain level of humility (depends on times...)
  • Does not disregard the weak.
  • Does not engage in gossip of the very toxic kind, in terms of gaterhing information I feel it's fine to talk about others sometime
  • Keeps his word, and does his work (I struggle with this personally for various reasons, as I overestimate myself at times)
  • Interested in god/spirituality in a non-dogmatic and non-idealogical way
  • Has projects.
  • Integrates feminine side, and is playful.
  • Rejects toxic feminity!!
  • Has courage to say the truth without going to ham
  • Accept deeper yearnings&darker desires, and chooses to engage and not engage in them.
  • Generally gives direction 
  • Can lean into feminine when to much masculine is present
  • Is not overly neutral, yet is neutral when situation asks for it.
  • Is a sexual creature, knows how to please women and enjoys it!
  • Positive ownership in relationships
  • Accepts feedback and does not engage in over-thinking
  • Questions assumptions
  • Let's go of control and controlling others and manipulating
  • Does not act in the expense of others
  • Does not engage in apeish group mockery, out of fear and insecurity
  • Knows how to make fun of himself at times (not to much!!! no clowning)
  • Takes care of physical health
  • Is assertive and direct tells girlfriend 女朋友, boundaries, desires and is interested in holistic communcation and power disambiguation 
  • Motivates and supports partner in spiritual pursuit and carrer.
  • Accepts others for who they are and is open-minded.
  • Kicks out toxic loosers in his life who are disinterested in beign in integrity and are just in for the money (tricky, because some like this authentically and need to do the mistake eventually)
  • Is a creator and comepetitor and is not overly competetive, as a certain level of healthy competition with focus on the process, art, beauty and the craft is needed. The best performance comes from god, lol.
  • Is passionate about one and or two things in life (I struggle with this at some level, as I underwent some changes)
  • No smoking cigarettes to be cool
  • Not following toxic media and seeing it as the absolute pinnacle of what masculinity is about.
  • Sees relationships as a mastery process
  • Integrates healthy red (assertivness and going after what you want) with healthy yellow not going for excessive self-interest
  • Upgrades life conditions without excessive self-interest and accepts the ineviabillity of some of it, without demonizing it to much.
  • Non-judgement (I struggle with this to some extend)
  • Aceepts women who have power (It's odd at times, yet I still empower it 99.9% of the times... that is an odd TQ quality... might be purple also)
  • Helps and aids those weaker than himself does not see himself as above as well as beneath others. (tricky as hell -> look into the mirror)
  • Integrates healthy tough love as well as healthy levels of compassion as a feminine approach (tricky as hell)
  • Not lost in schizophrenic delusions (been there, learned some stuff)
  • Accepts the inevitabillity of lonliness at times
  • Non-needy as well as goes after his needs (see Abraham Maslow) healthy friendships, healthy networking (online&offline) etc. Even just brief interactions going out solo and talking to people.
  • Is self-aware
  • Chooses self-aware women/men/trans etc.
  • Does not groom beigns to ones own ideaological agenda.
  • Accepts influence
  • Is aware of projections of others and does not blame others consistently, because of one's own "unfortunate circumstances"
  • Asks for help
  • Goes away from negative news & negative toxic warmongers
  • Accepts most stage of the spiral and is aware of it's pitfalls in Spiral dynamics
  • IMO prefers insight prior to knowledge
  • Does not have predefined categories of women as social roles & stereotypes
  • Engages in positive roles with partner and is aware of them

TLDR; Is not a dick and is not a pussy. (I struggle with not beign a dick at times) 

This is mostly it.

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

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chat with chat-gpt:

 

in zen from the highest perspective can we define good as anything which facilitates awakening?

 

Yes, in Zen philosophy, "good" can indeed be defined as that which leads to awakening or enlightenment. The ultimate goal of Zen is to achieve a state of inner peace, wisdom, and understanding, and any actions, thoughts, or practices that help a person towards this goal can be considered "good."

bearing this definition in mind, how might one define a good man?

 

From the Zen perspective, a "good man" would be someone who strives towards awakening and embodies the qualities associated with it. Such qualities include:

Compassion

Wisdom

Integrity

Mindfulness

Humility

Self-awareness

Kindness

 

A good man, in this sense, would be someone who not only seeks enlightenment for himself but also strives to benefit others and act in accordance with Buddhist principles such as the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path.

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On 31/01/2023 at 9:22 PM, Leo Gura said:

@LastThursday You're getting too absolutist. There is an important relative matter at hand.

Every young man should ask himself the question: How do I become a good man?

Don't overthink this with your nondual God-logic.

This is an episode I would love to see. I struggle greatly with morality and struggle to see where it fits in with awakening...seeing as good and bad don't exist, I would absolutely love to hear some stuff about why I should even be a good man. I struggle to find the reason why I should actually be a good man at all. 

Does morality have a place at all? I've been very confused about this topic for a long time. 

----------

The Christian model of awakening suggests that love flows effortlessly after awakening and that it doesent come from a sense of morality but a sense of general love that is nearly accidental. 

We have been made righteous through death, and the law was not made for the eyes of a righteous man.

...

But awakening can take years, I wonder if morality has even a place for the young seeker who isint awake yet...

Edited by Aaron p

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A man takes care of his needs, then when sustainable expands to take care of his immediate family, then when that is sustainable expands to take care of a larger circle of friends and people, then expands to his nation, country, world, universal... this keeps expanding until all is umbrellaed. 

Progression of levels to incrementally nurture all that one has the capacity to nurture and have the insight to nurture and not more then one can handle. To nurture within ones means, but not nessisariy a factor of naïve effort, but wise choice. 

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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A Good Man does his best to be a steward of the world in his time here.

Edited by Roy

hrhrhtewgfegege

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Answering the thread, it seems like a tricky but deep question. Some people are answering stuff that also qualifies a good woman imo like being honest, compassion, kindness, etc. 

I have to study deeper into sexuality (what makes a man a man and a woman a woman) before make such conclusions. 

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Someone who's able to be honest and do the right thing as he sees it irregardless of personal consequences. 

Edited by Matt23

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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15 minutes ago, Juan said:

Answering the thread, it seems like a tricky but deep question. Some people are answering stuff that also qualifies a good woman imo like being honest, compassion, kindness, etc. 

I have to study deeper into sexuality (what makes a man a man and a woman a woman) before make such conclusions. 

Yes.  I know there is this whole thing about empathy and compassion and the like being also masculine things as well... and ya, like, of course there's a balance and stuff... but also I think there is something unique in the male psyche that attracts him to certain virtues over others; some just feel more meaningful.  

For example, I literally cried ("crying" is putting it mildly.  It was something that was like I NEED THIS) for 30 minutes when I read Alexander Beiner's essay on masculinity (he's a co-founder of Rebel Wisdom)

  • I believe many people, regardless of sex or orientation, are craving stories that celebrate masculinity. That don’t demean men and boys for their preference for connecting shoulder to shoulder instead of face to face. Stories that don’t shame men who prefer not to express their emotions sometimes. That don’t pathologise a male desire to set emotions aside if they get in the way of a larger purpose.

The part of "shoulder to shoulder" reeeeaaaalllllyyyy touched me deeply.  I cried so much envisioning standing shoulder to shoulder in the front line of a battle formation, the enemy charging at us, the things we love and are protecting behind us... each there for each other as we face what needs to be faced to protect what we love.  

The image of a circle of men facing outwards also came to mind as a powerful image; with the center, again, being what we're protecting (loved ones, nature, whatever it is).  

This makes me think protecting what is most meaningful to you is a powerful masculine trait or characteristic.  protecting side-by-side.

 

Edited by Matt23

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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